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Ron
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0 posted 2003-03-22 10:59 AM


This house is darker now, as candles burn past molten quick,
The furnace ever colder now, its flames infirm and sick.
A sheen of slowly drifting dust alights on all in sight,
And memories are not enough to warm this house at night.

Your picture hangs on shadowed wall, 'tween stains of sallow green,
As eyes that danced, in times gone by, trace movements yet unseen.
I know it's just illusion, caused by shimmers in dim light,
But memories are not enough to light this house at night.

Your laughter hides in every creak of every rustic board,
As house joints settle for the night with sighs I long ignored.
Your voice yet whispers through each room, but labor though I might,
The memories are not enough to hear this house at night.

This missing you remains a quiet, ever-spreading ache,
A hole that, still unfilled, fills every hour I'm awake.
How can something not really here, by dint of being gone,
Bring such an empty pain into my house from dusk to dawn?

Your touch upon my shoulder is a phantom of my mind,
I will not turn, I cannot turn, for fear of what I'll find.
The squeeze lasts but a moment more, and then, like you, is quit,
With just enough of gentle strength that I'll remember it.

I take a deeper, longer breath, then slowly stand and tread
Down darkened hall, past silent bath, then to my waiting bed.
How much darker, colder, silent, would my house forever be
Had I not known your name at least just momentarily?

The loss you left behind, the emptiness I'm going through,
Exist today only because they once were filled with you.
I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right.
My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight.

© Copyright 2003 Ron Carnell - All Rights Reserved
Crazy Eddie
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1 posted 2003-03-22 11:02 AM



GG
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Lost in thought
2 posted 2003-03-22 11:05 AM


oh my...
you penned what I feel... the kind of thing I won't let myself say I feel, anymore. Very amazing write.. fel honored to see it and even more so to vote.
*trying not to cry* ..should have warned us to get a tissue.
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

garysgirl
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3 posted 2003-03-22 11:09 AM


Ron, I'm speechless, but voting.
Crazy Eddie
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4 posted 2003-03-22 11:19 AM



The smile was for the fact that you’ve finally got around to posting a submission.

The vote was for the fact that the book wouldn’t be complete without a poem from the person who put it all together.

This second reply is just to say that I enjoyed the poem, it was well thought out, well constructed and well written.


Poet deVine
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5 posted 2003-03-22 11:23 AM


Anyone who has lost a loved one will be able to relate to this. Everything about it is perfect - emotion, meter rhyme. I too am voting for it.
Kit McCallum
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6 posted 2003-03-22 11:31 AM


Oh Ron ... this piece touched this tender lovin' heart this morning. I too have known this emptiness you've described so eloquently. Beautifully written ... I've got some misty eyes and goosebumps as I type my reply to you from this end.

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

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7 posted 2003-03-22 12:26 PM


Oh my, this speaks of the emptiness and pain that I have felt with many and I am sure so many more will feel in days to come.  I send my understanding, and acknowledge what a fantastically written poem this is on loss as well.
SPIRIT
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8 posted 2003-03-22 12:27 PM


I'm crying and I'm voting.
Lost Dreamer
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9 posted 2003-03-22 12:35 PM


I really don't know what to say, as tears stream down my face.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.



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10 posted 2003-03-22 12:36 PM


This blue screen breathes of purest passion and compassion with this post.
Ron, this is one of the most beautiful pieces that I've ever read, and I'm not just saying this because YOU posted it.
This poetry lives and breathes the essence of unconditional LOVE.

May ripples of LOVE
become waves of PEACE

GG
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Lost in thought
11 posted 2003-03-22 12:39 PM


I forgot to add this to my library
..not that I want to cry every time I go to my library... or maybe I do.. *sigh*

Always, Alyssa

Red
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12 posted 2003-03-22 12:53 PM


wow
Lighthousebob
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13 posted 2003-03-22 01:05 PM


Ron,

You capture the feelings of missing very well as your poem touches and harnesses our senses to every squeak and dying ember in the empty house and then you leave us thankful for the times once shared and those times of which continue to be shared through your dreams. A wonderful poem, filled with sentiment, longing, and promise and most deserving, I think, of inclusion in our anthology. Great job!!!

-Bob

whoops... had to come back to vote.

[This message has been edited by Lighthousebob (03-22-2003 01:07 PM).]

Earth Angel
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14 posted 2003-03-22 01:35 PM


Ron, I too, have felt such a loss, and in the still of the night, the loneliness has pervaded my very soul. I have not been able to write of that pain, but the held-back tears are now silently sliding down my cheeks as I read your words...

.....I am feeling much better now! The endorphins are kicking in! Thanks! I needed that!

---and I'm thrilled that this eloquent piece of writing will be published in Reflections! We're definitely voting this one right into the book!  

Peace & Love,
Linda

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (03-22-2003 02:20 PM).]

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15 posted 2003-03-22 01:39 PM


You got my vote Ron. Memories are wonderful.

~Liz

Waited on a line of greens and blues, just to be the next to be with you..
~Mr. Big

Enchantress
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Canada eh.
16 posted 2003-03-22 01:49 PM


I know this feeling all too well..
Extremely well done poet sir.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

wranx
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17 posted 2003-03-22 02:10 PM


A vote for this write...these feelings...this woman.

And a hope that the new book will have a dedication to her.

Nan
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18 posted 2003-03-22 02:21 PM


A smile and a hug... a hug and a smile... and another hug...
Marge Tindal
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19 posted 2003-03-22 02:27 PM


Ron~

'Your touch upon my shoulder is a phantom of my mind,
I will not turn, I cannot turn, for fear of what I'll find.
The squeeze lasts but a moment more, and then, like you, is quit,
With just enough of gentle strength that I'll remember it.'


Printed and hanging on my remember wall~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com                         

catalinamoon
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20 posted 2003-03-22 02:47 PM


Fantastic,Ron. Glad to see you put something in the book. This has a strong, heart touching feel.
Sandra

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21 posted 2003-03-22 02:55 PM



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22 posted 2003-03-22 03:04 PM




(big huggggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, I am delighted you have submitted as I wanted to say how this touched me so as I know it would for all who inevitably cope with a loss at some point! (wipes tears) My heart goes out to you as you truly are a wonderfully loviung and compassionate person and you write of the truth of these feelings we ever feel so much and this poem is truly remedy to the heart and soul! God Bless You, sweet friend, you most graciously have my proud vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

SimplyGold
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23 posted 2003-03-22 03:07 PM


Ron,

This is most touching, the pain lays upon the paper for me to see. It helps to touch it, feel it and be able to put it down to rest. You have expressed this emptyness too well!

Excellent.

SG

Chanson
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24 posted 2003-03-22 03:49 PM


"How much darker, colder, silent, would my house forever be
Had I not known your name at least just momentarily?"


Some people have the natural ability
to light up a place, a heart, and
their presence is a source of joy
and strength.

Her loss is tangible
as you pen expressively.

Hugs,
Chanson



When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Miah
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25 posted 2003-03-22 03:49 PM


This is a wonderful poem.  One I will keep in my favorites forever.
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26 posted 2003-03-22 04:09 PM


quote:
I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right.
My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight


This is really amazing....


Lauren~

I close my eyes and there in the shadows I see your light
You come to me out of my dreams
Across the night

Duncan
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27 posted 2003-03-22 04:10 PM


'This missing you remains a quiet, ever-spreading ache,
A hole that, still unfilled, fills every hour I'm awake.
How can something not really here, by dint of being gone,
Bring such an empty pain into my house from dusk to dawn?'

I thought of Lyra when I read the title and the poem brought back many memories from many homes.  Beautiful poem Ron.  

Dark Angel
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28 posted 2003-03-22 04:44 PM


This poem is simply beautiful and amazing and so are you Ron

Maree

vlraynes
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Somewhere... out there...
29 posted 2003-03-22 06:09 PM



Ron...I don't have the words right now,
but I have hugs and understanding...LOTS of hugs.

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Jason Lyle
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With my darkling
30 posted 2003-03-22 06:23 PM


wow, a nice rhyme, how cheesy, an understatement, I found myself reading the first time, rhyming the second, and counting syllables the third.
Nice job on three counts
Jason

Martie
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31 posted 2003-03-22 06:27 PM


Ron...Beautiful and spoken from the heart.  Touched so many feelings that I know and understand.  
Bill Charles
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highways, & byways, for now
32 posted 2003-03-22 07:01 PM


Ron - this writing is to touching to even comment about. I can't find the words to do it justice, except I can vote for it to be included in the book...

BC

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33 posted 2003-03-22 08:55 PM


"The loss you left behind, the emptiness I'm going through,
Exist today only because they once were filled with you.
I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right.
My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight."

It's a pity that you're so busy... your poetry is so beautiful and emotional, the kind that I love. I'd love to read you more. This is such a wonderful choice for our book, Ron. It's also going in my library.. it has a lot of meanings for me right now. Thank you so much for everything.

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

LoveBug
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34 posted 2003-03-22 08:57 PM


I forgot the button, silly me...

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

Justbleu
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35 posted 2003-03-22 09:04 PM


Ron,  
This really tuggs at my heart.  It is a beautiful and touching poem.....
I'm all teary-eyed now but, it was worth it.  

HUGS,
Bridgette
P.S. I'm voting and putting this in my library too!!!!!

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


Balladeer
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36 posted 2003-03-22 09:05 PM


It appears this poem has launched more tears than Robert Burns' Ode to an Onion!

On a serious note, it is indeed an excellent poem, both in substance and form. Excellent work, Ron..

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37 posted 2003-03-22 10:30 PM


Ron:  A really impressive poem, which I voted for.  Very moving and well written.

Betty Lou Hebert

WhiteRose
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38 posted 2003-03-22 10:32 PM


The loss you left behind, the emptiness I'm going through,
Exist today only because they once were filled with you.
I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right.
My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight.

This is sad, yet lovely. Enjoyed the feel of this.

Larry C
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39 posted 2003-03-22 10:36 PM


Ron,
My experience tells me you have experience on this topic too. But this keeper puts words to many unexpressed thoughts! Such an incredibly meaningful write. It fits the inspiration of this book so well and touches my heart deeply. I'm voting twice.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

serenity blaze
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40 posted 2003-03-22 10:43 PM


...shame on me.

sometimes I forget that I didn't invent grief...

Charisma
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41 posted 2003-03-23 04:49 AM


Crying, just because you translated so much feelings from deep inside.
yes I think many can relate on your words, thank you for sharing Ron

(((hugs)))
Charisma

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42 posted 2003-03-23 06:11 AM


Ron,
i like the way you varied the memories line  to suit the context in each stanza...thought that was pretty creative

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43 posted 2003-03-23 07:09 AM


Thank you, Sir...
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just out of reach
44 posted 2003-03-23 02:44 PM


Ron - you have captured the longing and emptiness of one's heart in loss so well, I have a lump in my throat. This certainly gets my vote. thankyou. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

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45 posted 2003-03-23 05:28 PM


I like the irony of the title... that she was never in your house, but her loss enters your house so tangibly.  "A loss has come."  I couldn't help smiling at the cleverness of those four words.

As for the whole poem, I love your use of repetition, especially how you altered each line just enough to make it distinct, and still stick with the theme.  The result is a flowing, light and easy read, appropriate to one whose underlying sentiments are the focus of the poem.

It is a sad situation.  Loss of that not tangible can itself be tangible.  I've felt this myself, so at least a little, I understand...

Lovely tribute, Ron.  And of course I'm voting.  

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Alicethruglass
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46 posted 2003-03-23 05:31 PM


I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right.
My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight.


I  love those lines. A very touching and tender writing, Ron. I could feel the warmth.

*s
Maureen

NewEnglandlazurlu
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47 posted 2003-03-23 07:57 PM


Ron, I am so thrilled to see one of your wonderfully written poems. The loss of a loved one is always so difficult and leaves a void that can never be replaced. You captured this loss incredibly.

Hugs, Marti

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.  A.Einstein

DawnG
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48 posted 2003-03-24 12:08 PM


Ron,

Thank you for sharing what is such an emotion that all of us are or have been dealt in life. This is an awesome write and I'm very happy you have chosen to put this in our book.

                        Dawn

El_Campeador
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49 posted 2003-03-24 08:32 AM


You already have 48 replys and about as many votes, but I am going to throw my vote in as well...

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

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50 posted 2003-03-24 10:10 AM


How much darker, colder, silent, would my house forever be
Had I not known your name at least just momentarily?

Such an eloquent expression of emotions that so many of us know intimately... but could never have depicted so beautifully.


rodger_jr
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51 posted 2003-03-24 10:13 AM


How could one reply to this piece and not vote? Beautiful, haunting, touching and sincere...oh, and by the way, I loved it
hoot_owl_rn
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52 posted 2003-03-24 10:14 AM


Laughing...I guess you get two votes from me Ron as I voted under Rodger's name by mistake. The downfalls of two people sharing the same computer Loved it anyway!!
Jeffrey Carter
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53 posted 2003-03-24 10:27 AM


"I close my eyes, brush tears on cotton, knowing it's all right.
My memories will be enough to fill my dreams tonight."

My God, do I know that feeling! Great write Ron, hope to see more from you.

Denise
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54 posted 2003-03-24 10:36 PM


Ron, I can relate to every word...*wiping tears*
Street Heart
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55 posted 2003-03-24 10:47 PM


God,Ron,if you only knew...If this is real for you,I can only say that I hope you have found at least some healing for this.You write so strongly,so directly and eloquently from your Heart here.No need to say you have my vote for this.Painfully beautiful.

Peace,Geoffrey  

If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living.

Martin Luther King,Jr. Detroit,1963

Janet Marie
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56 posted 2003-03-24 11:52 PM


This missing you remains a quiet, ever-spreading ache,
A hole that, still unfilled, fills every hour I'm awake.
How can something not really here, by dint of being gone,
Bring such an empty pain into my house from dusk to dawn?


======================================

Tis a rare treat that we get to read you...
as always we learn from the wise wiz
achingly beautiful heart on sleeve write poet sir.

"and when we get to the pearly gates ...
we'll find what we called our sins were just mistakes."

Tom Kimmel


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57 posted 2003-03-25 04:12 PM


A warm breath in a haunted state of being. Death and life. Speechless.
waldopepper
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58 posted 2003-03-25 10:55 PM


A very polished and effortless flow.  Your attention to rhyme and meter enhances the allure of your solid story.  I thoroughly enjoyed my way through it.
Sudhir Iyer
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59 posted 2003-03-26 04:00 AM


Exceptional work.... very touching...

Regards,
Sudhir

Alicat
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60 posted 2003-03-26 09:56 AM


The haunting refrain repeats throughout, and cycles through the stages of grief: shock, disallusion, disbelief, anger, sadness, acceptance. The quatrians, by their brevity, impose a breathless quality, as if the speaker is struggling to maintain composure through ragged inhalations, and speaks so eloquently, without maudlin verbiage, of the loss of a loved one.

You indeed have my vote, good Sir. I just hope you don't forget to send in your publishing agreement.


Allysa
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61 posted 2003-03-26 10:08 AM


wow.

"Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo

Paul Wilson
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62 posted 2003-03-27 08:30 PM


Ron... I will not try to describe what we all too often have felt in our lives. You have done this for all of us.
Just know that I truly enjoyed reading this and felt the sadness within...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

CocoBaci
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63 posted 2003-03-28 09:17 PM


A precious read...
Smiles2uPoetFriendRon
*~coco~*

BSC
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64 posted 2003-03-28 09:46 PM


So very beautiful Ron ~ now I know why I found my way back to these blue boards ~ to find poetry like this and feel the words.  I don't have the words to do justice ~ simply in awe.  Bonnie
Magicmystery
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65 posted 2003-03-30 07:15 PM


I am in awe.  I have felt this kind of missing too.  I remembered each of them as I read these well penned lines.
Sad and beautiful.

Sherry

Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today.

regards2you
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66 posted 2003-03-30 07:33 PM




Ron,

Simply incredible!
Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Angel
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67 posted 2003-03-30 11:26 PM


Wow.

www.enterthemuse.com  


Mysteria
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68 posted 2003-04-03 02:42 AM


You know I could not finish this the first time as smoldering memories started to set my mind on fire, as I tried so desperately to choke back tears that had been trying to escape for far too long.

I came back again and got this far:

Your touch upon my shoulder is a phantom of my mind,
I will not turn, I cannot turn, for fear of what I'll find.
The squeeze lasts but a moment more, and then, like you, is quit,
With just enough of gentle strength that I'll remember it.


I left again.

Tonight I actually made it to the end as I guess I will many more nights to come, with so many others that will read it and know they are not alone in their memories.

I thank you for this poem for it opens up the door to a brighter tomorrow actually.  Need I say it is well done?

JP
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Loomis, CA
69 posted 2003-04-03 05:12 PM


Hard to say "I know how you feel" cause one can never truly know... but I empathize and feel my own sweet, bittersweet, loss.

Well done my friend.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Suetang
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Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
70 posted 2003-04-04 03:57 AM


Hello Ron

This was simply outstanding and so much enjoyed.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

pjtalty
Member
since 2002-07-17
Posts 111
W.A., Australia
71 posted 2003-04-04 05:12 AM


This is a very beautiful poetic expression of your feelings while in the grip of grief for the loss of a loved one. The very nature of the theme is so deep that many who essay to express grief in this way assuage it, but spoil the quality of the end result through an excess of sentimentality. I am quite sincere when I say that, in my opinion, you have written a poem that produced a tone of deep sadness, so evocative as to bring the reader into a sharing of the grief with you. That is the hallmark of a poem that has escaped the flaw of triteness. Thanks for sharing it. I look forward to reading it in the anthology.

Patrick Talty

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
72 posted 2003-04-26 04:56 AM


Ron:

I just fell upon this one and
KNOW this feeling - I KNOW this so
well that I fell upon it . . .

Amazing . . . xxoo


Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
73 posted 2003-04-26 07:04 PM


Ron, this is a wonderful write, I really enjoyed each word till its end. Very sad, made me feel much alone when the house is empty, joy will take the sadness or days will turn to madness.
Heart felt.

Sincerely
Rick

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
74 posted 2004-03-08 01:41 PM



I'm bumping this one for a friend or two or three or more ....
and maybe for myself right now as again I reflect at the remembering wall~

Beautifully poignant~


~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

75 posted 2004-03-08 03:58 PM


this link was sent to me by our dear Marge, for she knew I needed to read this....thank you Ron, for writing it...
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
76 posted 2006-06-26 04:05 PM




Just cause today is another remembering day~

Ron ... this is a timeless classic~
Thank you~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -       noles1@totcon.com     

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
77 posted 2007-06-13 12:34 PM


you write so beautifully.

a great poem. few can write like you in this site. no wonder and poem site. you are such a good poet.

so beautiful a heart song

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

78 posted 2007-06-13 04:15 AM


All this, and he writes too.



amazing...

Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
79 posted 2009-08-21 06:17 PM


Bookmarked
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
80 posted 2012-06-12 10:48 AM


Every time I open my book, I linger on this poem and let the tears flow. Why did I think I could read it again here without sending kleenex stock soaring? *sigh*

It gets more beautiful with every read... more meaningful with every loss.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
81 posted 2012-06-13 07:55 AM


As I read the replies and see the names of those no longer with us, absent by either death, choice, or circumstance I find the title even more appropriate.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
82 posted 2012-06-13 10:27 AM


< Feels like whispering in here. I agree with Mike. I'm not able to be here as much as I'd like but there are still poems that beg to be read again and again.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
83 posted 2012-06-13 07:00 PM


I had the same feelings as Mike, when I chanced upon Suthern replying here once again...I am missing so many of my poet friends.

M

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