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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2003-04-23 02:03 PM

I see you but it doesn't help.
I know you and still the desperation
rises inside me, wanting to be known
for who I am and not what eyes see.

Time has eroded feelings,
like a battery gone dead.
It has worn away what is left of love
and the possibilities have dissolved along with it.

All that is left is honesty, for me enough,
but not enough for another to feel
it's worthiness.
Each day becomes harder,
each thought just a fuzzy memory.
Becoming accustomed to the loss of
touch and feelings, I am as raw as one can be.

Naked thoughts were all I had
and even they...
are no longer enough.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

1 posted 2003-04-23 02:26 PM

I see you but it doesn't help.
I know you and still the desperation
rises inside me, wanting to be known
for who I am and not what eyes see.

~ It reminds of "knowing" someone from a distant relationship - seeing the person, or a picture of the person..."hearing" by only reading what one says, but never actually knowing more than what the eyes see and read.

Time has eroded feelings,
like a battery gone dead.
It has worn away what is left of love
and the possibilities have dissolved along with it.

~ But there is always at least some possibility?

All that is left is honesty, for me enough,
but not enough for another to feel
it's worthiness.

~ Maybe a-another, but not all, yes?

Each day becomes harder,
each thought just a fuzzy memory.
Becoming accustomed to the loss of
touch and feelings, I am as raw as one can be.

Naked thoughts were all I had
and even they...
are no longer enough.

~ It sounds as if you are speaking about a particular person who used to be in your life, I could be wrong.

Anyway, very well expressed. Enjoyed!

~ Opeth

[This message has been edited by Opeth (04-23-2003 02:27 PM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-04-23 02:35 PM

Oh God! Can I understand this one deep down inside?

Yes! And you know it.

Opeth! Good to see you! I was wondering where you have been

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2003-04-23 02:44 PM

You read me very well Opeth...you always have

I'm tiring of my life and am trying to find something in it worthwhile, but even my poetry is beginning to seem meaningless.

hugssss and thanks for keeping in touch. I appreciate your kindness and understanding, always
M

Dixie, if you understand this then we are both in trouble.
hugssss
M

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

4 posted 2003-04-23 07:30 PM

You poetry touches that place within...that longs for a greater meaning.
To quote Rumi - "This longing you express
IS the return message."
The grief you cry out from
draws you towards union.
Your pure sadness
that wants help
is the secret cup.

Your poetry...you...contain the return message.
Eric

whiskey

Senior Member

since 1999-12-28

Posts 1278
Australia

5 posted 2003-04-23 09:26 PM

Your poetry speaks loudly I can feel it deep down within, this piece I can relate to ive felt these feelings before. Wonderful

Julie

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

6 posted 2003-04-25 01:05 AM

This is one of the most moving pieces I've seen, from someone whose writing never fails to move me.

Well done. Well done indeed. Your use of counterpoint, of saying things are one way in order to show so graphically that they are the opposite -- just excellent.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

7 posted 2003-04-25 01:23 AM

I know.

Tis a difficult time.. and that damnable four letter word... "time" is all that can cure it

You wrote this so well. Lift up your heart, my dear, your soul will not let you stay down forever.

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

8 posted 2003-04-25 03:18 PM

Ericc, I long for something...some day maybe I will find it or it will find me.
thank you

whiskey, I hate to think that anyone else feels or has felt this way...
It's a feeling I am trying to get over.

M

Ratleader, thank you for your kind words.
I never know exactly what style and what words will result from my daily feelings. But I thank you for reading and replying.

peppermint35, I am beginning to dislike "time". I think it holds a grudge against me

and I have a lot more down time to go through.
M

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

9 posted 2003-04-25 07:17 PM

The yearning and craving of your heart's desire comes out so clearing that I can feel the emptiness you are speeking of...Lasting Impressions is a pearl for all who read it...thank you.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

10 posted 2003-04-25 07:41 PM

You are very sweet Karen, and I am happy to see your return.

hugss
M

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

11 posted 2003-04-25 08:02 PM

I'm sorry, Maureen. I know our time was short but I could only get away for the weekend and I couldn't stand sleeping on that bed one more night!

Huh? It's not about Tampa?? Oops...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

12 posted 2003-04-27 07:36 AM

haaaaa...I haven't even begun to post about Tampa...just you wait

hugssss and thanks
M

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