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Open Poetry #26
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Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2003-04-23 07:26 AM


Second Thoughts

My gypsy life has lost its crow
Time and go concedes to slow
My horse has turned a rocking chair
And though I spur it goes nowhere.

But mentally I ride the rail
Still ponder on each rawhide trail
Chasing girls in mental spry but
Can’t remember the reason why.

It seems an ingrown part a key
Something in the genes of me
Still sight stars wherever I roam
And sometimes write a lovers poem.

But what I seek seems fluid sand
It just keeps flowing through my hand
Making piles that melt away
Sand castles that never stay

For what it screams in low confide
Arthritic pride cannot abide.


© Copyright 2003 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2003-04-23 07:39 AM


Something to read on the back porch
Very nicely done
(although you don’t need that but in there)
((but I guess that depends on what you are think of))
I can relate, being an old geezer myself

Gloom

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2003-04-23 07:42 AM


'But what I seek seems fluid sand
It just keeps flowing through my hand
Making piles that melt away
Sand castles that never stay'

Morning Sy.  A poignant write from you this morning...enjoyed (even at this hour...lol).

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2003-04-23 07:49 AM


My gypsy life has lost its crow
Time and go concedes to slow

-------------

and those will be me wisdom waaay cool lines of the day.


My horse has turned a rocking chair
And though I spur it goes nowhere.

-------------

thats why ya need RANDY!!  

Chasing girls in mental spry but
Can’t remember the reason why.

-------------

ASK RANDY!!!!  LOL

It seems an ingrown part a key
Something in the genes of me
Still sight stars wherever I roam
And sometimes write a lovers poem.

-------------
yeppers...ya got those poet genes going on!!
and we are soooo grateful that you do *S*

But what I seek seems fluid sand
It just keeps flowing through my hand
Making piles that melt away
Sand castles that never stay

=================

Could one verse be any cooler with word play, analogy, rhymes divine, imagery and personification????

For what it screams in low confide
Arthritic pride cannot abide.

-------------

and who else but you could write a closing couplet that plays me mothy heartstrings and  makes me want to give you a big hug!!
(and some *winkies* too) *L*



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-04-23 08:04 AM


Professor  
You have second thoughts too. LOL Thank you for the read and gracious comment.

Duncan
A friend in need is a friend indeed, LOL didn't mean to put you through the hoop so early in the morning. LOL

JM
You read me like a book. Never had anyone
understand me so well. You truly are a source of surcease for both Randy and myself. You may reign my ivy tower as long as you like, It is a forever lease.
WWRS

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2003-04-23 09:11 AM


Ah Sy!!  Wish I could give you a big hug right now!
And JM is right..why do you need a rocking horse
when we have Randy to take us for rides?
You take care dear poet sir..I'll bring you tea in a bit...
and my sister will be along with something for you to nibble on.
NO! Not her ear!  
~Morning hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2003-04-23 09:32 AM


Seymour sweet loving heart, there are words from an old song that have always stayed with me..."but I can dream can't I?" So, let's fly away on dreams and let our aging bones take a vacation. Perfect write this morning. How about some butter tarts with our tea before our flight of fancy? hugs, Chris
garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-04-23 10:47 AM


Morning Seymour  
This is a delightful poem. It gave me a giggle.

Especially this part......


---------------------------------------My horse has turned a rocking chair
And though I spur it goes nowhere.

But mentally I ride the rail
Still ponder on each rawhide trail
Chasing girls in mental spry but
Can’t remember the reason why
------------------------------------------



But, I forgot that Randy can fly. He can
take you where yuou want to go.  LOL  
Heart Hugs,  
Ethel

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2003-04-23 10:58 AM




Enjoyed greatly. Actually, this made me grin; just love your creativity!

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
9 posted 2003-04-23 11:11 AM


The race is never over Sy...stay on the inside rail and charge ahead...give the horse the lead...nicely written...ride on my friend..

believe in what your heart feels...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2003-04-23 11:12 AM


Mr. T., I'll have second helpings of your "Second Thoughts" whenever you choose to dish them! This was another marvellous sonnet!

I have never read a poem of yours that I didn't think was absolutely awesome!-- Well, there may have been 2 that were only fine! tehe

My father always told me to choose one thing and be the very best at it! He said that would be my claim to fame--well he must have been right!--because I'm not famous! --but I am fairly good at a lot of things! lol
Now you, my dear poet, have applied yourself to the writing of sonnets--and you are a master at writing them--and now you are a "famous" sonneteer! Have you had any books of your sonnets published? If not, please consider it! You could break them down into a variety of themes, i.e. Aging, Love, Wisdom, ...

Lovin' hugs,
EA

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2003-04-23 11:44 AM


Nancy,
Sis has the butter tarts and you have the tea, we are all set, hugs

Chris,
You are a sweet heart and we do have dreams.

Ethel,
You see how fast you forget, I forgot about Randy, LOL.

Pat,And I love your replies.

scorpio,
Thanks for the tip and reply.

Earth Angel,
Thank you for your wonderful dialogue,
I here make you first angel on my call list.
You are very sweet and I have thought on picking out some poems to put in a small book, but when you get my age everything takes on a heavy magnitude and your judgement seems to go. I find it difficult to pick out the good ones. What I like never seems to get much play and responce in the sight and that bothers me. But then again everything bothers me, LOL So you see I do have my problems. Anyhow a for your reply and another for good measure.


Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-04-23 12:00 PM


Enjoyed the read Sy... and while sandcastles may never last... I'm sure your words will..


Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
13 posted 2003-04-23 12:27 PM


Seymour~
Always the poetic flow ... it's such a pleasure to read you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2003-04-23 12:33 PM


Cpat,
What a nice thing to say, thank you.

Marge,
And you are such a dear,

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2003-04-23 12:34 PM


What a lovely response to my reply!
BTW, You could add "Humor" as another theme for a book! --but if you never get around to having  your sonnets published, remember this, your wonderful poetry has reached thousands of people the world 'round and touched many hearts and souls.

Huge hugs and super big smiles,
Linda

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2003-04-23 03:05 PM



Now turn a tune of thought in third
and fly the way of this blue bird
for lent by you is winged delight
as away you've penned this flight...

and leave in ponder all you think...
which takes me to the edge of brink...


Good afternoon, Sy!

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2003-04-23 03:41 PM


My horse has turned a rocking chair
And though I spur it goes nowhere.

ROFL... Oh, sweet friend... have you been watching my vain efforts??? LOL

Thoughts from you are always worth second, third and more readings... excellent work! *S*

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
18 posted 2003-04-23 05:05 PM


Sunshine
A sweet comment, thank you love.

suthern
Thank you my sugar coated friend,

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

19 posted 2003-04-23 05:48 PM


It's like riding a bike but nowadays you need to wear a helmet.
"For what it screams in low confide
Arthritic pride cannot abide."
              But you tried.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
20 posted 2003-04-23 07:03 PM


RSWells
LOL yes I did. Thank you for the read and amusing answer.

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
21 posted 2003-04-23 07:27 PM


Sy, from where I sit, thankfully, your mind is still willing to dream and fantasize and you write those thoughts with such beauty and grace.

Gosh, I just loved this so much. I giggled and tears flowed all at the same time.

How I wish we could meet in person for tea and crumpets.

Hugs sweet man ... Marti

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
22 posted 2003-04-23 09:09 PM


Marti
Maybe Randy will fly me there someday, lol
But for now and your lovely reply I'll send a sigh.

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
23 posted 2003-04-25 10:14 PM




(sigh) In the pursuit of adventure and leisure, I think we are always riding different rails and where we are going is always changing! (big hugggssssss) I think every rest deserves a whole new adventure and every journey deserves its victory, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

      
Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
24 posted 2003-04-25 11:50 PM


Noah,
Once again thank you my friend.

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
25 posted 2003-04-26 07:03 AM


Seymour I enjoyed !! full of fun and delight

Hope

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
26 posted 2003-04-26 07:39 AM


HopeS
So glad you enjoyed,

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
27 posted 2003-04-26 10:44 AM


Oh SY:

how that sand slips through the fingers
much too quickly . . . savor it
Like you do here . . .   xxoo

junemac
Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005
uk
28 posted 2003-04-26 12:41 PM


100% perfect. i just love this. i cant tell you how much i enjoyed your words , i think you are an amazing writer.

loads of love from june x

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
29 posted 2003-04-26 01:35 PM


Seymour, wonderful!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
30 posted 2003-04-26 02:10 PM


littlewing
Yes it does,

june,
Thank you so much,

passing shadows
Thanks for the wonderful,

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
31 posted 2003-04-26 03:51 PM


Enjoyed...James
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
32 posted 2003-04-26 06:53 PM


James,
Thanks for the enjoy.

vandana
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since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
33 posted 2003-04-26 07:42 PM


one of your best enjoyed
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
34 posted 2003-04-26 10:14 PM


vandana
Thank you and one of your longest replies.
LOL

Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
35 posted 2003-04-27 11:13 AM


Sy,  are you forecasting my future,  or
perhaps echoing some of my current maladies?

I won't tell....

Excellent and too right to point Write!!!

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
36 posted 2003-04-27 11:18 AM


At least it isn't arthritis of the brain!
LOL, you could always use that modern device called a tape recorder, then let some else do all the finger work.
Enjoyable. Great sand metaphor.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
37 posted 2003-04-27 11:39 AM


Magnus
Thank you my friend, always glad to see your reply.

Midnitesun
Something to think about, LOL thanks for the read and reply.

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