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Open Poetry #26
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Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050


0 posted 2003-05-13 05:47 PM




Just Begun


Quickly as I’m broke away
by gusty winds of strife
I am but a leaf that floats
along the river Life

Aimlessly adrift along
a predetermined course
Over forceful eddies and
still pockets of remorse

Spun into a whirlpool of
monotony and routine
Spilling over waterfalls
of violence yet unseen

Rapids at a confluence
now flux toward the tryst
Languishing in pools of
pleasure blanketed with mist

Surging out toward the sea
I feel the voyage done
Endless possibilities
My journey’s just begun



© Copyright 2003 Richy - All Rights Reserved
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
1 posted 2003-05-13 06:05 PM


Hello Richy

This was such an exquisite piece of writing and my favourite of yours so far, although I enjoy all your poems.  Your words put me in such a peaceful mood and left me feeling so calm and relaxed.(That was after laughing my head off and nearly splitting my sides after just reading your email which I'll reply to later!lol)  I am so glad you have found comfort here at PIP and you are so welcome by so many.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
2 posted 2003-05-13 06:37 PM


Ahhhh Richard, this is how I feel this minute.  I tried to sit down and write out the monotony and routine.  Better chance with a bottle of white out.  Nothing comes to pen today.  So, I guess my friend, you did it for me:

Spun into a whirlpool of
monotony and routine
Spilling over waterfalls
of violence yet unseen

Now, your last stanza...about those endless possibilities.  I have fleeting thoughts of those. Perhaps after this read, I will grasp the concept and keep it in mind.  The truth is I have just begun again.  And we all have a new beginning with each day.

Your poetry touches my heart so, particularly this evening.  I was sitting on the sofa, thinking about the mundane and unable to write about...I think it amazing the first poem I read here takes care of it for me.

But you are amazing...so why am I amazed?

-Patricia


Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2003-05-13 06:46 PM


You are such a wonderful addition to our poetic family. Your poetry, is p-o-e-t-r-y...
It truly appeals to all my senses--it captures my imagination!

Lovin' hugs,
EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (05-13-2003 06:47 PM).]

dreambuilder
Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319
caddyshack
4 posted 2003-05-13 06:59 PM


excellent write
I loved the visual:

Quickly as I’m broke away
by gusty winds of strife
I am but a leaf that floats
along the river Life

Aimlessly adrift along
a predetermined course
Over forceful eddies and
still pockets of remorse

Spun into a whirlpool of
monotony and routine
Spilling over waterfalls
of violence yet unseen

beautifully writen - look forward to more


Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

5 posted 2003-05-14 07:42 PM




Sue, your such a hoot! I’m sorry it took me so long to respond to your reply.

But I have been busier then a one eyed man at a Hooter’s convention!  

WoooHooo! lol

I’m very glad you enjoyed the poem... and thanks for such a nice reply, it was very touching...

Watch out for them Crikey Croc’s now!
Patricia, you are just too kind... really...

Thanks so much!

You hang in there my friend, I really believe the best chapters, are ahead of you...

So go out there and write them...

Oh, and don’t forget us little guys when you write your first dedication...


Earth Angel, wow! you sure know how to make a guy feel all warm and fuzzy inside!

Or is that outside?  Hmmmm..

OK, both!

Lovin’ hugs, back to you!


Dreambuilder, I am so glad you took the time to read and reply...

Thank You

Hey how’d you come up with your name?

What a classic!

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