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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-05-01 02:29 PM

Tumble edged
Grey concrete heavy
Walk the ledges
High above heads
Gutter rats scramble
Below

Step off the curb
And jar leg bones
With your own mass

It is just one more step
Another in passing
Blacktopped paths
Don’t forgive knees
Barked to bleed
With grit

Hey you!
Pass me by
I’ll not need a hand
And can’t stand
To let you see me
Cry

Tumble edge
Grumble pledge

I’ll do it alone

Step off the curb
But beware
The heights
Ridiculous

Snap joint
This joined
Heart

Stop

And cross
In genuflect
Maybe god
Will save
Us

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

1 posted 2003-05-01 02:36 PM

Oh my... your poetry certainly does touch something so deep within..

The imagery, fantastic!

Every stanza/phrase so important in this I cannot isolate any for favorite. A deep sigh for your ability to capture feelings, and to cause one to feel, so well.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

2 posted 2003-05-01 02:43 PM

awesome writing..gritty

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2003-05-01 02:46 PM

Not one word wasted....excellent!!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2003-05-01 03:20 PM

Ron...Seems it's not heights you fear, but falling. Won't offer hand, but hug!

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

5 posted 2003-05-01 04:17 PM

'Step off the curb
But beware
The heights
Ridiculous

Snap joint
This joined
Heart

Stop

And cross
In genuflect
Maybe god
Will save
Us'

I like this Ron. Think I understand it, least from where I sit. Not crazy about heights myself.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2003-05-01 05:33 PM

Tumble edge
Grumble pledge

I’ll do it alone

~*~

you need to get
out
of my mirror,
Sir...

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

7 posted 2003-05-01 06:51 PM

enjoyed

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

8 posted 2003-05-01 06:51 PM

This was awesome....But what does genuflect mean?

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

9 posted 2003-05-01 10:38 PM

(smiles) Like Scott Stapp sings, "I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking 'Maybe six feet isn't so far down!" (big hugggsssssss) Sometimes you just need to fall in grace, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

10 posted 2003-05-04 02:03 AM

Desolate but not hopeless, abstract but not obscure. A fine line to cut, and you did it well.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

11 posted 2003-05-04 02:56 AM

Just maybe He'll save us from ourselves, and our own downfall...won't that be nifty?...good conjecture here

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

12 posted 2003-05-04 02:58 AM

"and jar....
with your own mass"

yes yes yes yes yes

we
do

Ron, you are the cop's flashlight in Lover's Lane

ljossberir
Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 81
Ny, USA

13 posted 2003-05-04 05:00 AM

very moving, the gritty,rough language did as well in creating the picture as the outstanding imagery did. No nonsense, very trim and yet powerful.

-matt

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

14 posted 2003-05-04 05:30 AM

I'm out of words...
this is soo good!
with every word I notice more and understand more and.. yea this is good!
wow...

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

15 posted 2003-05-04 07:57 AM

Grab the nearest rope - tie a knot in the end - and hold on tight... Nice write, as usual Cap'n Ron...

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