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Open Poetry #26
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Leaving Rita's
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Leaving Rita's |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Well, I thought, I’ve had my chuckle And been relegated to the role Of the old drunk who walked out. I laid a five on the counter While Jean took the kid back into the kitchen And headed for the door Think the kid was going to earn the beer Going on my tab and maybe later I’d drop back in and see how he fared With Rita and her move it or lose it demeanor. I headed towards the river No intentions of doing anything but walking And trying to decide what next. I’d been here several weeks now And while Savannah was a place for strange I didn’t quite feel the fit I had hoped. I wasn’t quite Yankee and not a son of the south So I often got the polite nod and genteel charm Reserved in many places for tourists. I was tired of pretense. I found a bench and sat Watching nothing and seeing everything As the day went about its normalcy Revealing fine hazed cracks in the glaze We all coat ourselves with Before entering the kiln of workday Live a day Existence. Maybe… It was time to move on Or make a decision to stay. I chuckled to myself Gathering a few strange glances from A couple walking by, Their arms full of shopping bags Let them wonder I thought… I do. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I found a bench and sat Watching nothing and seeing everything As the day went about its normalcy Revealing fine hazed cracks in the glaze We all coat ourselves with Bravo!! Wonderful storyteller you are dear Cpat. Bravo!! Chris  "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...let them wonder... ~*~ So many great lines, but you know I end up picking them all... a good good morning to you Sir! Our southern Yank! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"I found a bench and sat Watching nothing and seeing everything As the day went about its normalcy Revealing fine hazed cracks in the glaze We all coat ourselves with" Fantastic imagery here Captain.. Love your storytelling. ~Morning hugs to you!~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Hard not to quote the "hazed cracks" line. "I was tired of pretense" earlier line. And the "let them wonder I do"... I do, too. I wonder at the talent you have. Such an easy read, it flows as you develope this character. And, I wonder at decisions he will make and I want to know what happens next... enjoying these greatly, Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thank you all... glad you enjoyed my little attempt at keeping up with Duncan..lol.. He must be taking some sort of health tonic..I don't think I have ever seen him write three is such a short time frame... Figured I'd take Buddy out of Rita's and let Duncan figure out what next..lol.. seriously..I do appreciate the read and the comments... you are all far too kind in your replies to my rambles... but I do thank you.. sincerely. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'I headed towards the river No intentions of doing anything but walking And trying to decide what next. I’d been here several weeks now And while Savannah was a place for strange I didn’t quite feel the fit I had hoped. I wasn’t quite Yankee and not a son of the south So I often got the polite nod and genteel charm Reserved in many places for tourists.' That's okay...Mike can show ya around  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
regards, sudhir |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It's true, makes them wonder what you're thinking, if we only knew! (there's always a catch) What a great thought...Cpat~ Your story humms with all your good vibes that we've come to know and love. |
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