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Open Poetry #26
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2003-04-21 10:37 PM



I want to watch you over the rim
lifting my glass by the stem
tracing the shadowed planes
and fine lines of your cheekbones
pausing to inhale the bouquet
toasting the Pacifica
and the bay breeze that draws me in
as the sun wades in your eyes
fading behind you
I want to hold you there in the swirl
pressed against my lips where you linger
distilled in small quantities
condensing slow memories
aged in my heart
bottled up for all time
privately labeled
in celebration of you.

~*~


© Copyright 2003 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2003-04-21 10:45 PM


My, oh my!  This was simply fantastic writing, and of course I loved this...
quote:
want to hold you there in the swirl
pressed against my lips where you linger
distilled in small quantities

beautiful!

        

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2003-04-21 10:55 PM


HALLELUJAH!

Ye scared me, lass....wouldn't believe what my next poem was going to be....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

3 posted 2003-04-21 11:00 PM


Oh my, how i love to read you, never a disappointment
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

4 posted 2003-04-21 11:05 PM


'I want to hold you there in the swirl
pressed against my lips where you linger
distilled in small quantities
condensing slow memories
aged in my heart
bottled up for all time
privately labeled
in celebration of you.'

Cheers... !

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2003-04-22 01:29 AM


Mysteria~ Thank you for the nice reply.
A romantic at heart I am, never could
stay away for too long!  

My dear Lad~ Didn't mean to scare the pants off you.  Thanks so much for reading me.  BTW, that's a nice pic you put up of the Ratleader.

Edder~ Thank you for that, your kindness is appreciated, truly.

Thank you for making me smile Duncan~
tis my best side~  Don't even ask about
the other one...it's not pretty!  
~Cheers to you too~


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2003-04-22 01:46 AM


Wow! I could see this happening "over the rim" and "in the swirl".

A terrific write! and it's so good to read you Blues.

adding this one to my library.

Maree

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
7 posted 2003-04-22 01:54 AM


Now I know why it is good to let a fine wine breathe .....

    heard you were heading somewhere else,
    glad to see seasons change.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
8 posted 2003-04-22 02:02 AM


Maree~ You are just too sweet and always so good to me.  Thank you for your warm words.

Yes Craig~ I was...Now why did you have to go and remind me, right after I have gone and dug my way out!!
  Hugs, and thanks for reading.

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (04-22-2003 12:41 PM).]

KristieSue
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
9 posted 2003-04-22 02:11 AM


how very sweet and romantic :-)  What a fantasy...

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2003-04-22 05:04 AM



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2003-04-22 07:40 AM


I want to watch you over the rim
lifting my glass by the stem
tracing the shadowed planes
and fine lines of your cheekbones
============================
and the bay breeze that draws me in
as the sun wades in your eyes
fading behind you
I want to hold you there in the swirl
pressed against my lips where you linger

=============================

Oh girl..this is delish!!
Very cool use of metaphor and imagery to create this lovely poetic taste.
I loved the subtle sensual undercurrent that ran thru its adoration of muse.
Very well done poetess Blue.

You're the best I've ever felt ...
it's so wrong not to be with you.
It's getting harder to stay away,
it stops my heart just to be with you.

SH

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
12 posted 2003-04-22 09:29 AM


Bluesy:

like a fine wine
you breathe  . . .

Lucky you came back
would have come searching for you
Beautiful write Bluesy
*tweet*  xxoo  

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
13 posted 2003-04-22 11:18 AM


Sweet dreams are made of this~
at least mine are anyway.  
Thanks Kristie Sue

Smiling at you Dixie~   Thanks.

JM~ Thank you ever so much for your thoughtful reply.  
It pleases me to see you here.

Hey tweety~ A girl can only hold her breath
for so long, about time I learn to breathe
easier.     hugs~ and thanks.

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
14 posted 2003-04-22 12:40 PM


Intoxicated by you! Cool...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
15 posted 2003-04-22 12:44 PM


No, you are the Cool Daddy, remember?
Here's to you and all you do.
Thanks Larry Dear~

Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

16 posted 2003-04-22 12:58 PM


your poetry is always worth the wait

Rf

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
17 posted 2003-04-22 02:38 PM


Well gosh, no one ever told me that before!
Thank you very much Robert~

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
18 posted 2003-04-23 02:08 AM


Wonderful writing ... does it work with root beer ... I'm more of a root beer than a fine wine

really wonderful writing

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
19 posted 2003-04-23 11:10 AM


Hi Rex~ Sure, root beer works!
Just trade in the wine glass for
a big old frosty mug, and waaa laaa!
It's all in the sipping, and the way
it goes down.  

Thank you for the wonderful~

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
20 posted 2003-04-23 12:26 PM


Lori,

I can't believe I missed this.

It is special. Imagery and original concept, great.

Love the last three lines.

Happy day, Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
21 posted 2003-04-23 12:28 PM


Great words Lori, love to keep those vintages myself to pull out from time to time when it gets a little lonely
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

22 posted 2003-04-23 01:00 PM


I want to watch you over the rim
lifting my glass by the stem
tracing the shadowed planes
and fine lines of your cheekbones


Sipping the moment to savor the memories later...

you always impress me....

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
23 posted 2003-04-23 01:36 PM


Pat~ Thanks for being here to share
with me your open heart and mind.  hugs~

Raph~ I know all about those 'little lonely'
times.  What a great reply, thanks.

Cpat~ Hey, thanks for the impressive, oh boy!
I will take it to mean that perhaps I'm doing
something right after all.  
I'm so glad you enjoyed.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
24 posted 2003-04-23 05:03 PM


You do much that is right within your write.

The imagery is lovely, as is the sentiment.


I've been remiss in missing this....glad I found it.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
25 posted 2003-04-23 06:45 PM


What a nice thing to say,
thank you wranx~

Ivy Rose
Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300
MA, USA
26 posted 2003-04-23 11:37 PM


Blues Serenade...This is really a brilliant piece of writing. The imagery is powerful and just seduces the heart. Wonderful writing!!! Your talent is immense ***Ivy Rose
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
27 posted 2003-04-24 12:18 PM


~Ivy Rose~  
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
28 posted 2003-04-24 05:46 AM


There's little I can add to the previous comments. A stiring write, Greatly enjoyed!

And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand ~ Bernie Taupin

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
29 posted 2003-04-24 10:00 AM


Lori...such a sincere poem of heart....love kissed.  Much enjoyed!  
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
30 posted 2003-04-24 10:08 AM


Bluesy...
I apologize for being absorbed in some stuff lately. I missed this at first, but so glad it came by for me again.
I am truly blessed when these things appear in my life...the most precious little toasts to savor. You are a talented individual and I do enjoy, and become inspired by your wonderful insights. TD

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

31 posted 2003-04-24 10:20 AM


ummm....Lori....
when ya gonna teach me how to write like this???     Beautiful stuff gal....
your words soar

I must have had my momma's will
and Gods Amazing Grace...

I'm a survivor....
(Reba)

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
32 posted 2003-04-24 10:23 AM


BluesSerenade - a glass to your lips of mellow wine, your eyes seen over the rim. Lovely write, you romantic you...

BC

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
33 posted 2003-04-24 10:30 AM


Sounds like a vintage year.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
34 posted 2003-04-24 10:31 AM


quote:
and the bay breeze that draws me in
as the sun wades in your eyes
fading behind you
I want to hold you there in the swirl


This takes the poem
from the glass
smack dab into eternity...

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
35 posted 2003-04-25 01:50 AM


>

ooops, wrong thread!  OMG~
I didn't think I was that blonde!

My motto is, keep laughing at yourself
so that you never cease to be amused.

sheeeesh!

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (04-25-2003 10:28 PM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
36 posted 2003-04-25 01:54 AM


You guys!!!   Geezy mo!

Thanks~

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
37 posted 2003-04-25 07:48 AM


I want to hold you there in the swirl
pressed against my lips where you linger
distilled in small quantities
condensing slow memories
aged in my heart
bottled up for all time
privately labeled
in celebration of you.
----------

how very beautifully written...

Much enjoyed this one...

regards,
sudhir

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
38 posted 2003-04-25 08:21 AM


Ohmygosh!  I thought I had replied to this..
THIS is wonderful..left me with such a good feeling.
Great piece of work here Lori.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

39 posted 2003-04-25 10:23 PM


Oh, this is magnificent!  ...into the library it goes, and thank you for it.
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
40 posted 2003-04-25 10:31 PM


I do appreciate you all so very much.
Thank you, thank you~

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
41 posted 2003-04-25 10:41 PM




(sigh) Oh Lori, this is a very interesting way in storing memories, sweet friend, I love how you depict things, I don't know if I would want to put a cork on them and I would try to find a way to let them swim in some kind of inner-aquarium! (kiss on cheek) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

      
Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story

***Shakira***

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
42 posted 2003-05-31 01:46 PM


just awesome!
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
43 posted 2003-05-31 01:48 PM


God, this is gorgeous!
bottling this one for later sipping

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