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Open Poetry #26
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2003-06-03 11:36 AM


She strolled, with eyes downwardly linger,
on a path of green through a lick of finger

in the down of the wet
grasses free there growing
she took the path toward salt lick
knowing there would be a trough
and a head upon a stick
that she might want some of
--so she braved the flies.

To step beyond the warning
Beyond the stench of the day’s warming

the branches, reaching out to touch her passing
footprints within the shadows they’re casting
till path of green spreads wide from the shadow
flowing into a flowered and bright meadow

Rainbows from morning dew still on leaf
Drifting down to her in beauty beneath

took a leaf unto her tongue
and tasted of the universe
dripping down her chest in drops

The sun cresting over the tree tops
Pauses briefly and will not stop
As it dries the moisture and warms the skin
Brightness to the meadow she is in
No shadows reign no wind stirs
Just the grass the flowers and her.

But moment her pass to fast
And she must leave at last
Returning to the concrete
That’s harsh beneath her feet
It’s ugliness cause her eyes pain
Like the tears

flowing down a city drain
prison bars of shadows linger
in the charcoal
cigarettes
as they fall and dim
taking beat of city heat
and smelting papers
taxicabs
breathe exhaust
and pay the cost
of fighting
living
oh so close


© Copyright 2003 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-06-03 11:40 AM


and I wish they were ALL my words.

smile.



thank you, PG

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2003-06-03 11:40 AM


wow you two, this is amazing....I liked the begining the best....so beautiful
Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-06-03 11:41 AM



But the combination...is exquisite.
Thank you BOTH!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2003-06-03 12:18 PM


This piece made me miss where I grew up..the corn fields, the smell of the farms, hay, the green.  

Susan

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
5 posted 2003-06-03 09:41 PM


she strolled...
    .... oh so close

this is beautiful you two

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-06-03 09:54 PM


Wonderful blending of ink and words here.
Du-et again soon please.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
7 posted 2003-06-03 09:59 PM


terricic penning of phrases brings out the best in the write of two,,,

Poetry is a vision that portrays ones impressions.QjQ

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2003-06-03 10:01 PM


serenity and gloom...a great combination!  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2003-06-03 10:31 PM



You should write under the combined name of Gloomy Serenity!! Very well done!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2003-06-04 04:32 AM



Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
11 posted 2003-06-04 03:55 PM


That was simply incredible!  I printed this out and am keeping it in my favorites.  What a collaboration, simply exquisite work.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2003-06-04 08:10 PM


I wanted to thank you all for your kindness, but especially YOU prof, for tolerating my madness. You put so much thought and skill into writing that it sometimes deceives the reader with an appearance of "ease."

I'm honored that you wrote with me, and I hope we can do this again sometime.

It was much fun...and? gloomy serenity makes good sense to me! Hugs you, and many thanks.


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
13 posted 2003-06-04 08:16 PM


You two sang in perfect harmony! You are both masters of descriptive writing!

Luvin' hugs to you Professor, & to our Serene One,
Linda

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
14 posted 2003-06-04 08:40 PM


nice work you two nice duet hugs
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
15 posted 2003-06-04 08:53 PM


Man you two! This is awesome! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
16 posted 2003-06-04 11:47 PM


Who knew? A match made in heaven! Fabulous. Do it again, okay?

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
17 posted 2003-06-05 07:31 AM


Thank you, Sea
Almost all the beginning is Serenity’s
Much of this is hers,
I just simply used a few words to glue hers together

Thank you, Sunshine,
I am pleased you think it came out so well,

Thank you, Susan Caldwell,
Interestingly, those parts are mine,
Sweet Serenity was being perturbed by the flies

Thank you, Brian Sites,
Glad you liked

Thank you, Enchantress,
That is entirely up to others, I do not begin duets.

Thank you, QjQ,
Thank you, Martie

Thank you, Poet deVine,
An interesting pen name for collaboration

Thank you, passing shadows
Thank you, Mysteria,
Your praise is very kind.

Thank you, Earth Angel,
I think of it more as a fugue, Glad you enjoyed.

Thank you, vandana,
Pleased you enjoyed

Thank you, Nightshade,
For your words of support

Thank you, Larry C
Not sure heaven was the proper placement,
But pleased you liked it.

Gloom

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
18 posted 2003-06-05 03:23 PM


a good contrast of your writing styles and thoughts...

I liked these lines the most:

No shadows reign no wind stirs
Just the grass the flowers and her.

very beautiful


M

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