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Philosophy 101
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Vows
| Philosophy 101 |
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Vows |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,163251,00.html “Vows like "For as long as we continue to love each other," "For as long as our love shall last" and "Until our time together is over" are increasingly replacing the traditional to-the-grave vow — a switch that some call realistic and others call a recipe for failure.” Realistic or a recipe for failure? I’ve had more than one friend say he or she couldn’t see why anyone would marry in the absence of the prospect of children. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Having just said, "thanks for the last 25 years" of a second marriage [for the both of us] I have to sort of grin at this "new stuff". The first marriage to our others were the traditional "till death do us yada yada yada". I added to my first husband, "we won't acknowledge the word 'divorce'". So maybe that's why the dissolution felt like a death grip. When my husband and I went into our second marriage, we still had the traditional vows. However, before the big day arrived, and seeing that we pretty much matched one another for stubbornness, we agreed, "there's the door." And we knew it could swing both ways. Having THAT knowledge, and like I said, being pretty much two stubborn mules, well, the door is still there. We're just trying to outlast the other to see who will go through it, first.  |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Not much point to it that way other than a possible tax break. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
“Not much point to it that way other than a possible tax break.” No, in fact I think the “marriage tax” is still in place as a point against. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I always thought "till death do us part" made the ceremony seem dark and ominous, too much like a death sentence wrapped inside the marriage vow. LOL. I never saw the need to include it, nor do I see the need to add ANY kind of time frame comment. But I liked the vows I heard at a wedding many many years ago. They looked at one another, said something like this: "I love you, and want to wake up each morning next to you. You are a wonderful gift from God, and I will be thankful for whatever time we are gifted to be together." That was about it! The whole dang thing took less than three minutes, and they were together twenty+ years. In fact, as far as I know, they are still together, though I've moved so often I lost their address years ago. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
“I will be thankful for whatever time we are gifted to be together” equals "till death do us part" pretty much |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Guess I didn't hear it that way, and didn't take it as implying death alone might end it. I can see how you might consider it similar, but it's not so morbid sounding. I don't care to hear about death at a wedding, which to me is a 'life' celebration of sharing hearts, bodies and souls. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I believe we all are responsible for viewing marriage in our younger days as an unrealistic fantasy...in the real world there are problems, and sometimes the only way some people can deal with them, or escape them, is to leave...I believe our society has become one of quick fixes, fast foods, etc..., therefore, somewhere along the line, we are loosing the ability to be able to understand, that along with problems in a marriage comes patience, strength, respect, as the tides change and grow, so to do relationships...we love each other unconditionally, meaning...respect the other person's growth, needs for fulfillment and individual happiness...? It is a work in progress meaning, there will be times when we disapoint each other, fail each other and make mistakes, but the good news is...as long as we retain that mutual respect for each other, we will be able to work together listening to each other instead of acting out in childish stubborness, and anger? Our society teaches we must be married or a couple to be successful and we don't. Our society reads love novels and romance stories which are hollywood and not realistic...but, people actually buy this stuff and think a marriage is the same. Look at marriages that are successful, and there are, there is a lot of give and take...but basically, the couple was mature and happy before meeting each other, they were confident in themselves, were very successful already, and simply blended the alreay commodities they possessed which trickeled into their marriage, they were compatible, and enjoyed the same hobbies and feelings...they were able to look at love as extra added benefit to their already contented life...meaning, they didn't expect anyone to save them, or make them happy, or pull them from this pit of agony. They didn't believe that life was empty without each other, they knew that life would be simply more complementing with each other...and through mature understanding, mutual patience and listening, with an ability to allow each to grow as an individual...i.e. continue their education, their hobbies, allowing their individuality, they to this day remain successful and are only happy together, b/c they were happy, content, upheld a moral obligation to themselves, were confident and knew what they were looking for, without compromise or great expection... |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Every being and thing is forever united to every other being or thing, by the eternal bonds of the universe. There is no choice: we are all married.  |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Hey Ess...great to see you...and I like your comment a lot...!!!! |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Well my first marriage vows ended with "till death do us part" I spent the first half of the marriage killing myself, and when that didn't work... I tried to do him a favor, and help us "part" hehe Second time... For as long as we live was the verse I think. Oh and, there was none of that "obey" crap either. I love my hubby and would never do anything to hurt him in any way... but I aint 5 no more either and I don't obey no one but God, The IRS and The Sheriff |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I think that obey part is really rare anymore. Of course, I do still try to obey my wife as much as possible even though technically I did not vow to.  |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
That's because you enjoy sleeping indoors.  |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
Obey < ob "toward" + audire "hear, listen" Obedience < ob "toward" + audiens "hearing, listening" |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
I was just at a wedding this past weekend and they had to word "obey." I had that in my vows too, I kind of looked at my husband and cringed kiddingly however I decided to leave it in there as I kept in mind what Ess defined above. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL at Ali's comment yep, to sleep indoors..might be worth a bit of obedience |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Well, the bottom line is that this isn't the Garden of Eden. 'Cause if it were I would have got it right the first time! My father-in-law did our wedding. So the vows per my wife's instructions didn't include obey. Good thing too for it would have been false advertising. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
“The Court said in effect that marriage has not only outlived its legal usefulness, it said it is discriminatory to treat people differently based on such an outdated social construct.” http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/santorum200507220831.asp |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
perfect example of people being told what to think and how to believe, of course, in a very sublimittal way, so to speak. Is it any wonder why society cannot think for themselves and do not stand up well to finding their own happieness, b/c they are always subject to or looking for approval. Sad...isn't it... |
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