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Open Poetry #26
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-06-02 10:20 AM



2AM and dust
from wheels turning too fast
on graveled ruts once called road
play games with headlights
that are supposed to illuminate
but instead reflect
back into bloodshot eyes
that would like to close
but it is too early yet
to deny the dreams
too late still to go back.

Soft
The cloud of grime
Coating all it touches
With pieces of other times
That grit against skin
When a finger slides
To wipe away
The ghosts behind burned retina images
From staring too long
Into the sun

If I make it to 3
Perhaps the sleep will come
Without the painted Monet’s
Of you and I changing into
Van Gogh’s nightmare dream
But for now…
It is 2:10…
And I still see you
Are not here.

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2003-06-02 10:22 AM


Wow. I'm keeping this and will read it again...at 2AM. yep, I'll be there.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2003-06-02 10:25 AM


but it is too early yet
to deny the dreams
too late still to go back.

..I know this  feeling, too well.

I end up watching the minutes drag most of the night.
M

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-06-02 10:28 AM



I could take
lessons from one
such as you
in line breaks...
where double entendre
speaks
clearly.

Excellent write...

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2003-06-02 10:30 AM


Ron...you've painted me sad...now, how about finding the color of glad? In the night that happens sometimes, wonder if it is just warped reality, or if day has a way of wiping clean the slate.  
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2003-06-02 11:02 AM


"But for now…
It is 2:10…
And I still see you
Are not here."


know this well... I just love the way you write...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2003-06-02 11:10 AM


"Soft
The cloud of grime
Coating all it touches
With pieces of other times
That grit against skin"

A soft cloud of grime that leaves grit against the skin....I like the conflict of that.  

Excellent my friend!

Susan C.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-06-02 11:22 AM


When a finger slides
To wipe away
The ghosts behind burned retina images
From staring too long
Into the sun

If I make it to 3
Perhaps the sleep will come
Without the painted Monet’s
Of you and I changing into
Van Gogh’s nightmare dream
But for now…
It is 2:10…
And I still see you
Are not here.
========================

my oh mothy my...just look at what youve done here with imagery, theme, metaphor, personification and emote...not to mention impact of that emote..tis poetic mastery like this that keeps the moths coming back time and time again
excellent write poet sir

Im still imagining your voice ...
can see the sparkle in your eyes.
I cant explain your power over me
Its understated understood & beautiful.
cj

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
8 posted 2003-06-02 12:35 PM


Very good Cpat

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2003-06-02 12:38 PM


yeah...damn...that's it...exactly it
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2003-06-02 01:18 PM


Oh, my... why is it that a night flies by when we're deep into dreams that make us smile... but that 2-4 am lasts a century when to even think of such dreams is to laugh... or cry?  *S* I know my next round with sleeplessness is right around the corner... I'll read this again and know that you know.  *S* Excellent!
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
11 posted 2003-06-02 01:21 PM


You speak it well.  I understand these long nights.  Joyce
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
12 posted 2003-06-02 01:26 PM


Cpat,
Excellent write, Even I the dreamer get lost along the way.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

13 posted 2003-06-02 10:07 PM


'but it is too early yet
to deny the dreams
too late still to go back.'

Yep.  How long the night can be...

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
14 posted 2003-06-02 10:09 PM


The worst thing about being over tired is knowing you cant get to sleep. Very well written and expressed.


Julie

"Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened. "

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-06-02 10:16 PM


2AM and dust
from wheels turning too fast
on graveled ruts once called road
play games with headlights
that are supposed to illuminate
but instead reflect
back into bloodshot eyes
that would like to close
but it is too early yet
to deny the dreams
too late still to go back.


Goodness, Capt Ron, I wish I could write like that!!  
Hugs  
Ethel

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
16 posted 2003-06-03 01:30 AM


Hey, is it 2 AM yet?
NO? Well, is this close enough? HELLO? ARE YOU AWAKE?
LOL. Goodnite, Ron.

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (06-03-2003 01:32 AM).]

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