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Tim
Senior Member

since 1999-06-08

Posts 1794

0 posted 2003-05-04 12:44 PM

Is there a child within the cool
…of evening’s gentle breeze?
Laughing, playing in the night,
…soft whisper through the trees?
Jumping, running to and fro,
…catch me if you can,
Frolicking in glow of moon,
…beyond the touch of man?
As starlight kisses on the boughs,
…sweet grace of Sisters seven,
Smiles down upon a child at play
…beneath far orbs of heaven,
Venus, star of eventide,
…in full celestial glory,
Sings forth her madrigals immortal;
…sings forth her goddess story,
Hear my words O’ playful child,
…as through the trees you swing,
Laughing, playing in the night,
…as in joy I hear you sing,
Beware of he who sleeps below,
…hears not your tender song,
Heed not the call of mortal man,
…seek not of mortal’s long,
Forever and forevermore,
…play softly in the trees.
Beneath the watchful eyes of gods,
…within cool evening’s breeze,

[This message has been edited by Tim (05-04-2003 04:40 PM).]

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

1 posted 2003-05-04 12:46 PM

Wow... I really love this...

Is there a child within the cool
…of evening’s gentle breeze?
Laughing, playing in the night,
…soft whisper through the trees?
Jumping, running to and fro,
…catch me if you can,
Frolicking in glow of moon,
…beyond the touch of man?

Just a beautiful beginning, and a wonderful middle, and an excellent ending. The ending was the best part, and to me the ending is the most important. I really enjoyed reading this.

Kielo

I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing.

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

2 posted 2003-05-04 01:15 AM

Hi Tim we haven’t met yet, I just happened upon your poem right now... And hey man... it was the bomb! lol

No seriously, it is a wonderful poem... and it is always so cool to me, to read a poem that feels like I could have wrote it myself...

You know, the same (great... lol) style... and all...

Oh boy, I hope you don’t read some of my poetry and say, “What the heck is this guy comparing me to?” lol

Hey well take care, and I’ll be looking out for some more of your work...

Man what a great poetry site!!

Wooo Hooo!

lol

Richy

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

3 posted 2003-05-04 07:25 AM

Evening's cool breezes sound pretty inviting to me, Tim... You're a master, my friend...

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2003-05-04 08:33 AM

We've been under clouds for the last few evenings...but I did have a dream last night of counting stars...

look what I wake up to...the heavens...

thank you, Sir.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2003-05-04 08:42 AM

Tim
Is her name Jane? LOL Wonderful write my
friend.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

6 posted 2003-05-04 02:47 PM

Oh Tim this is absolutely wonderful! I enjoyed every word ..... and the Pleiades too ...
Love, Margherita

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2003-05-04 03:26 PM

Absolutely beautiful Tim...
You have a gentle loving way of expressing yourself.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

8 posted 2003-05-04 04:33 PM

Nice steady atmosphere -- no speed-bumps....liking this one all the way through.

....but check those apostrophe's...at least one too many....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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