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Open Poetry #26
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mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814


0 posted 2003-06-05 10:36 AM


She drinks him awake
swirling in her cup,
making no additions
only wanting more,
happy with this thought
and only this.

Then goes to bed
alone
dreaming monsters,
screams,
remembered scenes,
ugly, tormenting,
unmentionable things,
awakening to fear and sweat.
And imagines she’s the whore.

This is how it goes,
day by day or week to week.
She’ll be this way
until she breaks.
She does not know
how much he’s pleased
accepted
just to be.


Note: I think I should add here that
I agree with this so long as the "be"ing
isn't destructive.  I didn't think of it
until now, but I think I should say that.


[This message has been edited by mirror man (06-05-2003 05:19 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 mirror man - All Rights Reserved
dani
Junior Member
since 2003-05-10
Posts 46

1 posted 2003-06-05 10:41 AM


the first vese was my favourite
mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

2 posted 2003-06-05 10:47 AM


dani -- thank you.  I think what's happening is that I'm trying to work out the HTML and you're maybe seeing only part of it as I edit.  
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-06-05 12:57 PM


"She'll be the way until she breaks"

yeah...sigh

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
4 posted 2003-06-05 01:01 PM


"She does not know
how much he’s pleased
accepted
just to be"


like the ending..would like to send that to someone.
enjoyed

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

5 posted 2003-06-05 02:15 PM


passing shadows -- yes, I see a lot of this.  Pointless self-destruction.  It's one thing to make a mistake (assuming it is a mistake), but it's something else to punish oneself for it for life.

bslicker -- you are very welcome.  Send it.  I hope it helps.

KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
6 posted 2003-06-05 04:09 PM


~Sigh~

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2003-06-05 04:44 PM


enjoyed
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

8 posted 2003-06-07 11:06 AM


This is very good, descriptive.  It pulled me in as soon as I read the first line.  Do you know me????
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2003-06-07 01:03 PM


Bravo mirrorman~
I especially enjoyed your keen eye and the will to accept those things we cannot change.


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2003-06-07 01:07 PM


talk about a cupful of emotions...
well written, mirror man
sipping this one, tasting a memory

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2003-06-07 02:06 PM


I honestly did see myself in this write
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