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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Nothing Within a mist of grey she waits Passive not reactive Neither stepping forward To grasp the hand of fate Nor turning her face away Instead she waits She knows nothing The greyness of sorrow Nor the light of hope She knows nothing Reacts to nothing Simply waits Sometimes when her mind Plays tricks she almost Makes a move Almost takes a step forward Or a step back Only almost But never quite doing so She doesn't hear the Murmurs of hope, love and life They call gaily constantly But she doesn't hear them She doesn't see them Their faces full of joy Eager to draw her out to life She doesn't hear the whispers Of nameless fears That crowd at her back Waiting to pull her down To swarm over her And take her to the place Where she will be tormented Forever by their unreasoning Hateful barbs of spite and malice Instead she hears nothing, Sees nothing, does nothing, Surrounded in a cocoon Of grey mist Where nothing Can touch her And nothing lives Except the nothing And so she waits for Nothing to consume her As it will One day Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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| © Copyright 2003 Krissy P J Searle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Glad to see you posted one for the book Krissy...I remember feeling this way a few years ago... hugsssss M |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
This is a very good book submission. Here's my vote....  "Love makes the world go around" |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Krissy beloved daughter of mine, there are times when I’m overwhelmed by the wonder and the magic that is you. This is excellent writing and I vote YES. I would even if you weren’t my darling daughter. You know I love it utterly utterly utterly xxxx And forever Mum xxxxxxxx You are clever my sweet little cabbages    Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Of course, it's a blessed yes... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Krissy, this is so very heartfelt, sweet friend, I hope now the sunbeam has shined through your heart as I think we all have nothingness days but we all have lively weeks too! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Krissy, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
a wonderful, though sad write. I've been there a few times myself.  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Instead she hears nothing, Sees nothing, does nothing, Surrounded in a cocoon Of grey mist Where nothing Can touch her And nothing lives Except the nothing This is simply superb, Krissy... I think one of the things that makes it so sad is that no one can describe this state of existence unless they've experienced it... or watched someone stuck in such limbo, unable to move... unable to return to the person they were before some event sent them seeking the cocoon of nothingness. An excellent write! *S* |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Krissy beloved daughter giving this a bumpity bump up to the top you go If I could vote again I would but I know I can't so I won't. And you know darling one if you keep writing as well as this people will say you can't be my daughter since you are too talented. Should I tell them darling you're the milkman's, or was it the coalman? No, I'd better not........ Love you muchly my sweet cabbages  Love you always And forever Mum xxxxxxxxxx  Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds but I can face the future with courage brave and bold Footprints In My Heart Kethry [This message has been edited by Marsha (03-26-2003 09:37 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
This one takes no prisoners with its truth-telling. I love it. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I feel like giving you a great big hig and saying, "There, there, you little darling! I promise you, things will get better...!" Peace, Love & Light, Earth Angel |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
But of course...this is one for the book!  ~Smiles & Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Well, I hope book publication will send some sunshine to dispell the gray mists. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
most wonderful writing miss krissy...! much enjoyed the read.. hugs, g "laughter is the shortest distance between two people" - victor borge |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Here's the milkman's vote!  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This surpasses anything I've seen you do, Krissy. I wish I had written it... Definite vote here!! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Nice to see your submission, Krissy... |
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ambrish Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257India |
a nice poem touching heart |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
DarlingKrissy~ Can I say ... WONDERFUL ? Why, of course I can !! And soooooooooooo ... I do ! 'Instead she hears nothing, Sees nothing, does nothing, Surrounded in a cocoon Of grey mist Where nothing Can touch her And nothing lives Except the nothing' Eloquently said dearie~ And I love BSquirrels comment ! Yes !Love and lots of *Huglets* to you my girlie~ Missing you muchly, I am~ *HUGLETS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Thank you everyone I think that you are all so kind and I love you all so dearly. Thank you for all you are and all your beautiful words. love and warm stuff as always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Well done, Krissy. I see this in another way, to me it was the story of woman in a long coma. See how we all read things differently. Sandra |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Very good write. - Cody - |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Very good write. - Cody - |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Krissy~ So touching and emotional. If asked I couldn't pick out my favorite part of this, because I loved it all. Great...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Was there a few time myself, its amazing how you described these "nothing" so well.........thank you for sharing ((hugs)) Charisma |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Of course this is very sad but very well written. My vote is yes. Joyce |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Krissy my darling daughter, just giving you a little bumpity bump. You know darling one, this has the most amazing phrasing, it really is a superb piece of writing. Makes me wish I could do free verse, but everyone knows I can’t, I’ll leave the clever stuff to you little cabbages. Okay back up you go xxx darling daughter well done xxx and since you couldn’t be in the first book, unlike some I could mention. (Says mummy being vastly superior) so I hope you get into this one. And forever Mum Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds but I can face the future with courage brave and bold Footprints In My Heart Kethry [This message has been edited by Marsha (04-02-2003 07:56 PM).] |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Takes an awful good poet to write nothing like this and bring it to life. Powerful and expressive writing~ Much enjoyed~ |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
You got me worried Krissy, not seeing you around. I saved this one big vote for you, glad I can get rid of it now. Geesh, I missed your beautiful poetry. Big hugs and knuffels Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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pjtalty Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111W.A., Australia |
In my opinion, free verse is difficult to write -that is, to produce a good poem which calls on the emotions/intellects of readers. Some readers regard free verse as no more than "cut-up prose", but a well-written piece of free verse is definitely poetry. Your piece is a good example of free verse as poetry because of the way you have been able to establish a rhythmic pattern that varies from line to line with the thought and feeling of the moment. I particularly admire the way in which you have been able to make it attractive to the ear by repeated rhythmic cadences not usually to be found in prose. Thus, the tone of the utterence is controlled and varied by the varying pattern of rhythm. Read it aloud, friends, to see and hear what I mean! Good work, Krissy!. Thanks for posting. Patrick Talty [This message has been edited by pjtalty (04-08-2003 10:25 PM).] |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Krissy, I am so very glad that this made the book! Your mom showed it to me when you first wrote it. she was so proud and rightfully so! your writing has steadily improved over time, and now I must say you are such a brilliant writer! this is so gorgeous, one of your best to date! take care. amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
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Karilea - If I whisper, will you listen?...
