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Open Poetry #26
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Here They Come
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Here They Come |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Joe decided that I should ‘man the machine’, adding some jab about it being the easiest station to work I assured him that wasn’t gonna break my heart All those fried potatoes and greens I’d eaten were settling real heavy in my stomach and the way I saw it, I was working for my own twenty bucks and a beer some old drunk wouldn’t even know he bought me Looking at the clock, I reassured myself that it being Sunday night, I’d be there three hours, tops then be on my way Savannah didn’t seem like such a good idea, anymore The next time I looked up it was 11:30, five and a half hours had passed in a blur of Rita yelling at everyone, including me for a host of imaginary infractions that were breaking her flow ‘I gotta get in my groove boys then we’ll all be happy’, she laughed During the few moments I had time to breathe, I turned from the wall I faced all night and watched Rita move around her kitchen I wasn’t sure if she was notably graceful or if everyone else was just real good at getting out of her way Rita was a large woman and seemed to utilize every inch She asked no more than that of anyone around her ‘God gave ya two hands for a reason boy, use ‘em’, she chided as I sorted more forks, spoons and knives than I ever imagined existed ‘If the sweat’s not burnin’ your eyes you ain’t workin’ hard enough’, her voice rang in my ears until I thought I’d hear it in my sleep I’d never seen anyone cook like Rita and she talked the whole time, never turning to read the long white strips of orders, clipped behind her She talked about someone’s sister being sick, asked if anyone had been to the new steakhouse up the road, said didn’t Jean’s boy look nice in his graduation picture She talked and she cooked, like it was all just company over for dinner I turned back toward the wall and lifted the metal door of the dishwasher, releasing a burst of steam into the already suffocating air of the kitchen I wiped the sweat from my eyes with the sleeve of a soaked shirt and hoped Rita would notice I was damn sure earning that beer |
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| © Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Sounds to me, like YOU found your groove, and you even learned to work the machines?? NO!!!! Now you're getting somewhere, but I knew you could do it, never doubted you for a second!!! I hope they keep the beer good and cold! So fun to read, Duncan~ *cheers* |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I wasn’t sure if she was notably graceful or if everyone else was just real good at getting out of her way ****************************************** Dang, I love the way you write. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Enjoying this Dunc! You sure do deserve that cold beer! Waiting...watching, for more..please? ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan Well done, really enjoyed the read. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I once heard a woman, (very much like your Rita) exclaim to the bunch occupying her kitchen, "If yer not gonna do anything....MOVE a little faster!" |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Marvelous...simply marvelous...this is written so clearly that I found I too was audience to what you were seeing.... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan...You are so good at this reality where you took me while I read. Much enjoyed! |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
"like it was all just company over for dinner" this writing, like it is no big deal just reads like a camera shot... all the tiny details, to the larger imagery, (burst of steam) kept me feeling like I was there..hearing the din of silverware stored, no doubt enjoying Rita's good cooking and getting ready to pay the waiter/waitress a little extra for bringing the food, steaming hot...and in a timely manner... enjoyed the write....look forward to more.... Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Yep...finally.... here they come.... keep 'em coming... y'hear? |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
"Ill be back" said the moth  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
ok...the moth is playing catch up to see what you and Ron have done while I was off playing last week....so Im headed to the next installment. I just love a mini series |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
A great scene, well done. Thanks for the entertainment. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I’d never seen anyone cook like Rita and she talked the whole time, never turning to read the long white strips of orders, clipped behind her She talked about someone’s sister being sick, asked if anyone had been to the new steakhouse up the road, said didn’t Jean’s boy look nice in his graduation picture She talked and she cooked, like it was all just company over for dinner Dunc, I loved this part. Well, actually I loved it all. I just didn't want to put the whole poem down here on my reply.  Hugs, Ethel |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) nice to see you finally wrote something and that in it..your character actually worked. good stuff Dunc... now..since you seem to be so sure you can keep ahead of me on this story..what's next? Huh? or am I going to have to go off and ramble about lost loves and all that sort of stuff while you figure out what to write next? |
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