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Open Poetry #26
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2003-04-25 05:35 AM



My heart is washed by tears
And it seems that you still speak,
Because my breathing is unsteady
And my muscles getting weak.

I feel the whip upon my back
The flame that’s on my face.
Peculiar bruises on my soul
Appearing with no trace.

I’ve tensed to give me comfort,
Closed my eyes to disappear.
I’m shifting like a madman
And I gulp to hide my fear.

Yet in the corner,
In the darkroom,
Where you sit alone in tears;
You laugh,
You clown a smile
As your heart sharpens the spear.

(I realise this makes little to no sense.... unless you're me that is. Have fun making up a meaning)

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

© Copyright 2003 GG - All Rights Reserved
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
1 posted 2003-04-25 07:08 AM



Alyssa,


And all the walls are mirrors?
I liked:
"Closed my eyes to disappear"

I still do that and it does not work, smiles here....

creative writing, enjoyed..

Hugs and Love, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
2 posted 2003-04-25 11:54 AM


Pat,
it seems there are some habits that despite their childlike qualities we can never quite pass up. I think thats one of them
But as long as we can convince ourselves something with it, then it deserves a little credit! Thanks for the reply..
Hugs and love,
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

poetSeaMaiden
Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107

3 posted 2003-04-26 07:49 PM


Very intense feelings here - I could see a broken child actually crying in a corner and wrestling with the pain...

This is superb, but sad. I do know the feelings well myself though. You've done a great job putting them on paper. *raising glass*  TO BRIGHTER DAYS!

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
4 posted 2003-04-26 10:14 PM



Alyssa,

Never mind the mirrors...well, to add to it....denial of pain..it is all on the inside...yet you smile..???????

You do make me think...

The title is

Hugs and love, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2003-04-26 10:28 PM




(big hugggssssss) Oh Alyssa, I too almost did this when I was 12 years old, but I didn't fall from the chasm because I swear God pushed me back and that is how I have become accustomed to Him and have His word! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Alyssa, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

      
Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2003-04-26 10:56 PM


Interesting write. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
7 posted 2003-04-26 11:47 PM


GG,very good write

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-04-27 06:29 AM


Alyssa:

ok should I be scared because I think
I understand this:

I see it as yourself
mocking in the corner
an alter ego (not the crazy kind)
but the kind we all have
you know the one that sits on
your shoulder and tells you awful
things about yourself
(Ok maybe I am the only one
like this lol)

Amazing write - miss you
xxoo

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
9 posted 2003-04-27 05:58 PM


PoetSeaMaiden,
glad I got the picture across here yes *clinks glass* to brighter days!! Thank you...


Pat,
*grins* I love making people think and wonder... But I'm the type of person who's always got a big grin on her face.. either that or a serious and stern, unmistakably pained look. If I knew how I might put a pic of me up here lol ..thank you

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
10 posted 2003-04-27 06:03 PM


Noah,
Its amazing how many people are in such despair and close to such edges at times..

I think I'll take now to explain what this poems means to me... its actually about a peson who, when I see them, makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. But by their hurting me its actually killing them.
I know, I know, my mind is crazy ..thanks for the reply!

Nightshade,
thank you... I'll take interesting as a compliment.. I think you meant strange though!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
11 posted 2003-04-27 06:08 PM


Carol,
thank you, I'm glad you think it is

Sue,
naw don't be scared, let everyone else fear you instead! *grins* Though your explanation isn't the exact thing I had in mind, it does work, and in fact I think its possible that it is the internal reality of what I wrote. yeek that means you'd understand me better then me, now I'M scared. Thanks for the reply!

Always, Alyssa

PS. I miss you all too; I also miss my muse and my time!

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

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