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Open Poetry #26
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Nightshade
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0 posted 2003-05-28 08:02 PM








.
.
.
Take a chance on love
Be eager to spin fate's wheel
Let your heart sing out
Join the chorus of life's chimes
Tinkling with each first kiss ~


.
.
.
Chris Barker
May 2003
~~

© Copyright 2003 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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1 posted 2003-05-28 08:07 PM




(smiles) Oh Chris, this is beautiful, sweet friend, I believe in love and I dream sooooooooo uch to offer this love to a beautiful girl who I dream to love! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, may love always ring in your heart like a glockenspiel piano melody, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chris, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Nightshade
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2 posted 2003-05-28 08:27 PM


Awwww Noah, my sweet friend. Love will come to you...just be patient. Thankyou for reading and responding as you always do. hugs!

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Magnus
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3 posted 2003-05-28 09:33 PM


Chris,  whatever it is...it is a beautiful
cluster of words with a heckuva lot of
feel to them.  OK?  Liked it.

jwesley
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4 posted 2003-05-28 09:44 PM


Well, like magnus, I can't answer the tanka?? question, I barely know what words are least wise how to "format" them, but lovely it is in it's form, and function...

jwesley

Sunshine
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5 posted 2003-05-28 09:53 PM



Almost a Tanka, dear...you're missing one syllable on the last line...but the thought, the photo?  Priceless!

garysgirl
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6 posted 2003-05-28 09:54 PM


I love this tanka, Chris. I'm so glad
that I "took a chance on love" again.
If I hadn't, I would have missed the love of the
most wonderful man I've ever known!!
Hugs to you, friend  
Ethel
.
.
.
(Pssstt!! From what I've written down that a tanka is, you've got the syllable count  exactly perfect.....
5 lines
1st line 5 syllables
2nd line 7
3rd line 5
4th line 7
5th line 7
Aren't these little Japanese verses fun to write? I love to try them.)

garysgirl
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7 posted 2003-05-28 09:55 PM


Uh-oh. I missed what Karilea saw. Sorry.
Enchantress
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Canada eh.
8 posted 2003-05-28 10:06 PM


Beautiful words of love tonight dear sister.
Much enjoyed the thoughts, especially after last Saturday.
~Love, and it was great to see you! Teed~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

ThisDiamond
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9 posted 2003-05-28 10:10 PM


This write sang like windchimes in the sunset...very pretty. TD
Nightshade
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10 posted 2003-05-28 10:32 PM


Thankyou all. Now, you have me wondering....is "tinkling" not 3 syllables? I never was good at math...lol.
Hugs all !!

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

WhiteRose
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11 posted 2003-05-28 11:41 PM


I love playing with the Japanese styles of poetry. Unfortunately my muse is not as enthusiastic about them as I am. But this one is just wonderful.

[This message has been edited by WhiteRose (05-28-2003 11:41 PM).]

SmartChick
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12 posted 2003-05-29 01:09 AM


Just lovely, Chris!
passing shadows
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13 posted 2003-05-29 02:35 AM


that's beautiful
Janet Marie
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14 posted 2003-05-29 08:32 AM


isnt that the funny thing bout syllables...it often depends on where we live, or our accents, how we pronounce words and sometimes that will effect how we hear it. I had the same problem when I was learning to write these... my "hick" MO accent added a few sounds that the dictionary told me didnt belong. LOL
So I went an looked this one up....

Main Entry: [1]tin·kle
Pronunciation: 'ti[ng]-k&l
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): tin·kled; tin·kling

Webster says its 2....
Either way..the poem is lovely and its so cool to see you trying new styles and as I say..playing with your poetry.

perfect pic too.
lovely theme poetess Chris

Darkness cannot drive out darkness ... only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate ... only love can do that.
MLK

ethome
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15 posted 2003-05-29 08:39 AM


Very nicely done Chris.

The best teachers have the biggest ears

Nightshade
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16 posted 2003-05-29 09:53 AM







note to Janet Marie : you are so right! I have always pronounced "tinkling" as "tink/l/ing" 3 syllables. Possibly because I am in Canada...eh? lol. hugs!

Earth Angel
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17 posted 2003-05-29 10:13 AM


This was totally delightful, Chris!

I believe you may need one more syllable (beat) in the last line to be a tanka. But that really isn't important. The poem is lovely as it is!  

Warm hugs,
Linda

vandana
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18 posted 2003-05-29 10:39 AM


nice read
Professor Gloom
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19 posted 2003-05-29 12:06 PM


Although not actually a Tanka, by English standards.
The Japanese writing is not the same as ours
And it was characters, not syllables, they counted.
It was to make the writing look symmetrical.

XXXXX
OOOOOO
XXXXX
OOOOOO
OOOOOO

this would be more pronounced in the longer Choka
(which the Tanka is the shortest form)
How ever you read it, of say it,
The emotional input of this poem
Makes it worthy of the reading.

Enjoyed

Gloom

Nightshade
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20 posted 2003-05-29 12:34 PM


Thankyou Linda, vandana, & Gloom. There is so much to be learned about poetry. I wish at times I had been able to stay in school....then again...it's fun to be able to learn on my own time now. lol. You are all so sweet.
garysgirl
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21 posted 2003-05-29 01:46 PM


Chris, it's so good to hear that you have
the same Southern accent as I have.  LOL
It kind of surprised me, knowing that you're
from Canada. Do you talk slow, too? I've
lived in Florida for most of my life, but
was born in Alabama. The Alabamian accent
stayed with me. HaHa!! I have a true
Southern Drawl. That reminds me of a poem I
wrote about my Southern Drawl. I'm gonna go see
if I can find it. LOL
I love your poem, by the way. You said more
in the few words than I seem to be able to.
I love to try to write these short poems, though.

Bye sweet Lady  
Hugs,  
Ethel

Nightshade
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22 posted 2003-05-29 03:54 PM


Thankyou Ethel. Do we talk slowly in Canada? Hmmm...I don't really know...I would tend to say that we speak quickly. I do know that my penpal in Arkansas just loves my "Canandian accent" lol....even though we don't really have one. Be well my friend. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Bill Charles
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23 posted 2003-05-29 05:53 PM


Chris - a'hhhhh, now you're talking sweet words...

BC

Nightshade
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24 posted 2003-05-29 06:38 PM


Bill - many thanks from one hopeless romantic to another.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

carol
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25 posted 2003-05-29 09:22 PM


Nightshade, very nice write

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

Nightshade
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26 posted 2003-05-29 10:14 PM


carol, thankyou for reading and commenting~

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

paladin
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27 posted 2003-05-29 10:55 PM


It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.Amore vinces omni.

paladin

....a knight without armor

Nightshade
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28 posted 2003-05-30 11:56 AM


Thankyou dear paladin!!
suthern
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29 posted 2003-05-30 03:13 PM


There are advantages to ignorance. *G* I don't know the form, so I can only appreciate the poem... and it's beautiful! *S*
Nightshade
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30 posted 2003-05-30 03:54 PM


Thankyou Ruth - sweet of you to comment.hugs!

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

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