navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #26 » six feet then
Open Poetry #26
Post A Reply Post New Topic six feet then Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-04-29 03:36 AM


five seats down
a man had died
no one guessed
that he had gone
he lay there like
another day
he cradled his head
on the bar

five seats down
we laughed at him
"give him shots on me"
and a dozen oyster shots
and then
we said, "oh let him be..."

"How many times can you say
this might have been you at the bar?"
We let the dead, bury the dead--
as his buddy hiccupped twice.

And no it wasn't nothin' nice
to hear such wretching of the gut--
the bartender came to him quick--
bitters offered in a cup.

Five seats down from me they sweat--
least I noticed that one did.
The other never even twitched
as his buddy belched in glitch
of a gulley 'tween his legs
so I moved a sixth seat down...

I watch the calvary in come
taxi drivers in the door
calling "CAB?"
they had come for
the twins of vomit
on the floor
and left as everybody laughed--
(we called each other taxi cab)
and we thought that wit...

six seat then the cellphone rang-
I watched him fumble, answering.
By the token of his ring,
I reckoned he spoke to his wife.
"Sorry babe." I heard him say.
"Come git me and I will explain."
"Uh huh. I saw him yesterday."
"Baby, please come get me now..."

She picked him up in ten minutes
and he left his friend as keep.
oh my god so innocent--
at least, that's how they look asleep.
Then I saw the pale of him
even in his mane of gray
he had left one eye open-gaze;
the other winked as if to say:

"Five feet down I sit from you."
dream a little dream of me...
but it took another stool
to understand we dig six feet.


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (04-29-2003 05:54 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-04-29 03:56 AM


damn
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-04-29 03:58 AM


yep
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
3 posted 2003-04-29 04:20 AM


you have this way of leaving me speechless...
I guess you don't know that I read every post of yours I see.. and its because of poems like this that I do...
but always.. you always leave me speechless.. its not fair!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2003-04-29 06:33 AM


Gotta hate it when that happens....reminds me of a thing..Hmmm      Perhaps later.

I do hope that you keep your writings...all of them. Could be time to do something with them.

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
5 posted 2003-04-29 09:10 AM


speechless, I truly am...

you are such a remarkable writer...

regards,
sudhir

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2003-04-29 09:40 AM





Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2003-04-29 09:43 AM


six feet then...


vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2003-04-29 12:34 PM



Karen...just...WOW!
There are no other words for this.
BIG Hugs to you, friend.

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

zenny
Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 371
Belgium
9 posted 2003-04-29 12:51 PM


You leave me speechless with your write.  You have the gift of doing that

Hugs, Kelly

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2003-04-29 03:42 PM


well, you left me sitting here in my chair with six minutes of stunned silence hanging in thin air
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2003-04-29 05:20 PM


WOW Karen!I can't find the words to describe how your words here made me feel and I feel that "WOW" just isn't enough and doesn't cut it...but you've left me speechless me sis.

You are an incredible writer my dear.

How I miss you. e me when you can ok?

Maree

junemac
Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005
uk
12 posted 2003-04-29 05:26 PM


amazing !!!!! i wish i could write like this.
hugs june x

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
13 posted 2003-04-29 05:30 PM


It will make me pay more attention next time I am a few seats down...and I feel one of those nights coming on.
*s
M

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #26 » six feet then

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary