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Open Poetry #26
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2003-05-09 05:37 AM



My sword is silv’ry smooth.
A streaking starlight
Bloodied crimson
By storms of straight
And wide eyed failure.

Isn’t it ironic,
How you see a flash
And grin again?
Thinking
Fireworks hit skies.

It’s all beautiful…
How my body’s
Beaten bruising,
Leaves you artwork
To enjoy!

Its your
Oblivion bliss,
And naive laughter

There’s war,
And all your beach fun,
Sand dune burials
Are fallen soldiers
Left behind.


- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)


[This message has been edited by GG (05-09-2003 05:42 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 GG - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-05-09 05:38 AM


very strong write
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
2 posted 2003-05-09 06:34 AM



Alyssa,

Go back to bed, grins...

Phew, eyes wide, at your imagery and symbolism...indeed, this is true.

Very powerful,

Hugs and love ya, Pat


GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
3 posted 2003-05-09 06:46 AM


Dixie,
thank you I guess you're right!

Pat,
you go back to bed!
Thanks for the comments. Glad to see you find it powerful.. and yes, ok ok, so my imagination does get the best of me sometimes. But its derived from truth!

Hugs and love,
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
4 posted 2003-05-10 05:38 AM


Hey G - where have you been missy?

miss you much . . .

you know - you brought me to about
four different places here . . .  

the battered bruises . . .

miss your writing Alyssa
xxoo

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2003-05-10 06:00 AM


Got no idea what you mean but the read was excellent.......moon, stars, sand dunes and all of that lovely metaphorical presentation.
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

6 posted 2003-05-10 11:08 AM


Wow...very powerful!
Eric

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
7 posted 2003-05-10 05:09 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Seems the whole fireworks can go both ways, dearest friend, it is a discouraging feeling and I hope now you have found a tournqiuet to heal the blood loss! (sigh) This is heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Alyssa, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
8 posted 2003-05-10 08:01 PM


littlewing,
I know I know, I've been soooo busy lately. I'd swear someone must have taken a good 10 hours off the day! I miss reading and writing too! Thanks for the comments and hope all is well for you!

Ethome,
lol thank you, I tend to have weird subjects, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll explain what its about...
the sword is about spiritual battle that we're always in. The flash is about the flash left when you fight what soeone else can't handle, but they see it as just fireworks because they are blind. The wounds I take for them aren't seen except as funny, and the sand dune burials are about them playing in the sand, y'know how you bury people.. this is saying they are burying actual dead bodies that were killed in battle.
that probably made less sense then the poem! lol, but thank you


- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
9 posted 2003-05-10 08:04 PM


Ericc,
thank you very much, I'm glad you think so

Noah,
oh I'm afraid to say but no matter how much love I have and is given to me, I'll still be bleeding because the love only gives me something more to fight for. And try as I may, I still get stabbed.. alot!! But yes, I do have comfort and I know the war is won Thank you!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

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