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Open Poetry #26

working on a portrait

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

0 posted 2003-05-31 11:25 AM

working on a portrait
in the dark
wondering how to paint
the likes
of you,
whose true visage
tries to remain
hidden from view

oh, I see the shape
of the nose,
the chin and the gaze
and how you tilt
your head to one side,
as if listening
to my every word
while thinking
how nice it would be
to lie alongside greener pastures
and underneath
bluer skies

your eyes deceive only you

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (05-31-2003 11:31 AM).]

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

1 posted 2003-05-31 11:32 AM

your eyes deceive only you

what a great line here..it left me impressed with the ability of the artist to read into facial expressions and sad as I thought of the model wallowing in denial

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

2 posted 2003-05-31 11:47 AM

Beautiful....keep working on your portrait for your heart will bring it to life...I love it...

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2003-05-31 11:50 AM

thank you kaile

and thank you, lady Startime

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

4 posted 2003-05-31 11:56 AM

Very nice

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2003-05-31 12:05 PM

truth is always in the eyes....

wow, I really liked the way you wrote this

Dreamless Decay
Junior Member

since 2003-05-30

Posts 13
MO

6 posted 2003-05-31 12:09 PM

I like that, "your eyes deceive only you" shame how true that is, nice piece

"Looking over your shoulder fleeing from The Reaper...Look closer seeing only your own reflection in a puddle of rain."

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2003-05-31 01:28 PM

great ending line, so very true

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

8 posted 2003-05-31 01:50 PM

thanks friends, it's always comforting to have friendly faces visit

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