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Open Poetry #26
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2003-05-16 09:45 AM


holes in his bucket
leaked emotions like
dirty linen cleaned
on the city streets
eagerly watched by
big scandalous eyes
that will tell stories
of how a man cried
feeling the slap of time
trying to divide
the lines from the mesh
picking black from black

© Copyright 2003 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2003-05-16 09:48 AM


Sudhir,
A difficult task, but a good write, enjoyed.

teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan
2 posted 2003-05-16 09:48 AM


It's a good poem, I don't entirely understand it.  But maybe that makes it even better.  You write well.

I don't know if today is a good day, or if yesterday was, or if tomorrow will be, but I'd like to think so.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2003-05-16 09:54 AM


You write of pain and hardship here my friend. The shame of having nothing but the will to carry on. This is what I have gotten from your gifted writing. If I am not correct...so be it....I still enjoyed it thoroughly. hugs, Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
4 posted 2003-05-16 09:55 AM


An excellent piece of poetry, and a hard one for a man to write. Every word of this poem communicates, adds to the wall of emotion it builds.

Here are my favorite lines of all:

holes in his bucket
leaked emotions like
dirty linen cleaned
on the city streets
eagerly watched by
big scandalous eyes
that will tell stories
of how a man cried
feeling the slap of time
trying to divide
the lines from the mesh
picking black from black

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2003-05-16 10:19 AM


I still cannot believe that English is not your first language!!!

Lovin' hugs,
Linda

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
6 posted 2003-05-16 11:31 AM


enjoyed
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2003-05-16 11:48 AM


SudhirMyFriend~

'holes in his bucket
leaked emotions'


Aching imagery within this thought~
Nicely done, sweet poet~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2003-05-16 12:29 PM


this is one of the best that I've seen from you my friend. . . there is so much that you've captured here. . .

well done. . .

---------------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
9 posted 2003-05-16 12:37 PM


A very nice write!!!!

It matters not how you answer, It matters only that i hear you.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2003-05-16 01:11 PM


awesome writing, awesome my friend!
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2003-05-16 01:33 PM


Sudhir:

you bare your soul here my friend
and air your laundry with much pride
amazing writing - but it always is . . .
xxoo

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
12 posted 2003-05-16 01:36 PM


Like Sue said, amazing.Like always.

Jason

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2003-05-16 08:17 PM


Sudhir

Such honesty in poetry touches me.  

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
14 posted 2003-05-16 08:48 PM


An excellent write,
Especially of the emotional makeup of man...
Very well done...ThisDiamond

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
15 posted 2003-05-20 03:27 AM


My dear friends,

I did not even dream that this would collect so many responses... but I guess the reader's eye knows more than the writer's thoughts and dreams...

Your thoughts and responses are much appreciated... thank you all so very much...

Regards
Sudhir

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