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Open Poetry #26
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JingleBear
Member
since 2003-05-08
Posts 76
Pennsylvania, USA

0 posted 2003-05-19 11:50 PM


Looking into the sky I see your face.
My arms ache to hold you.
Late into the night, I lay, thinking of you, wondering if we will ever be together.
Dreams of you hurt like a knife stabbing within.
Watching you from a far, I a wait your every graceful move,
Knowing I will not be disappointed in any way, for I see you as a perfect being.
I feel I could never be good enough,
Your cunning sense of self-confidence and beauty astound me.
Every moment with you, I am engulfed with bliss, laughter and the feeling of paradise.
Sweat pours from my skin, wanting you here with me.
People may say I am too young to be in love, but even babies feel pain.
For all that is known, I need you here and now, in my heart you will always be.
Despite what will happen, the feelings will never change.
Good times and bad, I will comfort you through...
The thought of hurting you never enters my mind,
For I would do anything to have you feel the same way for me as I do for you.

© Copyright 2003 JingleBear - All Rights Reserved
Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
1 posted 2003-05-19 11:55 PM


JingleBear, just perhaps this person feels the same way about you. You never know. This is so full of heart and I love to read things when all heart is poured into it. This is excellent! I love it.

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
2 posted 2003-05-20 12:07 PM


Heartfelt and touching, and good write.Welcome to passions.

Jason

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
3 posted 2003-05-20 12:20 PM


Touching write, welcome to Passions
you have a handle on writing this as a narrative, you may consider clipping some of the words that are not needed to add tempo to your lines.Meter is also important sometimes, to attract a reader to an interesting point in your story.Good luck and keep
up the creativity



[This message has been edited by ecrivan (05-20-2003 12:24 AM).]

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-05-20 12:32 PM


yep, an obsessive you are.
that's why you'll fit in so well here, many of us are obsessives

dani
Junior Member
since 2003-05-10
Posts 46

5 posted 2003-05-20 08:33 AM


i know exacltly how i feeland i'm young and new too so don't be scared
nobody
Junior Member
since 2003-05-19
Posts 43

6 posted 2003-05-20 08:42 AM


cool poem
hey miller

JingleBear
Member
since 2003-05-08
Posts 76
Pennsylvania, USA
7 posted 2003-05-20 04:25 PM


Aww thanks every one for their comments, especially dani!
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