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Open Poetry #26
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2003-04-23 03:13 PM


Sun slips
through window
dawn changes
nothing
pinned to bed
by the weight
of things

There is
almost comfort
in this darkness
its roots
dug deep
long a part
of me

And though
she whispers
of beauty
within these eyes
I see only
the beast
that lies
behind them

The haunt
of its breath
upon my flesh
teeth bared
in wicked smile
the Devil
mocks
but the face
is mine

I have crushed
a soul in cold
revenge

Drawn tears
with words for
pleasure

Have felt the
crack of ribs
against my boot

Thought the
thoughts that
one should not

In the hold
of self pity
for suffering
endured
I'd thought
these things
justified
that all should
feel my pain

My knees
worn with prayer
I have found
no solace in
repentance
the sting
of self
flaggellation
yet to release
me

For I know
there is no
angel left
wings  soiled
and halo lost
in depths
few would face

© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-04-23 03:19 PM



Once again...
well.

As soon as I figure
out
a response worthy
of this...

I'll be back.


Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-04-23 03:26 PM


all too often our own self judgement is worse than any others would impose on us..
you state this. all of this in a poetic way that flows dwon the page and into the readers mind... and leaves a sting of our own failings to ponder...

Not a one of us here is an angel.. and not a one of us that live have not committed acts we could be judged harshly for...

pick up the feathers and glue them back on... you may never fly... but they will keep you warm.



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2003-04-23 03:32 PM


there IS a beauty in those eyes...

...and angels are everywhere, though some fall...it's expected...not hopeless.

[This message has been edited by passing shadows (04-23-2003 03:36 PM).]

wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land
4 posted 2003-04-23 03:40 PM


Few, that was a physical read.
Very empowering, brutal and hard at points but terribly compelling, well done I was mesmerized...!

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
5 posted 2003-04-23 06:33 PM


very good use of imagery!
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
6 posted 2003-04-23 06:57 PM


Truly magnificent, in it's power, and perception. I liked what Cpat said...
wise words. TD

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2003-04-23 07:01 PM


Raph, this is a magnificent piece m'friend which does show the beauty within your eyes.

I see it!

very powerful.

keeping it.

Maree


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-04-23 10:28 PM


karilea I'm not even shure what to say

Cpat thanks, eventually of course i will just feeling ugly inside and out today

Very sweet thanks Dixie I know its not hopeless but knowing and feeling are different things

Thanks you wings I'm glad you got through it grin

Thanks Brad appreciate it

Thanks thisdiamon, I always like what Cpat says

Thank you very much Maree too sweet


littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-04-23 10:59 PM


Raph:

this is a brilliant write
Had me at every line
eyes intent
heart beating fast
dropped jaw

just like an amazing write should be

You are awesome
(but I do disagree with you - but of course you knew I had to put that in here hehe)

xxoo

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2003-04-24 06:48 AM


This is a powerful introspection .... an absolutely breathtaking write.
... it came to the light .... you see LIGHT IS, whether you see it or not. You are Light, look twice within ....you'll find the sun breaking through the clouds.
Love, Margherita

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

11 posted 2003-04-24 05:26 PM


...


junemac
Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005
uk
12 posted 2003-04-24 05:58 PM


this poem was really thought provoking.
i was fascinated all the way through.
june x

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
13 posted 2003-04-24 06:14 PM


Even angels fall and when they do, they learn and grow and become, somehow less remote. I always enjoy the feel of your work even when it's painful to read.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
14 posted 2003-04-24 09:04 PM


Thanks Sue not an easy write to..well write and I know you disagree but..

Un abbracio Margherita very sweet words I am always awed by your kindness

Kamla?? Silence? That's just scary is it speechlessness or you holding back a critique, if it's the latter let loose but understand this was less a poem than it was a purge

Thanks June glad it held you

Thank you Kethry it means alot that you do


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