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Open Poetry #26
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California

0 posted 2003-05-04 03:23 PM


    The Eatery

The tables are talking
each with its white linen clothe
they are whispering secrets
sometimes too loud

I find out a friend is dying
and know a mother is unhappy
for her voice is like cracked glass
as she touches the sharp pieces to her child
wanting him to quiet
when the noise is in her

I try to concentrate on my plate
but the tables won’t leave me in peace
they startle me with a sudden outburst
distress me with their complaint
and then suddenly
like chimes across the cold gray morning
I see the color of humanity is in breaking fast
in partaking together
as laughter takes the corners and rings them

[This message has been edited by Martie (05-04-2003 04:18 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2003-05-04 03:30 PM


Martie~     What a neat write, especially this...

I see the color of humanity is in breaking fast
in partaking together
as laughter takes the corners and rings them.

Your writing is so colorful and surpasses the extraordinary.

*applause*

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2003-05-04 03:32 PM


let me try this again...darn thingy~
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

3 posted 2003-05-04 04:13 PM


'I try to concentrate on my plate
but the tables won’t leave me in peace
they startle me with a sudden outburst
the distress me with their complaint
and then suddenly
like chimes across the cold gray morning
I see the color of humanity is in breaking fast
in partaking together
as laughter takes the corners and rings them'

I love the way you've captured both the intimacy and the occasional discomfort of eating in close quarters with strangers.  So much of life transpires at tables like these.  If I ever have my own restaurant, I'd like to have this hanging on the wall.     


Magnus
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since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
4 posted 2003-05-04 04:16 PM


I will never understand how you write.  It
is always exceptional and so full of color
and life,  so vivid.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2003-05-04 04:22 PM


You paint a real life scene so very vividly.
Brava!
I love especially your expression "the tables are talking", great to give them voice.
Love, Margherita

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-05-04 04:44 PM


Gee Martie, I know exactly what you mean..
at times you want the noise to stop..I've been there in that same eatery..
I'm sure I have been..!
I've thought these thoughts, but never knew how to put them into words...
You just did and it's wonderful!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
7 posted 2003-05-04 05:37 PM


Martie - your neat...

BC

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2003-05-04 08:40 PM


just had to smile while reading this...
recalling our conversation about your "people watching" and how your muse finds inspire in the voyerism of it all.
Once again you capture the moment in a freeze frame verse thats classic Martie.

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
9 posted 2003-05-05 12:27 PM


You're one of the people around here whose work gets an instant read when I see it -- but I wasn't able to answer when I read this one earlier today.

You have a gift for turning seemingly ordinary things into bits of magic -- a walk in the park becomes a flight on the wind, a rainy day becomes a paradigm of life -- and all with the lightest, most airy touch.

You have a gift, and you are a gift to Passions. Who else could make this from a stop at a local restaurant?

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

garysgirl
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10 posted 2003-05-05 12:33 PM


Martie, you already know that I like the
whole poem, but this....

I try to concentrate on my plate
but the tables won’t leave me in peace
they startle me with a sudden outburst
distress me with their complaint
and then suddenly
like chimes across the cold gray morning
I see the color of humanity is in breaking fast
in partaking together
as laughter takes the corners and rings them


...is so unique.....so  you.
Hugs,
Ethel

ljossberir
Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81
Ny, USA
11 posted 2003-05-05 01:13 AM


ive often thought everyday situations can make beautiful poetry at times, but have failed to do so in my own work. Congrats on getting it right!
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
12 posted 2003-05-05 01:21 AM


So cleanly drawn!  A great scene, seen from the inside out.  Thank you for sharing this.
Reminds me of a painting called "Night Hawks."

Local Parasite
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since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
13 posted 2003-05-05 01:34 AM


Martie...

Earlier today I was trying to think of the scenery that most compelled my imagination and drove my pen, and I realized that I'm not the outdoors type... that some of the most inspiring things I've ever written on were things I discovered in social situations.  For me, it's the bus... but this, the eatery, is something I've considered also.

I tend to eat in private so I don't get the chance to sit alone in a public eating place all too oft, save for taking my own table in the cafeteria at my university.  But I can recall that strangeness of human conflict, human emotion, human turmoil... all coming out at the opportunity to sit down and eat.  

I think one thing that makes the tables so talkative is that, whenever there's an uneasy silence, you can compensate by taking a bite of your food... and also, when you're done, you can always use that as an excuse to get up and walk away... even if it isn't really the reason.

I think you've captured something very, very powerful here, Martie... you've got me thinking as well as smiling.  Your talent and clever phrasings (I loved 'breaking fast'), the image you conjured... it was aided by that photograph of you, I have to admit (I try not to let visual distractions influence my reading experience).  I could more easily picture you sitting quietly and trying not to stare at the commotion around you...

Sorry if I'm rambling about things, but I only do that when a poem really captures something that I think is really worthy of thought... you've done that here and I'm grateful, because I was just about to go to sleep but now you've given me a reason to stay awake a little longer.    

It's an amazing poem, Martie... and I'm glad to know that there are still people who can have a social experience, and turn that into poetry... thank you again.  This one will be treasured in my personal library, but I wish I could do more for it... this is easily one of the most inspiring poems I've ever read at piptalk....

Parasite

Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.

~Percy Bysshe Shelley


[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (05-05-2003 01:37 AM).]

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2003-05-05 04:20 AM


I almost felt like I was on the outside of the window looking in Martie, and Bryan is right - this was just so darn inspiring.  All this came from sitting in a restaurant?  Amazing!  However you truly always amaze me with your writing, always.

                 

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2003-05-05 06:25 AM



The imagery is strong in this one Martie...very strong...and yes, those table clothes can speak loudly at times...

Excellent!

junemac
Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005
uk
16 posted 2003-05-05 07:09 AM


absolutely brilliantly brought to life martie.

you are so talented.

hu7gs from june x

suthern
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Louisiana
17 posted 2003-05-05 01:06 PM


I don't use the term often... but this is brilliant. *S*
Goodknight
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since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
18 posted 2003-05-06 10:01 AM


the journeys you take me on are so special - my mind and soul soar as I read and travel to the next wonderful place you take me - Paul
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
19 posted 2003-05-06 08:44 PM




(sigh) Yes, I too like to have my lunch in private because it isn't that I don't care about the stories others say, just that with all the cacophony you can never make out a word and the difficulty in concentrating on what's being said can leave too much food left on your plate! (big hugggsssssss) Just too much to digest, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

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