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Open Poetry #26
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poetSeaMaiden
Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107


0 posted 2003-04-26 07:34 PM


~*~  Just Below The Surface ~*~


Just below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea
You will find a lovely maiden floating there, and she is me.

You cannot see her tears, for the waves wash them away
But they’re there - they’re always falling - always falling night & day.

The waves are churning hard, like the thoughts inside her mind
If you dare to brave her depths, there’s no telling what you’ll find.

She’s an angel of the sea, always there within the deep
Some say they’ve seen her on the shore, but only in their sleep.

Truth is - she fears the shore, which is why she stays below
But she cries below the surface, doesn’t want no one to know.

The deep blue sea’s the perfect place to hide the tears you cry
They fall, and no one sees them - so then they don’t ask you why…

Just go below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea
Go below and you will find her, she is there, and she is me.


[This message has been edited by poetSeaMaiden (04-26-2003 07:40 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 poetSeaMaiden - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2003-04-26 08:06 PM


Enjoyed...some may want to know why you are crying those tears...James
whiskey
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278
Australia
2 posted 2003-04-26 08:31 PM


Great first post, Can feel the sadness you discribe. Welcome to passions

Julie

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2003-04-26 09:22 PM







Enjoyed your first post!!

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2003-04-26 09:23 PM




"My gentle Puck, come hither. Thou rememb'rest
Since once I sat upon a promontory
And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back
Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath
That the rude sea grew civil at her song
And certain stars shot madly from their spheres
To hear the sea-maid's music?"
- Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream




(big hugggssssssss) This is a very emotionally charged debut, dearest friend, I love mermaids so much and have collections of mermaid art and can sympathize with the grief the ocean can experience! God Bless You, this is precious, I love it! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much, and be sure to check your E-mail for a very special greeting from all of us here at Passions just for you! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton




      
Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-04-26 09:30 PM


Sea Maiden,


~WELCOME TO PASSIONS~


Wonderful first poem and you are aptly named...glad to see you here and I look forward to more of your poetry.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
6 posted 2003-04-27 10:33 AM


Welcome To Passions!!!!
This is an incredible first poem!!!!
Hope you like it here....
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
7 posted 2003-04-27 11:21 AM


Something tells me your name goes very
well with your poetry....

Nicely done and welcome to Passions.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2003-04-27 11:22 AM



Much enjoyed your first post!
I look forward to seeing more of your work.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
9 posted 2003-04-27 11:29 AM


I really love this. Normally I don't like long lined peices but this is absolutely great! I LOVE the way this read...It sings so beautifully! Great job here!
And once again, WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!! You are a great addition to our family here!

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2003-04-27 11:49 AM


poetSeaMaiden
A delightful read, enjoyed.

MikeFessel
Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321
Brooklyn, NYC, USA
11 posted 2003-04-27 04:38 PM


Oh my, oh my, OH MY! This is my kind of poetry! I had to check your poem out, because you related so much to mine, that  I had to see inside of your mind. This is incredible writing. The expresion, the imagery, the emotions, I love it!!!

Oh now I am going to write out all of my favorite lines

Just below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea
You will find a lovely maiden floating there, and she is me. -I love the picture painted, just enought to let me finish painting the scene myself, which I love.

You cannot see her tears, for the waves wash them away
But they’re there - they’re always falling - always falling night & day. -Oh this is fabulous writing, so sad though

The waves are churning hard, like the thoughts inside her mind
If you dare to brave her depths, there’s no telling what you’ll find. -Oh great comparison, waves-mind churning, I love the next line as well!

She’s an angel of the sea, always there within the deep
Some say they’ve seen her on the shore, but only in their sleep. -oh the mysteriousness you play with here! This is remarkable to in my opinion.

Truth is - she fears the shore, which is why she stays below
But she cries below the surface, doesn’t want no one to know. -Oh this breaks my heart This is so sad, I feel such longing to help her, to reach out to her and bring her to the surface

The deep blue sea’s the perfect place to hide the tears you cry
They fall, and no one sees them - so then they don’t ask you why…  -this is so deep, I know this feeling so well, the hidden tears...

Just go below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea
Go below and you will find her, she is there, and she is me. -about here is where I started to cry.
  
      to be continued Mike



MikeFessel
Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321
Brooklyn, NYC, USA
12 posted 2003-04-27 04:41 PM


Sorry I wrote so much some of it didn't fit, so here's the rest:

This is so amazing! I can never understand why anyone who writes a poem like this, would ever look at something of mine and be impressed. It boggles my mind.

I really felt your emotions here, and I can tell you I have shared, heck I continue to share so many of them. I wish you didn't feel them. I wish you were happy. Please be happy OK?

Sorry if I go on. I hope I didn't upset or offend you in anyway, I sure didn't intend to.

                Mike
P.S.- Oh and of couse Welcome! I am so glad you joined, obviously. Most people usually say things like, great for a first post, but this is simply great period!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
13 posted 2003-04-27 06:49 PM


WELL DONE! I like the way you let your feelings float upon the waves with this post.
Welcome to Passions!

poetSeaMaiden
Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107

14 posted 2003-04-27 09:23 PM


JamesMichael - If I TOLD you why I was crying, I'd have to "do away" with you, see? Thanks for reading! *smiles*

Whiskey - I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for the warm welcome!

Nightshade - What a COOL little welcome sign! Thanks for reading and welcoming me!

Enchantress - Thanks for a warm and lovely welcome! I love your name too! Lovely!!

Magnus - Yep, that's me! Miss mermaid herself! Glad you enjoyed!

JustBleu - I love your little happy face you left me! Thanks so much, and glad you enjoyed!

Noah - What a BEAUTIFUL addition you've made to my comments here! A million thanks for taking the time to make it special! WOW! *big hugs back*

KoKo - Wow, I'm so glad I could change your mind temporarily about long poems! LOL  I'm with you - it has to be good to keep my attention.  Maybe we're ADD and don't know it! *wink* Thanks so much, you already know I'm a big fan of yours too!

Sy - I've always enjoyed your works, and so glad you are sharing mine too! Thanks!

MikeFessel - I am humbled, just simply humbled. Please tell me you didn't really cry, because now I feel terrible! I am so moved that it touched you that way though. That must mean it's at least SOMEWHAT good, 'eh? *feeling proud* Don't be boggled Michael - and thanks so much for wishing me happy. You always go above and beyond sharing your thoughts and giving opinions, and it is ALWAYS appreciated. BELIEVE in your writing sir - you do have talent in my opinion. It's not easy pouring your heart out on paper like you do. *curtsies to you*  

Midnitesun - Thanks SO much for feeling this poem. I'm so glad you enjoyed!!

~ Poets cry with words, not always tears, you see.  ~ PoetSeaMaiden

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