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Open Poetry #26
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Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
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where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-06-08 11:36 PM


My world's become so dark and grey..
I feel like chalk old fashioned,
reading horoscopes on a long scrolling page.
To tell me how I feel,
say you see my future in the stars.
It's almost as if, as a woman, I think about
how invisible I am to myself.
People see the cocoon I call
my eveloped soul's capture.
And I am still a flower just waiting to bloom,
still not needing any sunlight from you.
As my freedom sets into my mind,
the chemicals balance themselves unevenly to create
something that seems to work, to make sense.
I'll carry myself upon a gorgeous white steed,
ride into the sunset with my own hands to guide me..
And with or without you, my world would be grey..

© Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
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since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-06-08 11:37 PM


I really enjoyed the read.

Cold hands means a warm heart

majnu
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since 2002-10-13
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SF Bay Area
2 posted 2003-06-09 01:19 AM


I feel like chalk old fashioned,

that is a great metaphor. its so physical, visual, and emotional all at once.

watch you cliches. there are a couple in this poem. a dark and grey world declared as such is one.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
3 posted 2003-06-09 02:14 AM


I had a verily hard time trying to paint the picture of a black and white world (without using the words black and white). "Dark and grey" perhaps wasn't the best way to describe it.

[This message has been edited by Kaoru (06-09-2003 02:14 AM).]

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
4 posted 2003-06-09 04:36 AM


good write
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