It Snowed In My Sleep - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

0 posted 2003-02-21 05:22 PM

“I’m going to die,” I cried,
as I wept into my pillow.
“I’m going to die.”
The words came again.
“I’m going to die.”
Whispers muffled in my sheets.

Parity is no longer an abstract idea
That I play with in idle times.
It dogs me, prods me, infuriates me
with its unattainable smile.
Parity floats away through the breeze strewn grass.

It crept in when I was sleeping,
slammed into my chest with such fervor,
such fury that I cried out, but never woke.
Fever wrought dreams burned into my mind
for hours of restless tossing,
I woke to the shake of a friendly hand.

“I’m going to die,” I cried,
and wept in the darkness.
“I’m going to die.”
The words repeated again.
“I’m going to die.”
Silent screams in the night.

The hospital lights melted my eyes
as I roused to a sterile whiteness.
Weakness rolled through my body
in a nauseous wave, head to toe.
Mechanical beeps, air forced pumps,
and my own pain filled whimpering
echoed off tiled floors, painted walls.

Teardrop laced fabric
brushed against my puffy cheek
when I rolled onto my side.
The frosty windows stared back
into blurry, innocent eyes.

“I’m going to die,” I cried
as I wept into Mother’s arms.
“I’m going to die.”
The words wouldn’t leave.
“I’m going to die.”
A resigned sigh, so pained.

He said I should go home,
his white coat flipping in tune
with the hum of an overhead fan.
His apologies said he wanted to help.
Mother held her tears;
she was strong for me
as she pushed my chair
through the quiet house.

Moment by moment, the seconds pass
with each drawn breath,
each spasmodic beat of a dying heart.
It ate at me while my friends came;
it tormented me as I whispered with my family.
The snowy winter world is as dismal
As my gloomy mentality.
I can’t fight the pain.

“I’m going to die,” I cried
as I drifted off to sleep.
“I’m going to die.”

A final breath into silence.

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

1 posted 2003-02-21 05:46 PM

Having lived a few "I'm going to die" moments, I was drawn deeply into this poem.

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

2 posted 2003-02-21 05:47 PM

This is such a haunting piece... the way you tell this story is just so wonderful. It's a depressing one, but it's well done. You have my vote!

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-02-21 06:24 PM

(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Philip, this is powerful, sweet friend, it is depressing but well-said, the repetition of the heart-aches makes this poem far more poignant, BRAVO!!! (big hugggssssss) I send heart hugs and my proud vote your way, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Philip, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2003-02-21 07:42 PM

Quite sad Philip..but extremely well done.
~hugs and a vote~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

5 posted 2003-02-21 08:02 PM

the repetition is what took me there and held me there, and gets my vote too. Well done Phillip.

~* Carpe' Diem *~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2003-02-21 08:46 PM

gee! How'd ya know? this is one of my favorites of yours!

Hugs to ya, sweet thang...

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

7 posted 2003-02-21 10:10 PM

I held my breath while reading this poem. It's a blow to the heart...and worthy of being in the book.

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

8 posted 2003-02-22 12:16 PM

Intense piece of work here mister.....this made me think of my Dad as I read this...he died of a massive stroke in the hospital and it makes me wonder if he knew what was happening as he drifted off....I found out later that I was the last person other than medical people to talk to my Dad before he went unconscience....on the phone he told me he was cold....and said something about not being able to do anything.

THIS SHOULD BE IN THE BOOK.....

VERY GOOD!!!!

Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

9 posted 2003-02-22 12:49 PM

Wow...this is extremely powerful and so very well written.
An excellent choice for book submission.
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

10 posted 2003-02-22 01:42 PM

Well done

~Every girl has a dream within.

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

11 posted 2003-02-23 10:07 AM

very interesting thought process..I often wonder if people know when they're dieing..is it something that haunts them and they can't get the words out...do they watch the world around them fade away..

hmm..very thought provoking..

hugs, g

"laughter is the shortest distance between two people" - victor borge

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

12 posted 2003-02-24 01:40 PM

You just have a way about that pen of yours, MI...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

13 posted 2003-02-26 01:15 AM

This really touched me.

Maree

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

14 posted 2003-02-26 01:29 AM

"He said I should go home,
his white coat flipping in tune
with the hum of an overhead fan."

HMMM. I could see this scene. Left me with a chill.
Well done. BTW, aren't you older now? LOL

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

15 posted 2003-02-26 02:14 PM

Intense.

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

16 posted 2003-03-02 01:38 PM

This is excellent writing, it had me drawn in from the beginning, and left me pondering what a great poem it is.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

17 posted 2003-03-02 02:34 PM

This made me feel as though I was looking inside someone's mind. It made me wonder about some of the last things my husband said before he died. He told me that he had to go "home" before he died. I knew what he meant when he told me that he didn't want to leave me. So, yes, people do know when they're dying.

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~

DawnG

Senior Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 1494
United States

18 posted 2003-03-02 02:52 PM

Lost Dreamer referred me to this poem and boy am I glad she did. You too gripped me from the first line and had me closely intwined until the very last word. This poem is extremely powerful and definately deserves a place in the book.

Dawn

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

19 posted 2003-03-07 12:04 PM

Very intense, Philip...thank
you for the glimpse...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

20 posted 2003-03-07 03:22 PM

---I'm glad you didn't!...Gosh, your recreation of that experience is so realistic!

Warm hugs,
Earth Angel

KristieSue

Senior Member

since 2003-01-31

Posts 1460
PA, US

21 posted 2003-03-07 03:33 PM

I expected something totally different when I read the title. I was going to make some off the cuff comment on the snow being your fault...

and now I feel like weeping. I spent the entire day yesterday wondering what my cousin felt like in her last hours, and today I think I got my answer. Although I think she died a little more peaceful than that, I'm sure the thought is still as haunting.

You created such emotion in me...and definitely have my vote.

well done!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

22 posted 2003-03-09 07:19 PM

"The snowy winter world is as dismal
As my gloomy mentality.
I can’t fight the pain."

it seemed a painful write..left me questioning a bit..
M

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

23 posted 2003-03-18 12:00 PM

Painful, powerful, good. Gets my vote.

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

24 posted 2003-03-23 05:06 AM

mmmm thought I already voted for this one, but noticed I didn´t. Glad I clicked on this one, so my vote is in now

Charisma

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

25 posted 2003-03-23 09:41 AM

"Parity is no longer an abstract idea
That I play with in idle times.
It dogs me, prods me, infuriates me
with its unattainable smile.
Parity floats away through the breeze strewn grass."

The images, the clarity ... I luv it, MI.
I luv your hat too

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

26 posted 2003-03-27 10:21 AM

Bump.....

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.