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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2003-03-21 04:33 PM



We picnicked upon boulders
cross-legged and triangular
feeding the hunger from the roots of our bellies
sun-soaked and drying like clothes on a line
abandoned to the touch of November.

Watching green
we listened for tomorrows
we laid out our yesterdays
and spilled laughter into the stream.
The sun spewed yellow in her resentfulness
flushing our faces and bleaching our hair:
Loneliness crinkled upon her lips.

We dipped our toes and shrilled with excitement
tadpoles once more became an interest
lizards looked on in amazement
as I did
through the camera lens at my friends
lapping up the pink of day.


© Copyright 2003 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-03-21 04:37 PM


nicely told...strong imagery and a nice flow to the words... left me with a quiet feeling..and a subtle hint of sensuality..

very nice work.. I enjoyed

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-03-21 05:10 PM


Well done, Maree...
I'm sitting here listening to the
SOUNDS this employs...

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2003-03-21 05:37 PM


Maree--I feel like I was there with you, sure would have liked to have been.  Such a good feeling this poem has!  How about a hug and a vote?
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2003-03-21 06:20 PM




(smiles) I love the colors in this, sweet friend, you have to soak up those rare foreseen colors as that is where so much beauty rests! (kiss on cheek) I love this, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
5 posted 2003-03-21 06:54 PM


This is so lovely!
Especially:
"Watching green
we listened for tomorrows
we laid out our yesterdays"


Yes

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
6 posted 2003-03-21 07:18 PM


Yes this is lovely.  Joyce
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2003-03-21 07:45 PM


A bit of "happy" from your pen---YES.

Yer one luscious poet, yanno...

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
8 posted 2003-03-21 08:03 PM


Maree, another master stroke of your pen onto the page. A wonderful write.

[This message has been edited by WhiteRose (03-21-2003 08:03 PM).]

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
9 posted 2003-03-21 08:20 PM


Maree,
A chance for growth, I'll bet. Nicely done.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
10 posted 2003-03-21 09:03 PM


One of my favourites--glad you chose to submit it Mmy.

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2003-03-21 09:18 PM


Oh this is SO lovely...and yes... happy!!
kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
12 posted 2003-03-22 06:37 AM


Maree,
i like to look through those camera lens too...pity about the sun though..

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2003-03-22 10:30 AM


Maree, this is a beautiful poem about
a beautiful tme with friends. I really
enjoyed it and it has my vote.  


"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~  
                  

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (03-22-2003 10:30 AM).]

DawnG
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Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
14 posted 2003-03-24 12:20 PM


Maree,

Amazing what those camera lenses can see isn't it?

                      Dawn

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
15 posted 2003-03-24 10:19 AM


My vote's included here
Flower
Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 240
California
16 posted 2003-03-24 02:01 PM


This is a very impressive write, I loved it and voted on it.

Love reading all these great writes.
I write not!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2003-03-24 02:11 PM


"The Pink of the Day"

I loved it.

Street Heart
Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349
Pennsylvania,USA
18 posted 2003-03-24 02:35 PM


I felt like I was there with you,Maree!
My tootses are wet!

Looking forward to Spring,Geoffrey

If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living.

Martin Luther King,Jr. Detroit,1963

SPIRIT
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
19 posted 2003-03-24 02:56 PM


A visual delight. Thank you.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

20 posted 2003-03-24 10:35 PM


Watching green
we listened for tomorrows
we laid out our yesterdays
and spilled laughter into the stream.
The sun spewed yellow in her resentfulness
flushing our faces and bleaching our hair:
Loneliness crinkled upon her lips.
==================================

LOVE that verse...the imagery and the personification are very cool!!
love the last line too!
Your poet's eye captured as much as your photographer's eye
well done poetess Maree.

"and when we get to the pearly gates ...
we'll find what we called our sins were just mistakes."

Tom Kimmel


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

21 posted 2003-03-24 10:43 PM


Beautiful, Maree! Definitely one for the book!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

22 posted 2003-03-25 03:51 PM


Oh, it's much more than a subtle sensuality in this piece of waking and waiting. Yum.
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
23 posted 2003-03-26 12:27 PM


My attention was captured by the title... and every word made me a more willing prisoner to your images... I was THERE. *S* Wonderful work!!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

24 posted 2003-03-26 03:18 PM


Cpat
thank you so much for your lovely reply; happy that you enjoyed.

Sunshine
Thanks sweetie

Martie
I would have loved for you to have been there..you would've loved it. I'm always up for one of yor hugs Martie and thanks for the vote. hugs back.

Noah,
So glad you enjoyed sweet one. Thank you.

Chanson
Thank you so very much

Joyce
Thank you for stopping by and am happy you liked.

Hey Sen..
Yep a happy poem, they find themselves over to me occasionally heh. Thank you Gorgeous

Ms Rose
Thank you for your always lovely replies m'dear.

Larry
indeed, yes indeed. Thank you!

Jamie
One of my favourites too m'friend.. I remember our discussion on this poem and how you advised me to remove "rocks" heh.. thanks


Enchantress... thank you

Kaile, yes pity about the sun indeed. Thank you.

garysgirl.. thank you for stopping by and having a read, and for your lovely reply and vote. much appreciated.

Dawn... yep amazing indded. thank you.

Ruthie... thank you baby hugs

Flowr.. Hi... and thank you very much for your lovely reply and yor vote.

Susan... Thank you so very much.

Geoffrey...so glad you enjoyed m'friend. *hugs*


SPIRIT..You're most welcome and Thank you.

JM.. you always humble me with your lovely replies dear lady. I thank you.

Denise... thank you.

bsquirrel, glad you enjoyed it and thank you.

Suthern... so glad you were able to make it...Thank you so much for your lovely reply.

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
25 posted 2003-03-29 01:20 AM


Enjoyed this a lot.....The title caught me and drew me in!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown


BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
26 posted 2003-03-29 01:29 AM


Hi Maree~ What a nice snapshot this was, the surroundings are so life like and all.

Good job with the special effects.  

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

27 posted 2003-03-29 04:41 PM


Just found this...I'm liking it...

huggles..

K

Alicethruglass
Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368

28 posted 2003-03-29 04:53 PM


Watching green
we listened for tomorrows
we laid out our yesterdays
and spilled laughter into the stream.


I could feel your words...brought me a smile of memory

~A~

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
29 posted 2003-03-30 12:30 PM


"cross-legged and triangular
feeding the hunger from the roots of our bellies
sun-soaked and drying like clothes on a line
abandoned to the touch of November."
________________

And what a photograph your pen takes..I could envision, hear and feel every word...I'm in awe of this!  This definately deserves to be in the book

Melissa~

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
30 posted 2003-03-30 09:32 AM


A tale told as only Maree can do... Very nicely done, m'friend...

BTW - My niece is officially a temporary Aussie now... She's loving it...

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
31 posted 2003-03-30 01:15 PM


DarkAngel~
I REALLY like it~

Glad the polling booths are open on Sunday here~

Now, take a gander at this -
Your thoughts seem to mirror my reflections caught in the camera lens~

/pip/Forum39/HTML/001720.html

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com                        

Paul Wilson
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Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
32 posted 2003-03-30 11:46 PM


Dark Angel~ Very up lifting poem of happy days spent with friends.Enjoyed...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

33 posted 2003-03-31 05:06 AM


Thank you all so very much, I've been away in the last 4 days and it's nice to returns to your lovely comments and support.

hugs

Maree

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
34 posted 2003-03-31 06:22 AM


yes, yes, YES

wonderful poem... wonderful choice...

lapping up this one....

regards,
sudhir

KristieSue
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
35 posted 2003-03-31 10:59 AM


sounds like a very lovely day! :-)

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

36 posted 2003-03-31 03:40 PM


Sudhir... thank you m'friend

Kristie Sue...yes it was a beautiful day.

Thank you both for your lovely reply.

Maree


Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
37 posted 2003-04-01 03:57 PM


I smiled at this one. I could see it and feel it. I love the way you use language in it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
38 posted 2003-04-03 04:28 PM


excellent imagery, well done. well done indeed.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
39 posted 2003-04-03 06:27 PM


I wish I had gotten to this delightful poem sooner but better late than never! I am pleased that it made it into Reflections. I truly enjoy poetry such as this. It is a feel good read...and you have me eagerly anticipating summertime--picnics and times at the beach with my friends..."just lapping up the pink of the day".     

Love & Light,
EA

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (04-03-2003 06:29 PM).]

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