How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Discussion
 Philosophy 101
 Einstein, Heisenberg, and Tipler
 1 2 3
Follow us on Facebook

 Moderated by: Ron   (Admins )

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Einstein, Heisenberg, and Tipler (by John Walker)

 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


0 posted 10-16-2000 06:24 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

Einstein, Heisenberg, and Tipler, after equal invariant intervals in purgatory, find themselves before the Throne of God.

As a man, they exclaim, "What did I do to merit an eternity down (brrrrr) there"?

God thought for a moment; when you're omnipresent in spacetime there's no need for haste. He turned first to Einstein.

"Albert," he said, "you showed your species My creation in its most elegant form, law without Law. Then, inflamed by wartime passion, you urged the transformation of your discovery into a weapon of mass destruction."

Einstein shuffled his feet and nodded subtly. He resisted the temptation to stick his tongue out. God turned His omniscient Eyes toward Heisenberg.

"Werner, you discovered that I do play dice, and you glimpsed that I have to if anything interesting's going to happen--your last words were, `I will ask Him why there is turbulence'. I will answer you, `So there can be Heisenberg'. But you stayed in Germany, Werner! You worked on a reactor for Hitler; you taught physics to brown-shirted Nazi thugs. You'll recall that my Son is Jewish."

"Frank, Frank, Frank," God continued, "didn't you read my book? I read yours, you know. Does the phrase `Thou shalt have no other gods before me' ring a bell? How about `I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the ending'? You not only wanted to have another God before Me, you wanted to be Him. And the money, Frank...do you know how piddling an advance I got for the Bible?. And you assumed causality--you Frank! You should know me better than that."

Tipler, almost defiant, raised his head and fixed God with a cold stare. "Why are there singularities in Your universe?"

"Because there are things I don't want you to know," God responded calmly.

Heisenberg, his dying question answered, remained silent, pondering the choices he'd made during his life on Earth.

Einstein seized the moment, "Look, Old One", he said, "physics is local. You made it that way; I figured it out. But why is there that spooky action-at-a-distance nonlocality in quantum mechanics?"

God chuckled. Even experiencing all of spacetime at once, such events were rare. "Albert, your greatest talent has always been not finding the right answer--anybody could do that--but asking the right question. Your generation learned physics assuming I was a great watchmaker; you destroyed that notion, but most of you died off before it became evident what I was. I create abstract systems from pure information, Albert. I'm a programmer.

"Quantum nonlocality is a bug."

God turned to Saint Peter. "Einstein and Heisenberg go to Heaven. Send Tipler to the massive rotating cylinder to try again. Next case."

God hated these Judgement Days; he couldn't wait (to the extent that's possible for an omnipresent being) to get to back to his craps game with Wotan, Jove, and Shiva. Saint Peter looked up from his infinite scroll, "Fourth Commandment: blasphemy--eternal damnation. Send in Lederman and Hawking".

What was it about these physicists, God wondered, as they approached the Throne.

(John Walker is the founder of Autodesk and author of AutoCAD)
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


1 posted 10-16-2000 07:58 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

First: Don't let Bill Gates see this.

LR - I hadn't read this before... Definitely VERY interesting!

Again: Don't let Bill Gates see this.

C
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


2 posted 10-16-2000 08:00 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

BTW - I use (and have for several years now) AutoCAD. However, excepting release 13 (*brrr*) have found it to be a very reliant program!   If I want to do it... I can. I like that!
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


3 posted 06-24-2003 01:12 AM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

thought the crew might get a chuckle out of resurrecting this one -- given the current evolution of topics...
Local Rebel will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply Post New Topic   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Discussion >> Philosophy 101 >> Einstein, Heisenberg, and Tipler Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Not Available
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors