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Open Poetry #26
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-04-24 02:37 PM


On string,
Twine tied songs sink
Seeking
Deeper until Mark 2
And all floats clear

But tangled retrieve
Of phrase can not be sure
Shallows are not plumbed
In twists each bed lends
To the course
From me
To the sea
Or at least
The next bend
And snagged tree
That leans crooked
In the shadows
Also
Looking
Searching
Deep.

So the words
In flow have piled
This sand on slow
And I am
On the bow
Calling
Mark 2
or is
the river
low?

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (04-24-2003 02:38 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-04-24 02:42 PM



Resonate...

deep...

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
2 posted 2003-04-24 02:51 PM


Sail further...there's depth to draw..

believe in what your heart feels...

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-04-24 02:52 PM




(sigh) I guess sometimes we can't tell if we are in the voicing or the undercurrent and just breaching up makes that discovery! (big hugggssssss) This is marvelous, I just found Part 3, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

And that's the most wonderful thing about creating. It will always be a mystery.

***Shakira***

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2003-04-24 03:04 PM


I am smiling wide here. You took a twisty turn of thought here in the construction of this, until the physical presentation of the poem illustrated your point. How often is it, that it's just like this, almost mocking us in elusive....a kind of "here I am, now I ain't" tease...

Bravo Cap'n. I am curious tho, as to your choice of titles for these tho? I have my own ideas of course, but as always I wonder how close my perception is to your intent. (and chuckle, I'm sure you like it that way, too!)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-04-24 03:15 PM


yes......

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Martie
Moderator
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2003-04-24 03:25 PM


Ron

So the words
In flow have piled
This sand on slow
And I am
On the bow
Calling
Mark 2
or is
the river
low?

Sometimes just when you thought you could see land, another question splashes you back into the sand.  Didn't say that quite right, but it rhymed.  Enjoying these thoughts of yours with the same question that serenity had as to the titles.

Brad Majors
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Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
7 posted 2003-04-24 04:06 PM


good continuation
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

8 posted 2003-04-27 03:57 PM


'But tangled retrieve
Of phrase can not be sure
Shallows are not plumbed
In twists each bed lends
To the course
From me
To the sea
Or at least
The next bend
And snagged tree
That leans crooked
In the shadows
Also
Looking
Searching
Deep.'

Never know what waits around the bend...maybe that's a good thing!  

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