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Open Poetry #26
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JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

0 posted 2003-05-01 11:15 AM


Another early spring day.
Cold, cloudy, but green.
Not like the other May days,
those in the past,
warm and inviting, cheerful.
This first day of May
brings reflection on the past.
Three weeks till my thrity ninth year,
three weeks to start the end
of more than three decades of life.
Relecting on all I know
a short reflection I admit
chuckling mirthlessly to myself.
almost fourty years
most of them spent besotted.
I remember past loves,
past lusts and past hates.
Hate is such a strong word,
and I realize I've never experienced it.
Ah, a good thought that...
I've angered, ranted, railed,
but hated?  Thank the gods, no.
Mistakes, I've made my share.
Too many to recall
and more of which I don't know.
I think back at all I've learned,
and confused I wonder why
it only makes me less informed.
Every fact I covet, creates more questions.
Every opinion I voice, causes more doubt.
I am an adult, grey hair coming in,
and more insecure now than as a child.
When does certainty paint its portrait
in my mind and on my soul?
Why does this cold, dreary spring day
bring doubt, self-defeat, and loathing?
Why not provide inspirtion to grow,
to learn? To embrace life? Spring you know..
I stare into the clouds
a mirror to my mind. Clouded, convoluted.
Almost fourty years of toil and triumph
and I am still here wondering
and wandering through life.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

© Copyright 2003 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-05-01 11:18 AM


introspection and the lack of answers we all seem to have to questions that most ask of themselves at different times...all well presented and in a form that also creates the mood of pensive...

good stuff JP... I enjoyed.

and you know..I agree sometimes you just have to take things nto your own hands and make them happen. (chuckling)

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
2 posted 2003-05-01 11:20 AM


wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean? Know what I mean?

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
3 posted 2003-05-01 11:21 AM


Rather disturbing isn't it????
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
4 posted 2003-05-02 09:48 AM


What is disturbing, that our spring is winterlike?  That I'm still clueless after 39 years or that I am going to be 39?

All of the above I think...

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-05-02 12:53 PM


Enjoyed this JP...
This spring has been very cool and wet..
and I think most of us do some soul searching as our birthday approaches.
Good stuff here.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2003-05-02 01:04 PM


JP, this breaks my heart, but does make me feel better knowing I'm not the only one. This is really touching. It seems to be the focus of my muse as I myself get older and the years go on, disappearing into photo albums, leaving me with no destination as of yet...still wandering.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2003-05-05 12:02 PM


I do know hatred... and that's unfortunate, because just as love ties you to someone, so does hate. *S* I had good reasons... but as a friend pointed out so aptly, that just gave him continued power over me... years after he'd died.

I liked these ponderings very much, JP... even though I've several more years and still just as many questions. *S*

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2003-05-05 05:34 PM


Why does this cold, dreary spring day
bring doubt, self-defeat, and loathing


I want to know the answer to that, also...

Well if you think turning 40 bothers one, try being over 50.  It does get easier to accept once you get over those decade numbers.

~smiling
M


vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
9 posted 2003-05-05 06:32 PM


enjoyed it

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2003-05-05 07:05 PM


Mistakes, I've made my share.
Too many to recall
and more of which I don't know.
I think back at all I've learned,
and confused I wonder why
it only makes me less informed.
Every fact I covet, creates more questions.
Every opinion I voice, causes more doubt.
I am an adult, grey hair coming in,
and more insecure now than as a child.
When does certainty paint its portrait
in my mind and on my soul?
================================


I believe the fact that you can so honestly question yourself and your reasons, speak to the fact that you have learned from your mistakes and are still growing and comming into your own. Some of us take longer to find our stride... its honest, sincere, self exploration like this that keeps up from just standing still in complacentcy.
Your words touch places deep poet sir.
Well done JP.
jm

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
11 posted 2003-05-05 08:43 PM



Garsh... thanks y'all...

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2003-05-05 08:49 PM


JP...I've had many springs and things, and thoughts so like your own, I still have..I think it only means that growing never stops.  Enjoyed this!
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
13 posted 2003-05-05 08:55 PM


JP - time goes by quickly, as we all have found out. And you speak of this time well...

BC

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
14 posted 2003-05-28 07:42 PM



You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
15 posted 2003-05-28 07:44 PM


had to find you to add you to my library..

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
16 posted 2003-05-28 08:23 PM






(big hugggsssssss) I think we are all constantly wondering and wandering, but there is no reason to be ashamed of it, for gray clouds have much meaning behind them, especially when it rains, think of these days as rejuvenation of how the surroundings can change! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, I send many angel hugs your way, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet JP, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
17 posted 2003-05-30 04:58 AM



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
18 posted 2003-05-30 09:43 AM


Thirty nine isn't a bad year - You'll wear it well, JP - and reflect much before forty peers back...
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