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Allysa
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Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2003-03-18 10:48 AM


I thought I saw the truth
in the raindrops falling
rapidly from my face
but I realized it was you
who was afraid of leaking,
not me.

She says the night encompasses
the dimness in the raindrops
and so they shine as they fall
but she does not know
the dark truth they whisper to me
when I am alone.

The demon god can fly, they said
and he took me for a ride
one day when the moon was
full and bright, shining
on my water-streaked face
and the truth was in
the raindrops.

She said she cannot comprehend
the complex concept he presents
she cannot completely fill
her own heart with compassion
and love him-
so she lies and says
the truth is in the raindrops.

The demon god can fly, they said
and he has come for our virgins,
and the weeping willow tree
spoke softly in a dream and said
she'd seen it all, yes, she knew it all before
I could understand it disappeared
and left me here
with a leaking cloud above my head.

And you once proclaimed
that you watched me dance with you
in the rain the day you walked me home
dripping down the street and you held my hand,
the day I discovered
that the truth is in the Raindrops.

[This message has been edited by Allysa (03-19-2003 05:30 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2003-03-18 10:55 AM




(smiles) I think more specifically, it is in the teardrops one cries that mingles with the rain, where the salts and the water merge together in some kind of alchemistic spell of understanding! (big huggggsssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, this has my rainy vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Alyssa, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Jeffrey Carter
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Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
2 posted 2003-03-18 11:27 AM


This is truly a beautiful piece of writing, so melacholy, yet, uplifting at the same time. And the phrase "left me standing here with a leaking cloud above my head" only a poet could come up with that LOL

I really enjoyed this one

Jeff

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-03-18 11:35 AM


Very thought provoking write..much enjoyed!

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-03-18 01:01 PM


came back to vote for this gem again.

  

If I am right ... if I can be ...
constant and faithful ... you'll find me

TC

Flower
Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 240
California
5 posted 2003-03-18 01:11 PM


Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!

Love reading all these great writes.
I write not!

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
6 posted 2003-03-18 05:00 PM


This gives one more than a moments pause. Very nicely done.
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2003-03-18 08:03 PM


I liked this one a lot.  Very good write!

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
8 posted 2003-03-18 08:11 PM


There's just something about the rain ...

Enjoyed the read, Allysa

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Alicethruglass
Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368

9 posted 2003-03-19 10:14 AM


she does not know

the dark truth they whisper to me

when I am alone.


good lines

*s

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
10 posted 2003-03-19 10:23 AM


A must for the book Allysa, nicely done.
Jason

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
11 posted 2003-03-19 12:00 PM


Alyssa - this is just amazing:

but I realized it was you

who was afraid of leaking,

not me.

so very true, my friend - yes Jason - definitely a must xxoo

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

12 posted 2003-03-19 03:39 PM


Revote!
aliisabeatle
New Member
since 2003-03-19
Posts 4

13 posted 2003-03-19 05:16 PM


I definitely can relate to this one and look forward to seeing you in this book....
AnonomousHippie
Junior Member
since 2003-02-21
Posts 10

14 posted 2003-03-19 05:28 PM


revote
kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
15 posted 2003-03-20 05:26 AM


did i mention that i like the way you title your work?
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
16 posted 2003-03-23 02:46 PM


Thank you everyone who voted for this!!!

"Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

17 posted 2003-03-25 07:58 AM


I thought I saw the truth
in the raindrops falling
rapidly from my face
but I realized it was you
who was afraid of leaking,
not me.


great opening lines.. truly enjoyed

KristieSue
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
18 posted 2003-03-25 08:41 AM


that's very honest, very thought provoking...

great job

and why can't I vote????

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

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