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Open Poetry #26
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-05-02 12:00 PM


Untangle the notes
So twined together as they fell
To hard checked floor among table legs
And humans scattered around
In an order of dis
Reflecting the absorb
That ends in cacophony
Untrue to intent

Leave me a lazy sax and Billie
To gravel the sounds addiction left
Marked on her throat and our hearts
And I’ll sweep up later…

The litter of my little mind
Never knowing truly the depth of pain
Or the driven rain cried ten thousand times in tears
Of closed doors and segregated rooms
Lost loves and voices…
Always the voices inside
That laugh at the edges of a needle
Or a bottle mixed
And leave you to sweat

Cry them for me
But pull the strings
and unravel this noise
Isn’t it time to go home
Time for the unknown

Leave me those chords.
I’ll tie up my own package
And someday,
When I am intelligent enough
I’ll unwrap it again
as streams of smoke rise
from the fires within
And listen to the sounds
Crisp

As they break
My heart
Again

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (05-02-2003 01:00 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-05-02 12:09 PM


It's not often that I get to cry
over such a write...
I hope no one walks into the office...

sometimes we think our life is tough,
but we keep applying the bandaids,
especially tight,
when we know someone else
has known a deeper hell...



Library

and of course, it should be
in Reflections, as well...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-05-02 12:17 PM


I love it when you listen...
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2003-05-02 01:06 PM


This is a hard rain, my friend
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2003-05-02 01:10 PM


Ahh yes, Cpat. Let Billie tell a tale of "them that's got shall get...them that's not..shall lose." This is outstanding writing and going directly into my library. Awesome!! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-05-02 01:45 PM




Oh sad,

You write angst so well....


Hugs to you, Pat  


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (05-02-2003 01:46 PM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2003-05-02 03:47 PM


Is this about my old girlfriend Billie..James
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2003-05-02 04:55 PM


I'm torn..wishing I was a sax or Billie..very 'bluesy' sir.
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

8 posted 2003-05-02 10:14 PM


'Leave me a lazy sax and Billie
To gravel the sounds addiction left
Marked on her throat and our hearts
And I’ll sweep up later…'

Ron, I've read this several times (because I liked it, not because I didn't get it...lol) and honestly...some of the best writing I've come across in a long time....
I could've quoted the entire piece.  (Where is JM anyway..lol).  Really excellent write here bud.  


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2003-05-02 10:24 PM


Ron...

"The litter of my little mind
Never knowing truly the depth of pain
Or the driven rain cried ten thousand times in tears
Of closed doors and segregated rooms
Lost loves and voices…
Always the voices inside
That laugh at the edges of a needle
Or a bottle mixed
And leave you to sweat"

This tears and splinters and mends...and I don't know what to say really except...you wrote from a deep place that understands this...so, hugs to you, my friend.

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
10 posted 2003-05-02 11:43 PM


I too know of these feeling.....thank you for sharing yours....hugsssss
Lauren~

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine

I will remember you

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2003-05-03 08:09 AM


The litter of my little mind
Never knowing truly the depth of pain
Or the driven rain cried ten thousand times in tears

================================


damn......................


the moth comes back and you knock the words right out of me...........

(thank you)



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2003-05-03 09:00 AM


This is a hard-hitting and visual piece, that left me feeling the emotions as deeply as they were written.  An excellent write. Very much enjoyed the flow and power in this, Ron.  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

13 posted 2003-05-03 09:16 AM


'The litter of my little mind
Never knowing truly the depth of pain
Or the driven rain cried ten thousand times in tears
Of closed doors and segregated rooms
Lost loves and voices…
Always the voices inside
That laugh at the edges of a needle
Or a bottle mixed
And leave you to sweat'

Just damn...(again)  

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
14 posted 2003-05-03 10:30 AM


.....may I join you? Headed toward the steeo NOW.....

Well captured, my friend.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-05-03 10:42 AM


Leave me those chords.
I’ll tie up my own package
And someday,
When I am intelligent enough
I’ll unwrap it again
as streams of smoke rise
from the fires within
And listen to the sounds
Crisp

As they break
My heart
Again



Oh yes, Capt. Ron, this kind does make you think.....and you told what we think so well, as only you can.
Hugs,
Ethel

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
16 posted 2003-05-03 12:52 PM


" . . . all of me . . . why not take allll of me . . .  cant you seee . . .I'm no good with out youuuu . . . "

Loved this Ron
goodness now you got me on a Lady Day
kick here . . .

xxoo

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