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Open Poetry #26
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Ishmael
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 51


0 posted 2003-06-04 03:28 AM


She wrote novellas
that would capture a moment
cleverly and completely

The one that I remember best
was set in a sunlit slice
of Philadelphia’s South Street

The story of a busy market place

In which a furtive young couple
clings tenaciously
to the little bit of luck
that is left to them
Their eyes hidden by $3.00 sunglasses
their faces obscured by long greasy hair
Glancing about
for the man that would supply them
with that which would make their life
a little bit better or a little bit worse
for the rest of the day

The aproned Greengrocer
lording over his open-air stall
Impatient for closing time
and his twice-weekly ritual
that includes a couple of drinks
followed by a drunken coupling
in an apartment above the bar
Then, leaving that loveless bed
to return home
to a bed equally loveless
and considerably cooler

And the old woman
dressed in her mourning blacks
filling her basket in a frugal way  
with those things
she can comfortably cook on a hotplate
While she lights her candles
and recites her “Our Fathers”
in the over-hot and under-lit room
in which
she will spend her few remaining days

This story and others
she wrote with her brushes
in thick vibrant oils
And there, within every stroke
a word
a phrase
a sentence

© Copyright 2003 Ishmael - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-06-04 03:30 AM


pretty cool write
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-06-04 08:08 AM


great imagery here and the scene set well with the small stories woven out of what we might imagine we see...

I enjoyed.

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
3 posted 2003-06-04 10:41 AM


the last bit was exceptionally nice.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2003-06-04 10:46 AM


And the old woman
dressed in her mourning blacks
filling her basket in a frugal way  
with those things
she can comfortably cook on a hotplate
While she lights her candles
and recites her “Our Fathers”
in the over-hot and under-lit room
in which
she will spend her few remaining days

~*~

She writes, well indeed...
to capture such an image...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2003-06-04 10:48 AM


Ishmael
Good writing, enjoyed the read.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2003-06-04 12:33 PM


loved this write
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2003-06-04 04:07 PM


Just an expection piece of writing.  I am really enjoying your work.

                        

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2003-06-04 05:58 PM


Enjoyed...James
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2003-06-04 06:10 PM


Ishmael

Words can be like an artist's canvas...yours certainly painted this scene with skill and a sensitive hand.  Much enjoyed!

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
10 posted 2003-06-05 09:53 PM


Martie took my response....shucks

but yes
you painted

I especially liked the old woman........
made her vivid, colorful
my eye was drawn

nice

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