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Open Poetry #26
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-04-28 07:42 PM



I stood before the burn barrel

Watching the many yellow tongues
licking the chill from the evening
The swirling myriad orange sparkings
spiraling up through the night fliers
and dying, just short of the sky

I stood before the burn barrel

Feeling breezes from the burning past
blowing my hair in the hot draft
dissipating my memories into the air
along with my billowing breath
and becoming indistinguished

I stood before the burn barrel

Marveling at the jumble of fuel within
and how quickly it became consumed
The leaves curling and blackening
in the maelstrom boiling inside
the books, chapters and pages of life




[This message has been edited by wranx (04-28-2003 10:53 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
1 posted 2003-04-28 07:46 PM


Having experienced much of my writings and art taken from me and burned I was able to feel the pain in this poem....It is like having a part of you taken away never to return again...Sadness fills my soul...

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2003-04-28 08:28 PM


You just get better and better. I have stood by that burn barrel, thought those thoughts, and not been perceptive enough to formulate them and write them down.....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-04-28 08:38 PM


Wranx,

I was wondering where this was going;
Good imagery and emotive;

"and becoming indistinguished"

The last line surprised me and don't know how literal this is....

Could be a love gone bad, or a poet who wants no notoriety or something I have yet to been able to read in it.

In any case, choosing isolation myself, personally, it is just as well my poetry writing is a hobby...though I do try to improve...won't have to be concerned abt.famous...or, well-known,

and love letters and all paper products enjoyed together (rings and jewelry adds a nice color to the flames by the way) burn just as well...

I enjoy your writing.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-04-28 09:08 PM


Hey, when it gets too hot, wanna take a break, dance in the woods with me under a canopy of shooting stars?

(of course you know I'll keep this one tucked away, just in case something/someone makes it go up in smoke)

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2003-04-28 09:30 PM


Watching the many yellow tongues
licking the chill from the evening
The swirling myriad orange sparkings
spiraling up through the night fliers
and dying, just short of the sky

Wow !! Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
6 posted 2003-04-28 10:51 PM


I stood before the burn barrel

Marveling at the jumble of fuel within
and how quickly it became comsumed

Dear wranx,
You manage to make such good use of the metaphor and even better use of the analogy.

Your writing is easy to get caught up in,
the burning feels so real and warm from all sides.

  Jolly good!

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
7 posted 2003-04-28 10:59 PM


I knew I missed reading here for a reason....

Bravo sir...


Lauren~

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine

I will remember you

dreambuilder
Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319
caddyshack
8 posted 2003-04-28 11:54 PM


this was an excellent write
one that I believe every reader will get something for themselves as well as an admiration for your writing

I regret much of the consumed time
yet - I wish my past could be made to ashes so as not to continually haunt me

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
9 posted 2003-04-29 12:00 PM


YOW!

had me going along
not sure to where

but then
I should have known

this seems different
dredging up the old chants

love it Ed

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2003-04-29 12:08 PM


(smile)

felt like I was there...


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
11 posted 2003-04-29 12:11 PM


wranx - looked in that burn barrel, but never thought of it as you have expressed...

BC

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
12 posted 2003-04-29 02:43 AM


I really did feel those flames . . .

amazing write
let the flames fly to the sky . . .
xxoo

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2003-04-29 04:06 AM


descriptive and vivid! an amazing write, as usual...burning leaves...yea...*off to daydreaming*
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
14 posted 2003-04-29 02:01 PM


As I read, was thinking of the fuel that is within us...how it can at times burst forth to blazes amazing.  Excellent descript of the burn barrel. TD
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2003-04-29 03:04 PM



What a love/hate relationship
this poem has...the double entendres,
the innuendo...

the sound of the cracklings...

Thank you Wranx...
for showing us how to build
a fire...

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
16 posted 2003-04-29 03:37 PM


Well that sure was descriptive as heck!  I felt like I was right there, but then again, you are a favorite poet of mine, and I am getting to expect nothing less.  No pressure there  



[This message has been edited by Mysteria (04-29-2003 03:38 PM).]

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
17 posted 2003-04-29 05:12 PM


enjoy your read
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
18 posted 2003-04-29 06:36 PM


Well written, Wranx and as always, with your unique perspective!

Cor

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
19 posted 2003-04-29 06:44 PM


Amazing write!
I'm so pleased I didn't miss this one!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
20 posted 2003-04-29 10:02 PM


Vivid write Ed loved this
poetSeaMaiden
Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107

21 posted 2003-04-29 10:32 PM


Oh yeah, burn baby burn!

I was THERE with you man!  I love FIRE!!!

This was awesome, you sure have a way with words, but then I'm sure you already know that!

~ Poets cry with words, not always tears, you see.  ~ PoetSeaMaiden

Ivy Rose
Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300
MA, USA
22 posted 2003-04-29 11:22 PM


wranx...This was an extremely well-crafted poem. The images and the clear, poetic language intermingling to bring the reader to the intensity of emotion that I believe you were leading us to. Thought this poem one of the very best I've read. ***Ivy Rose
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