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Open Poetry #26
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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2003-05-29 12:40 PM



The last time I touched you
I was fine
until I closed my eyes;
though only for my heart's beat,
it was enough
to let you come again
inside my mind,
to leave part of yourself,
hot and thickly clinging,
high up against the back wall
of my soul;

always
the feel of you stays with me
past the moment you withdraw,
but no matter how I try
to hold the memory of the thought,
I ought to know by now
it cools and thins,
too soon dissolves,
then runs down through me
like a sudden unexpected summer rain.

©2003 by icebox

© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2003-05-29 12:53 PM


wow
3D imagery here
into the library for safe keeping
sad, but exquisitely written

[This message has been edited by Midnitesun (05-29-2003 12:55 AM).]

Rdz9
Member
since 2003-03-16
Posts 142
MT, USA
2 posted 2003-05-29 12:55 PM


Touching... well written... reminds me of a summer love.

One in a sea of millions has the power to change the world...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-05-29 02:37 AM


I"m left aching
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2003-05-29 10:29 AM


icebox

I think some people touch inside in such a way, that they stay forever in the soul.  The ache comes when you can't hold on to the feel of them.  I do like your poetry...feels warm and thoughtful, not like an iceman.

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2003-05-29 10:37 AM


liked it
carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
6 posted 2003-05-29 09:11 PM


icebox,very good poetry I liked the read

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
7 posted 2003-05-29 10:09 PM


"it was enough
to let you come again
inside my mind,
to leave part of yourself,
hot and thickly clinging,
high up against the back wall
of my soul;"

this is one of the most vivid images I've read in a while...you've done an excellent job, as always...I truly enjoyed this...

sp  

just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2003-05-29 11:13 PM


but no matter how I try
to hold the memory of the thought,
I ought to know by now
it cools and thins,
too soon dissolves,
then runs down through me
like a sudden unexpected summer rain.
===================

superb imagery and personification...
and the emotions rise off the page...
excellent, expressive writing poet IB.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate ... only love can do that.
MLK

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
9 posted 2003-05-29 11:46 PM


Midnitesun ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment.  I am glad you enjoyed this.

Rdz9 ~ Yes, summer love never can be re-captured.  Thank you for reading my poem.

passing shadows ~ I'd offer to place my hand over the ache and make it go away, but that is perhaps too easily taken as inappropriate. *smile*    Thank you for reading my poem.

Martie ~ *laugh* Someone once said I was like ice water given to a freezing man.  I do believe in the thread that connects across time, but I also know that the senses can be dulled by pain.  Thank you for reading my poem and for your comments.

vandana ~ I am glad you liked it.  Thank you for reading it.

carol ~ Thank you; I appreciate your comment.

snowpants ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment.  I am glad you enjoyed it.

Janet Marie ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment.  I am glad you like the imagery.  

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