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Open Poetry #26
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Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2003-04-26 04:09 PM


***(Hanky-Alert)***



Slow Motion
By: Noah Eaton
4/26/03

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In slow motion...
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. ...it’s easy to lose faith…
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The light is left on...
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. ...but no one knows your name...
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In slow motion...
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. ...caricatures fall like rain...
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. ...dreaming within a dream till you go insane...
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Steel balloons...
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c
      r
                    a
                         s
                              h...
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. ...against a pale obsidian atmosphere...
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Grist mills...
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Grizzled prophets...
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. ...my watch freezes to submission...
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(tap)
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In slow motion...
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. ...I’m always half-blind...
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Swimming along peninsulas...
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.             ...of hebephrenia...
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In slow motion
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. ...who’s to say I see anything...
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. ...I perceive, therefore I am...
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Hermit crabs...
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c
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                             w
                                        l...
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. ...out of the screeching floorboards...
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Everything that is a posteriori...
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Just a shallow latitudinarian...
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. ...voices telling me the joke’s on me...
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. ...pulling the last straw on and on...
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Trying to reach the door...
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(screech)
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In slow motion...
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. ...it feels like a sudatorium...
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Feels like Hollywood at dusk...
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In slow motion...
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. ...succussion strikes in sixteenth note...
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. ...like pearls scattering to the cold street...
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(creak)
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In slow motion...
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. ...embers never jump...
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Am I just an epicure...
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. ...living irrationally among these heathens...
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Please, oh please...
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In slow motion...
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. ...respiration means everything...
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. ...until mother comes to turn on the light...
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(click)




                   
Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (04-26-2003 04:44 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

1 posted 2003-04-26 04:52 PM


This is wonderfuly creative Noah...and so full of depths and meaning.
Eric

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2003-04-26 06:34 PM


Interesting style...James
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-04-26 06:36 PM


Very creative sidekick!  Much enjoyed.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2003-04-26 06:37 PM


Oooh... very unusual and twisted... I scrolled to read this, slowly... just to get that extra added effect.  

This is something different, Noah, I like the concept you've used here.  Especially all the onomatopeia, spacing, pauses... really tone-enhancing.  And then the ending, well, caught me off guard... I never saw it coming.  

Lovely work, Mr. Eaton.  

Parasite

God becomes as
we are that we
may be as he
is
~William Blake

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2003-04-26 07:10 PM


Yep...what LP said...I really enjoyed this..plus a
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2003-04-26 07:21 PM


Slooooooow Moooooootion...

Gosh you're good! I bet you'd also make a fabulous maestro! Conducting the orchestra with such artistry, sensitivity--and flare!
You truly are a renaissance man--you write poetry, songs, and you also have an artistic eye.

One doesn't just read your poetry, one experiences it!

Love & Hugs,
EA

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2003-04-26 07:34 PM


very nice
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
8 posted 2003-04-26 11:25 PM


(big hugggsssssss) Thank you for your wonderful replies, really needed them as this really brought everything out of me writing!



This is about childrens nightmares, this was one I had ever so much and nightmares are an ugly place for any kid to be, too much violence and it gets too dark to see what's coming at you! (wipes tears)



Love,
Noah Eaton

      
Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

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