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Open Poetry #26
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2003-05-15 03:32 AM



Concrete

things have clung
to me
as ivied skin
placed upon the grit
where grains fly
in the desert
of time
behind I leave
the bones
of things
dead
but not forgotten
and maybe later
if I again
try to get
my feet wet
a speck
may stay
in grip
as cement


© Copyright 2003 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2003-05-15 07:18 AM


Life is all about getting our feet wet, isn't it?  A little concrete is a good thing - Just don't step tooooooooo deeply... Well penned, slick...
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

2 posted 2003-05-15 08:23 AM


So descriptive and deep.
This talks to the deepest part of the reader.
Eric

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2003-05-15 12:21 PM


what do we create in concrete?  makes me wonder. . .

excellent work helen. . .

------------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

one_thought
Junior Member
since 2003-04-03
Posts 23
just a state of mind
4 posted 2003-05-15 02:22 PM


Nice write
nice read also

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2003-05-15 02:27 PM


nice bit o writing
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
6 posted 2003-05-15 08:30 PM


Definitely a nice write, but more than that is the depths to which it takes one...
j.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
7 posted 2003-05-15 11:29 PM


Dang girl! You can write! This is poignant and you used an excellent theme to bring home your thoughts.  I'm keeping this one too

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Second Self
Junior Member
since 2003-05-15
Posts 15

8 posted 2003-05-15 11:34 PM


Very nice. Flows flawless without punctuation.


"www.miserymadebeautiful.com"

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
9 posted 2003-05-16 12:33 PM


another concrete write!!!

It matters not how you answer, It matters only that i hear you.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
10 posted 2003-05-16 01:31 AM


Slick loads up another arrow, drills another bullseye.....Well done!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2003-05-16 05:10 AM


I'm proud to know you
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