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Open Poetry #26
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2003-05-22 10:33 PM



Enclosed inside double pains
striking the hours after midnight
where time flies in a frenzied flurry
waiting to catch up.

Like connecting the dots
that have no numerical order.
I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in.
Absorbed in condensation, letting you trickle down slowly.

While I conjure up images in a timely fashion
giving pause to my reflection
leaves a film, filled with smoke in the mirror
fogging up my memories.

I wish to put my finger on it
pressing my hands against the glass
and recognize the feelings you magnified
clean sweeping away the residue.

Filling the air with dreams that transpire
but they, or I, am hidden behind two way images
wearing tears,in beads that perspire
escaping through the seeping of my pores.

~*~

© Copyright 2003 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
1 posted 2003-05-22 10:39 PM


Wow! So very touching! I really understood what you were feeling. Great write.

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-05-22 10:44 PM


Filling the air with dreams that transpire
but they, or I, am hidden behind two way images
wearing tears,in beads that perspire
escaping through the seeping of my pores.


Lori, this one hurts, Lady.  
Heart hugs to you,  
Ethel


QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
3 posted 2003-05-22 10:58 PM


*Like connecting the dots
that have no numerical order.
I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in.

the lines that makes a great write!!!

QjQ

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
4 posted 2003-05-22 10:58 PM


"...where time flies in a frenzied flurry....

...I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in.

...giving pause to my reflection....

...and recognize the feelings you magnified....

...but they, or I, am hidden behind two way images...."


hidden feelings, hidden power.

*smile*

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2003-05-22 11:00 PM


Would pick out a line to praise dear girl, but can't select just a single one.
Understood on a deep level...hugs.
TD

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2003-05-22 11:07 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Lori, this is so very heartfelt, sweet friend, my heart sends heart hugs your way as I too have been briaded with tears time and time again! (sad sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, I send angel hugs your way, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

7 posted 2003-05-23 03:20 AM



BluesSerenade,

This poem reminds me of an exquisite lady. Lovingly gazing at a picture of someone special, that she cares for dearly

Wistfully trying to bestow her thoughts amidst a heavy heart, shrouded in a perplexing blur

As she visualize's fantastic. Past occurrences and reminisces, of bygone days, bring about a gentle hush

Leaving her desire to recollect, gather and savor her connection, unmarred and complete

She is left enveloped in her own shroud of impassioned moisture. As the fleeting longings, she so pines for, coalesce. Coming into, and out of her focus


As always BluesSerenade,

Such a wonderful write!

Thanks for sharing it with us,


Richy


[This message has been edited by Richy (05-23-2003 04:15 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2003-05-23 04:14 AM


very emotional powerful piece Blues...I need to think awhile
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

9 posted 2003-05-23 08:33 PM


'Enclosed inside double pains
striking the hours after midnight
where time flies in a frenzied flurry
waiting to catch up.

Like connecting the dots
that have no numerical order.
I want so badly to write a verse and draw you in.
Absorbed in condensation, letting you trickle down slowly.'


The nonsensical bent works great here Blues.  A place of dreams and memories where pain is pleasure...go figure.  

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
10 posted 2003-05-23 08:37 PM


Especially like the opening stanza...enjoyed it throughout...

jwesley

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
11 posted 2003-05-23 08:38 PM


BluesSerenade - you write the blues well, I need to make one of these into a song...

BC

whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
12 posted 2003-05-23 10:10 PM


Wonderful piece, very much described the mood you were in. I enjoyed it alot

Julie

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
13 posted 2003-05-23 10:29 PM


Superb.

Love the way you take the double image and carry it, unfold new meanings, right through to the end.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2003-05-25 03:30 AM


still thinking
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
15 posted 2003-05-25 10:26 PM


Ethel~ Thank you, it hurts so bad, in a good way.  

QJ~ I'm glad you enjoyed those words, sometimes
it seems I'm getting no where fast.   Thanks.

Thereyougo Icebox~ Hidden feelings, hidden power!
I like that thought.  Thank you Sir~

TD~ Your kindness and understanding goes a long way for me.
Thank you always.

Noah~ Your angel hugs mean so much.  I appreciate you!

Richy~  When did you learn to read my mind?  Huh huh?
Thank you for your wonderful reply, I am flattered that
you read beyond my words.  Special hugs for you~

Dixie Darlin'~  Don't think too much, your head might start hurting.
I was just taking a steam bath and getting it all out of my system.  
You are so fun, thank you~

Duncan~ Where pain is pleasure?  That's a dangerous thought.
but don't get me started... I might say something I regret!
Jerking you again!     Thank you sincerely for your nice reply.

James~ Thank you for picking and choosing that verse,
and especially for leaving your comments for me.

BC~ Well that was sweet of you to say so, it would have to be nice and slow.
Don't you think?  Thanks.

Hi Julie~ I am glad you could feel my mood.  Thanks for stopping by to read.

Ed~ Ya know,  I took off on the two way mirror idea...and the fact that some days I feel I am on the outside looking in and/or vice versa!  Thank you for the superb, that's pretty heady stuff!  

Dixie~ How's your head?     

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (05-25-2003 10:28 PM).]

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