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Open Poetry #26
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-05-01 11:49 AM


In mirror framed
a portrait of my decline
canvas loose and tattered
over bonework

An uninspired
image cold and distant
rendered by bristles
of a life unkind

The oils dulled and worn
lifeless eyes cry for sleep
following gaze in wretched plea
for restoration

**Well I'm not sure this quite fits the challenge as you intended. I originally tried the letter to my body but had to scrap it or I'd have had to sue myself for libel. The one I've posted quickly degenerated into not only a vision of body but one of soul so I abrubtly stopped it after the third verse. Ah self image such a beaufitul thing...yeesh**

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (05-01-2003 11:50 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
1 posted 2003-05-01 11:56 AM



You've answered the challenge well, you've gone above and beyond with this unique piece.  I'm glad that you answered, you're such a talented poet and always seem to convey emotion with such depth, power with adding a unique flair.  I like the theme you used and the first and last stanzas really hit home.  I'm saving this in my library...you're just too good for words.

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-05-01 12:12 PM


Self portraits and or letters to our bodies... hmmm.. I think I'll stay hidden..lol

it does however, look to me like you answered well...


Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
3 posted 2003-05-01 01:38 PM


Awesome piece!
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
4 posted 2003-05-01 02:06 PM


Raph,

Loved the poem and can relate. But, I especially love your sense of humor in the paragraph following it.


Hugs, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
5 posted 2003-05-01 02:19 PM


Melissa thanks for the challenge haven't been writing lately. Also as always thanks for the kind words

Thanks Cpat I only come out at night

Thanks Brad

Thanks Pat sometimes you just have to laugh. And looking at my reflection I usually do..in between screams of what the.....?! Thank you thank you I'll be here all week remember to tip your waitress.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2003-05-01 02:20 PM


Wow !! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2003-05-01 03:04 PM


Dear Raffaele, I think your creation is unique in its powerful expression ... you are so young and rather hard on yourself, no narcissistic shade here ...
a very inspired poet for sure!
Devi essere gentile con te stesso un po' di più!
tvb - che significherà mai?
Margherita

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-05-01 09:02 PM


Thanks alot Chris  

Yes Margherita very young but self depreciation is a gift. I'm a natural. grin

Lo so, ho provato di essere piu gentile ma con la vita mie no e felice. Che vol dire
tvb - che significherà mai?

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (05-01-2003 10:06 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2003-05-01 10:53 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Oh my gosh, I think you did a wonderful job detailing your self-portrait, sweet friend, a fine daguerrotype that should fit proudly on the alter of your hearts bookshelf! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, well-done, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Raphael, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
10 posted 2003-05-01 11:01 PM


dagguerotype? I prefer to think of myself as an Andre Kertesz grin..thanks Noah
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2003-05-02 06:25 PM


Raph:

brilliant write - as always

(backing away from this challenge myself)

brave soul you are . . .

hmmm . . .  the uninspired I would
have to argue with you about . . .

nice job
xxoo

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
12 posted 2003-05-02 11:26 PM


Sue thanks, if yu want to back away back away from my face it's harmful to your health and I don't want you to get hurt..
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