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Open Poetry #26
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SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts

0 posted 2003-06-05 05:35 PM



Would she have done it any way
If she knew it would turn out this way
Opened the bottle
Put the knife to her wrist
Put the Gun to her head
Would you have done it anyway?
If you knew that in the end it wasn’t going to be ok
You weren’t going to be living in a couple of weeks
You wouldn’t be kissing your parents cheeks
Do you know now who came to your funeral
Everyone did
Do you know now who cried every night
Everyone did
And now your friends lay alone at night
No sleep overs anymore
And your bedroom door is still closed
Your clothes still laying on the floor
And how do you feel now
That its over
There’s no turning back anymore
You made the decision and you cant change your mind
But Would you have done it anyway?
If you knew
Everything wasn’t going to be ok.
Wish you could relive that one last breath
And make out a cry maybe to stop your death
Well if they heard you you know theyd come running
But they couldn’t save you in time
If you wanted some attention
You could have had it
Well now your gone
Is there any one to love you where you are?
Your time is up
Your life is gone
You should have made the right choice
Because it takes one mistake to move on to death
And it takes one to know one.

© Copyright 2003 Sara Connolly - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-06-05 05:47 PM


pretty serious stuff...and those who think that ending it all is a choice that makes sense truly do need help... hopefully before they act on their thoughts.

Now it ends with it takes one to know one...
care to explain how you mean that?


SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts
2 posted 2003-06-05 05:50 PM


heeh i know its a very confusing ending and I honestly dont know myself.  Sometimes you just write things and you knwo they belong there but you just dont understand them...have you ever done that?  I guess if I had to decipher it I believe that its because a friend of mine tried to commit suicide and I had a feeling she would because I admit I am a little suicidal too so i kind of had a feeling.  I know its out of place but I think it goes fine.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-06-05 05:53 PM


I assumed their was an understanding implied in the ending... that you somehow understood it a lot better than you wanted to..or cared to admit..

yes it goes fine..the real concern on my part is that if you personally feel that way..that you get help... or talk to someone like a counseler about what you are feeling.
You make the point well, that it is a choice that ends it all..and there is no going back from it... you have far too much to live for and far too long yet to live to give it up now...

so.... I was just making sure... that you were ok...


SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts
4 posted 2003-06-05 05:55 PM


Thank you very much for the concern.  I suffer from an anxiety disorder and it caused me to feel a lot of symptoms of depression I am on anti depressents for the anxiety and depression at the moment and hopefully that will help me out.  But i still enjoy venting through my poetry-however poorly it may be written.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2003-06-05 06:03 PM


not poorly at all...

and writing out our frustrations and feeling in poetry is an excellent tool to not only help us deal with things, but to learn to express them in a positive manner.

You'll find angst all over these pages.. we all suffer from teh ups and downs of life and those of us who write..often write them out or express them in ways we can hopefully learn from and perhaps help someone else understand...

Well... we tend to look out for each other here..and if life starts getting you down, there is usually someone here that will talk with you or at least sympathize with you and try to understand what it is you are experiencing...
Now.. writing...
this was actually quite good... not poorly written at all in my opinon. As with all things writing takes practice and a desire to improve... stick around..read as many of the poets here as you can and it won't take you long to begin to see things you hadn't thought about when it comes to writing... There are truly some very talented people on here...and Ms Sunshine is one of them...despite the hard time I gave her over in the announcements forum... I could name dozens...but you read..and chose the one you think are good and then figure out why they are good... what makes what they write seem good to you...and try to apply those same things to your own....

now..having said all that... I think I'll hush... ( chuckling)



SarBear
Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 205
Massachusetts
6 posted 2003-06-05 06:05 PM


thank you
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