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Open Poetry #26
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Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2003-04-13 09:45 PM



More to Life…

Get set,
get ready, go,
conquer…whole…

and then complacent
in your soul
did you look
beyond the hole?

We strive, we set, we
toe the mark,
we drive, arrive,
have set the spark…

we flame, we name,
and play this Game,
and then we falter
in fall of fame

no hall for us, our dreams
now scattered
and worn and raveled and still
we patter
about the matter of time to space
then fit and script the need to race

and more to life
is on our lips
at our touch through fingertips
as it lays upon our hips
and slows our race
in daily trips…

but our mind is sole provide
of guess and go and even tide
it’s the space that holds the place
that sets our grace an even pace
for in our mind
we suit the time
that runs the rhyme
and clothes our chime…

and still and though
I scream then sigh
I hold to gold within my eye
and think of when the day
I die
I see time long
and see the bye…

I see the briars and their thorns
I see the born and forlorn
then still I see the mystery
of what once was, and what will be…

and hold I will to what once was
no matter now, or what love does
to keep me sane or in sane, rule,
sometimes in common, sense is fool…

this come to grip,
this Life, this Trip…
this more, I find,
and more to life, I keep
in mind.



© Copyright 2003 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-04-13 10:14 PM


I loved it. Very thought provoking.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2003-04-13 10:22 PM


"and hold I will to what once was
no matter now, or what love does
to keep me sane or in sane, rule,
sometimes in common, sense is fool…

this come to grip,
this Life, this Trip…
this more, I find,
and more to life, I keep
in mind."


There is so much here Karilea..
So many layers and so much truth..
Into my library so I may ponder this more when I'm awake.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
3 posted 2003-04-13 11:55 PM


life is a definite puzzle and the longer I live the more persistent are the questions...nice go, 4th to last stanza could been another closure..just an opinion


Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2003-04-14 12:42 PM


I loved the way you did this one Karilea, did it feel as good as it read?  There is definitely more to life and I for one intend to live it.  This was incredibly good m'friend.


Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
5 posted 2003-04-14 09:07 AM


Oh yes, there is so much more! This is just beautiful and very much enjoyed.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2003-04-14 09:13 AM


but? y'never know when you're making a memory. I was thinking, there are people who have made a difference in my life that will never know it. A couple of them were complete strangers with whom I've never even exchanged words.

The thing is, we don't know the plan...and I like the idea of that.

And I'll get outta here before I end up caught in one of my fruit loop thoughts.

Hugs.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2003-04-14 09:14 AM


Karilea,
So much wonderful sense and nosense, You weave a fine rug.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2003-04-14 01:04 PM


I always know where to come for inspiration when I'm feeling blah
Neeraja
Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812
The Netherlands
9 posted 2003-04-14 02:12 PM


Sigh.... I wish I could write like that!!!

Neeraja

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
10 posted 2003-04-14 02:19 PM


I call a time out...... okay, wow that was a lot to swallow. Good job. Thanks for posting it.

(¨`·.·´¨) (¨`·.·´¨)
  ·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´
     *`·.¸.·´*
    Love Always
       Kellie

I TAWT I TAW a puddy CAT!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2003-04-14 02:31 PM


Karilea...what a wonderful trip with your thoughts...clever and charming!
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
12 posted 2003-04-14 07:30 PM



Karilea~
Now this...I REALLY love.
Love the rhythm, the rhyme, and the word play of this.
A wonderful write.
Big hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
13 posted 2003-04-14 09:47 PM


A clever read.  Joyce
Auguste
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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
14 posted 2003-04-15 05:45 PM


Goodness, love it when you rhyme!

The stars will shine when I am gone,
the earth will turn on as before,
the gulls, still race along the shore,
the morning star, still kiss the dawn

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
15 posted 2003-04-15 05:49 PM


wow...so much internal rhyming I almost sang this one...loved it, Karilea
hugs
M

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
16 posted 2003-06-01 02:45 AM


really a nice write,,,,,,

It's the quality of the complement that i feel, not the quanity.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
17 posted 2003-06-01 06:24 AM


You made your heart dance to your thoughts ..... the rhythm is quite amazing.
Love it.
Love you, Margherita

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
18 posted 2003-06-01 07:25 AM


and hold I will to what once was
no matter now, or what love does
to keep me sane or in sane, rule,
sometimes in common, sense is fool…

this come to grip,
this Life, this Trip…
this more, I find,
and more to life, I keep
in mind.



Very well put our Sunshine!!  


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
19 posted 2003-06-01 09:51 AM


Thank you Ethel...we try our best...

You heard the rhythm, Margherita...that's good, because there certainly was meant to have a skip that wouldn't stop...

Glenn, thank you for the bump!

Maureen, I'm glad!  That makes my day!

Auguste...when I can, I'm glad to share the smiles...thank you for sharing yours!

Thank you Joyce!

Vicky...THIS...seeing you smile...makes me smile.  Thank you dear!

Martie...hugs you!

Kellie...time outs are great!  Kind of ran away with you, huh?  Every now and then we should write breathless poetry...being carried away is fun!

Neeraja, who says you can't?  

Dixie, that's a very nice compliment.  Thank you!

Sy, I get my nonsensical sense from You!  

Karen, I'll share fruitloops with you anyday, as long as I can have the milk come coldest from the 'frig!

Patricia, may your cup always be filled with more!

Yes, Mysteria, my friend, it absolutely felt as good to write as it did to read now weeks later, thanks to Glenn...it felt Very Good!

Ecrivan, you're right..it could have had a quicker ending, but I sort of got carried away...

Enchantress, you know I love layering...thanks for noticing!

Julie, thanks for seeing the thoughts within.

Hugs all!

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