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Open Poetry #26
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Go Away!
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Go Away! |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Here I go again. I feel this way again, like pushing everyone away. Just get the hell away! I'm so afraid again. Wish I could go away. Just leave you all behind. I want to begin anew! Cause something here just ain't right. Something in my mind snapped tonight. Its snapped before and it'll crack again. Im sick of trying to make repairs. Maybe I'll just go away. You'll never see me again. Cause I try so hard for you. You just do what you always do. I want you to feel all my pain. Make you feel bad, drive you away. Cause I'm scared to get too close. And I'm terrified you will go away. I can feel you slip away. I can hear your footsteps fading. I can feel your mind forgetting. Can you hear mine hating! I thought you were my angel. I thought you were an answer. I thought I meant something to you. Now I think I'm giving up on you. So go ahead and leave, I don't care. This is nothing I haven't seen before. Just don't leave me hanging on. Let my heart go so I can move on. By Michael J Fessel I wrote this in a loose, lyrical style. But I couldn't help it, some parts of this poem I just want to scream out at the top of my lungs. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Michael J Fessel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Sometimes letting someone go is the best thing you could do for yourself....Man what an intense piece. Some of this I've felt at times. Sometimes I think we just want to break out of our reality and run away to another place. But, where to go..... Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Oh Bridgette [my sister's name is also Bridgette- very cool  ], I think you are so right. I guess I am just fed up with everything, especially myself. I'm so happy you thought so much of my poem Sigh...unfortunately no one else seems to agree. I got 46 posts on one of other poems, yet here this was on for almost as long and I only have one. Oh well... Thank you so much for your sweet words. It would have really sucked if no one replied at all to my poem, so thanks for saving me from that! So glad you liked this, and I am very grateful for your kind words. I am a bit confused right now, and the advice really helps [Excuse my long reply ]Mike |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sounds to me like it's time for a change... |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Mike, you surely are a man of extremes .... in one night you broke your intense happiness and walk the path of darkness again. I am sorry to hear this. Your poem is very good though. But as long as your happiness depends on someone or on something you will not grasp it, dear friend. Happiness is a state of mind, a source in your heart, a Divine presence .... you should detach emotionally from the subject of your love, only UNCONDITIONAL LOVE will do ..... Hugs. Margherita |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Sigh...I don't know what I should do anymore. Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Margherita: Thanks for the advice. Sigh...I am so confused. I know the problem for a large part lies within myself, you are right. Sometimes I just think I am going mad, which may be good for writing poems, but it sure isn't good for me  Anyway, I'm glad you liked this poem, even though I cleaned it up but couldn't edit it here. This was just a ranting thing, no real skill involved here. Thats why it is so lousy, above and beyond my normal trash.You are very wise. I shall try to take your advice, but its just failure after failure for me lately, so I probably will fail at that as well. Thanks for all your kindness and support I admit I needed some right now.Hugs Mike |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
You know Mike...many of us have failure in our lives and the older you get, the more you may have. The amount of responses you get or don't receive does not mean that no one likes or reads your poetry. I don't know which poem you wrote that received that large amount of responses but it meant you touched those readers with your words. Also if it was your first post, we all try to welcome the new poets and make them feel comfortable. I myself often write about being depressed or having a bad day but try and I am stressing that word, TRY to do it subtly. You will often see some new poets leave a message in their title...please respond. But that doesn't usually help. The title and the poem may be read and not responded to. There are many readers here. Also if you feel the need to discuss the hurt and sorrow in your life, you may wish to just post it in Feelings or the Alley in the discussion forums. You may get more responses there and they don't have to be in poetic form. I hope this helps...and anytime you don't understand, just email a moderator, there are links at the top of each forum. M |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
The way you wrote this I'm not sure if your pushing someone away because you're afraid of the struggle or if you are frustrated with a relationship because you feel like you're doing all the work...James |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Thank you nakdthoughts, but I must say I have posted some of these poems at other sites and have not received these reactions. Though looking at them, from a distant perspective, I can say I understand. But I can only write one way, by letting my emotions flow, completely and without limits. If I am going to limit how I feel, than it wouldn't be me, it wouldn't be real, and it wouldn't be worth writing. I am sorry I have such strong emotions all the time, and that my work reflects that. I'd love to write sonnets and poems about nature, but when I try I can't. This is all that's there. In time, maybe this will change for me, I don't know. But for now, this is all I know to do, and since it is upsetting a lot of people, I think it would be better if I just stopped posting here. I don't want to upset anybody, and I am clearly doing that. You are all wonderful people. I guess my kind of writing just didn't fit it. Oh well. Life goes on! I wish everyone the happiest of lives. You have been so kind to me, I shall not forget it. Goodbye! Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
I'd love to write sonnets and poems about nature, but when I try I can't. This is all that's there. In time, maybe this will change for me, I don't know. But for now, this is all I know to do, and since it is upsetting a lot of people, I think it would be better if I just stopped posting here. I don't want to upset anybody, and I am clearly doing that. You are all wonderful people. I guess my kind of writing just didn't fit it. Oh well. Life goes on! I wish everyone the happiest of lives. You have been so kind to me, I shall not forget it. Goodbye! Mike |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I sent you an email, because I think you are misunderstanding our responses to you. And they are truly feeling your words. So don't think about leaving until you read what I had to say. Also if you don't want any criticism, you should say so in your profile...because above this, yours says you love both praise and criticism...and your readers are just trying to tell you how they feel and what they get out of your words. ~smiles~ and a friendly hug M |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Dear nakedthoughts Fine. I thought about it, and I understand. I suppose you are right. Anyway, I found someone who writes incredible poetry that speaks to my heart, now I am hooked and have to stick around so I can keep reading that person's work I shall try...TRY, for I have trouble controlling myself at times, to be more careful with my posts, and to not take other's responses so seriously. I promise. I don't want to harm anyone with my work, that's for sure. Though I still don't like being censored grrrrrrr... Thanks for all your help, I shall take all your advice to heart I promise! Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
James: Lol well I'd say its a lot of things: The failing struggle within my self to control my emotions in the light of this relationship; the fear of opening myself up, especially due to the fear that in the end I will just lose them; and the feeling of fustration that I am putting my whole heart and soul into this, while the other person seems to be treating me like just another person in their life. Ahh and the fear that I can see signs of all this coming to pass, of my angel leaving me. I am paranoid, and this makes sense to me. of course I probably just confused you more Sorry, my mind is to complex for its own good.Mike |
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