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Open Poetry #26
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Your Smile (Honeybee's Challenge)
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Your Smile (Honeybee's Challenge) |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers 
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A home for the soul A companion in life We stayed together Through stumbles and strides I thought I knew you well Began to neglect you so Yet you always surprise me With an occasional feverish cold I look at you with despair With glasses oh-so-thick And a waistline to compete Never what I dreamt of you to be I cracked my brains and tried Give you model-like grace You stare back at me A cheery smile on chubby face All efforts thwarted now I see you in a whole new light Despondent to changes Always with a stubborn pride I made peace with myself So what if you are not beautiful? Optimistic and strong-willed You smile at me still "Deluding herself" "Again" _,,,^.^,,,_ Florence [This message has been edited by Mon Cherie (05-12-2003 11:18 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Mon Cherie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Looks like you met the challenge well.... Very nice!!!! Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Challenge well met..thanks for answering it. *Sighs* I can relate, us women are so hard on ourselves, aren't we? Take care, Melissa Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
so you finally wrote  which is kinda interesting since you havent written in months, except the diary you are probably keeping but this shows improvement after your hiatus...some of your previous work read kinda awkward in some places but this read smooth...perhaps because this is something close to the heart? anyway, i hope you gained some sort of closure from it, no matter how fleeting this closure may turn out to be...keep fighting the will battle?  well, i will be happy if someone considers my work "smooth" and so i hope it is a compliment to you likewise...  "Deluding herself" "Again" I see where you are coming from...but personally, it was kinda distracting, especially so as it contradicted somewhat with your last stanza in which you are talking about self-acceptance and making peace with yourself....i am thinking that this afternote shouldn't be there? hey, if you want to delude yourself, at least do it 100% write on... |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Justbleu: Thanks for reading, Bridgette. Honeybee: Yeah, Melissa... that's absolutely true. And I read in a recent Elle magazine that most women have a certain set of 'role models' of their times. In the past, the perfect figure would be one like Marilyn Monroe's, and she's voluptuous! Not stick-thin like the models these days... How I wish I were living in the past. Hehe... :Pkaile: Wow. Thanks for the analysis. Yes!!!! I FINALLY wrote!!! Gosh, it's been so long... Heheh SMOOTH?!?! I made an effort to make it rhyme, but no.... in the end I gave up... :P hehe, so this probably means that 'smooth' poems don't have to rhyme, yeah? :P A fleeting closure? You bet! Actually, the original piece didn't have that ending... :P the 'deluding herself again'... After holding on to the draft for a few days, I guess it became more of a mockery. Didn't feel as brave as the poem made me to be, heheh... thus the out-of-place ending. :P _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
actually i changed my mind about the "deluding herself again" bit because i thought you might be going by other intentions (which you have clearly listed in your reply)..plus, it left some sort of haunting effect on this reader and i think "haunting" is good.... i'm thinking: funny how you can have 2 poems with the addition/deletion of these 3 words and how clever this whole thingy is... and cool that this poem drew 2 drastically different responses from me and i am all the better from it... [This message has been edited by kaile (05-14-2003 12:52 AM).] |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Haha... Amazing, the kinda effect it left on you...  So, unsure of what you should think after reading... heheYeah, I agree about the haunting effect... I felt that too... I sorta think the ending seems unintentionally special. gosh, it wasn't even meant to be there... heh_,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Oh Florence, this is wonderful, sweet friend, I am so happy you're back as I much enjoy reading your poetry, smiles always seem to have some indefinite quality sometimes but abundance is always there, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Florence, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
very touching thoughts It matters not how you answer, It matters only that i hear you. |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Mistletoe Angel: Noah, I'm always so glad to see the encouragements you have for me. Thank you very much!QjQ: Thanks for stopping by to read... _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Florence: how brave of you and in this I see beauty nice job xxoo |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
littlewing: Thank you!! Yeah, I think beauty does comes in all forms... It would be a greater compliment to be praised for a beautiful personality...  _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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