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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2003-05-03 12:05 PM

White Smoke

I said I would
    remember when winter
was gentle and the
sun met horizons  with
passion

to kneel on sacred
ground    offer
      you a lullaby,
say  goodbye

would you feel my touch--?

taste my tears--

when    earth awoke
   stretching   spring {again}
sweeping the cave in  my heart
replacing shades       of what
might have been

--
shutting      windows
of  innocence   and dried flowers
one by one  back -- to dark recess,
where   rumbling  thunder
r o l l s over      greener  hills   &

emotions   invade   the room

Tomorrow anger and passion
will give life
  perhaps in
raging flames
--
and for an
instant  I will
remember   easy smiles,
    shared laughter      &

love

     before tomorrow, before
breathing becomes
         all I have

I no longer search for you
  upon damp earth  or relics
of    boxes     {this is     all I can give}

---

I said I would come
when winter
was gentle   and slumber stirs me
---

{only} in a rising
of

white smoke

---

In loving memory  hauntingly beautiful

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine

I will remember you

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes (05-03-2003 12:17 AM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

1 posted 2003-05-03 12:31 PM

hauntingly beautiful...how fitting for all your work greeneyes

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

2 posted 2003-05-03 12:36 PM

What a wistful feeling I get from this. And bittersweet.

Another beauty.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-05-03 12:38 PM

(big hugggssssssss) Oh Lauren, I believe all of us have to go through that first phase upon memory, we tend to get either pretty angry or just burst into so many tears and need a shoulder to lean on! (wipes tears) I know this special somebody you speak of will always shine in your memory and will always be blessed by your friendship, God Bless You, and........YAY!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON 5000, YAY!!! (does happy dance) God Bless You, sweet friend, you are a true delight of a friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (05-03-2003 12:39 AM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2003-05-03 12:40 PM

Uh oh, I just noticed you are just 4 short of 5000!

Oh well, we'll all celebrate early because we just love you too much, yay!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

5 posted 2003-05-03 01:09 AM

Lauren:

have missed you here . . .

this has a foggy raining feel to it
kind of like after the storm

bittersweet
xxoo

Richy
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 3050

6 posted 2003-05-03 05:18 AM

Wow, very very touching...

I am in awe...

Your talent is exceptional!

I'm sorry for your loss

Sincerely,

Richy

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

7 posted 2003-05-03 07:42 AM

This is glorious...and I am frowning at me.

Everytime I read you I wonder why I don't read you more often.

(uh oh...grin? may be studying YOU next)

You've got that spacing thing going on that emphasizes the phrasing nicely-reminding me of another favorite poet here.

Congrats, Lauren, on 5,000.

OH.

I should actually be thanking you, methinks.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

8 posted 2003-05-03 08:36 AM

Quite deep, quite beautiful.

White smoke...like a smouldering...

Enjoyed, Hugs and congratulations,

Pat

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

9 posted 2003-05-03 08:52 AM

Wow! Lauren, this was absolutely wonderful! Such a beautiful whispering flow to these haunting sentiments. Just lovely.

Congratulations on 5,000!

Best wishes,
/Kit

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

10 posted 2003-05-03 08:55 AM

Tomorrow anger and passion
will give life
  perhaps in
raging flames
--
and for an
instant  I will
remember   easy smiles,
    shared laughter      &

love

     before tomorrow, before
breathing becomes
         all I have

Lauren, though this is sad, it's also beautiful.
And congratulations on 5000.

Hugs,

Ethel

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

11 posted 2003-05-03 09:03 AM

Lauren..your writing continues to leave me breathless...and in awe!
Yes..hauntingly beautiful...
Congrats on 5000 sweet lady.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

12 posted 2003-05-03 09:05 AM

Umm ummm beautifully haunting and so well expressed.....A very enjoyable read.....I got lost in it!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

13 posted 2003-05-03 09:13 AM

I said I would
    remember when winter
was gentle and the
sun met horizons  with
passion

to kneel on sacred
ground    offer
      you a lullaby,
say  goodbye

would you feel my touch--?

taste my tears--

Homage paid and tears tasted... I am touched with my own memories and understand

excellent

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

14 posted 2003-05-03 09:18 AM

What wonderful images depict something so rare and elusive.
Wishing well the rising of white smoke...a signal to the sky to open. ThisDiamond

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

15 posted 2003-05-03 11:01 AM

Bravo Lady Lauren~ What a perfect ending, I could picture the white smoke all stirring...and the love and missing in your words. You are such a fine poetess, elegant and with so much style, always your poetry enraptures me.

Congrats on 5000! ~special hugs for you~

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

16 posted 2003-05-03 11:12 AM

Oh, how beautiful....wistful, sad, but beautiful.

And another lesson from Greeneyes, in how to write.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

rosepetals25

Member Elite

since 2000-05-31

Posts 3076
PA

17 posted 2003-05-03 11:34 AM

First, congrats on 5000

Second, wow. You just get better and better chickie. You amaze me with how you can bring such emotion and beauty to your words... I'm SO envious of you *chuckles* I GREATLY enjoyed.. as always.

Hugs,
Tara

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

18 posted 2003-05-04 10:52 AM

before tomorrow, before
breathing becomes
         all I have

I no longer search for you
  upon damp earth  or relics
of    boxes     {this is     all I can give}

---

I said I would come
when winter
was gentle   and slumber stirs me
---

{only} in a rising
of

white smoke

=====================

To say that I adore your poetry is an understatement...its hard to put into words how your writing makes me feel...how it soothes and heals the deepest unrequite inside of me...but then I realize, I dont need to put it all into words...for you already just know.

"In loving memory hauntingly beautiful"
yessssssss ... oh yes... exquisitely so....

You're the best I've ever felt ...
it's so wrong not to be with you.
It's getting harder to stay away,
it stops my heart just to be with you.

SH

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

19 posted 2003-05-04 10:56 AM

Greeneyes - and this is hauntingly beautiful, only as you can do...

BC

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

20 posted 2003-05-05 12:34 PM

Thank you all for the kindness and support in replying to my poems, I have been both humbled and graced.....Too say I have found a second home would indeed be the understatement.....Thank you again, with all my heart....

muwwwaaahhhsss and hugsssss

Lauren~

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine

I will remember you

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

21 posted 2003-05-05 07:39 PM

Lauren, Congratulations on your 5,000 posts. An awesome accomplishment. And what a piece you have written to commemorate it. Fabulous!!

Hugs, Marti

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. A.Einstein

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

22 posted 2003-05-05 09:16 PM

there is only one word that will do for this. . .

wonderful. . .

congratulations my friend. . . you have indeed grown. . . so much over the past years. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

23 posted 2003-05-05 09:26 PM

Lauren, for your 5000th, this is certainly
befitting. Congratulations and well done.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

24 posted 2003-05-05 11:01 PM

Very nice...James

jennirey
Member

since 2002-01-24

Posts 198
North Richland HillsTx

25 posted 2003-05-05 11:33 PM

All I can say Is Wow!
Congrats On 5000 Posts!
Jen

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