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Open Poetry #26

The Elixir

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

0 posted 2003-05-29 11:48 AM

The following somewhat inspired by Ratleader's 'Wrap the Man'.

The Elixir

You came into my life
suddenly, without warning,
and struck a deathly blow
to my defenses.
Your weapons so natural to you --
You need not learn to wield them
-- For they are hard-coded in you.
And under the forces of your Nature --
...the sunlight of your eyes
...the warm flow of your breath
...the moisture of your lips --
I crumbled as an ancient wall;
my fortifications rendered useless;
the mortar pulverized by the
Elixir you offered - and it I drank,
so willingly, to intoxication.

You have removed the stones one by one...
But now - tell me - what will you do
with the bared heart?

CG

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2003-05-29 12:21 PM

a smooth elixer
may the cup remain full and sweet

Nice to meet you! Enjoyed the imagery.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-05-29 01:03 PM

neat write

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

3 posted 2003-05-29 11:17 PM

Well - I'm honored! It was worth the write, to have something of this caliber spring from it. Same sort of idea, extended to an altogether new depth...

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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