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skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars

0 posted 2003-02-19 09:22 PM


Emptiness comes rushing in
As happiness fades out
No one now is here with him
No one hears him shout.
He says his life is perfect
And that everything is great
Everybody loves him
But for himself he feels hate.
He stares into the mirror
And glares at his reflection
He’s screwed up so many times
No chance now for perfection.
Nothing seems to work for him
Everything goes wrong
When things are looking up
They never last for very long.
People reach out their hand to him
He draws back into his shell
Won’t let anyone get close
Life for him is hell.
So now he sits here by himself
Pushes everyone away
Waiting for something, though he doesn’t know what,
And for another day.

© Copyright 2003 Elizabeth Costello Larson - All Rights Reserved
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
1 posted 2003-02-19 09:34 PM


This is a very real piece....there are sooo many people that are locked inside like this.  And in varing degrees.  Very sad piece!!!  

Bridgette

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-02-19 11:20 PM


Very heartfelt piece. I really liked it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-02-19 11:24 PM


Excellent and a perfect choice for the book.
Gets my vote!
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2003-02-20 12:36 PM




(big hugggsssssssss) Oh Elizabeth, this is so sad but true, sweet friend, I see this ever so much and believe true happiness begins with yourself and I think so many doubt themselves at first and believe they can find joy in others! (sad sigh) This illustrates the real meaning of joy, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Elizabeth, you have my vote, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Charisma
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lost in blue pages
5 posted 2003-02-21 04:32 AM


Enjoyed the read

Charisma

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
6 posted 2003-02-21 07:50 PM


Sure speaks to those lacking confidence well, and you got my vote!

          
~* Carpe' Diem *~  

Joyce Johnson
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Washington State
7 posted 2003-02-21 07:53 PM


Lots of feeling here and true to some sad lives.  Joyce
Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2003-02-21 08:42 PM


Extremely poignant piece and definitely book worthy.

          
~* Carpe' Diem *~  

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

9 posted 2003-02-22 10:11 AM


A powerful and heartfelt poem.  Great job.

"If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"
-- Magus
"there is no good and evil, there are just sides."
-- Local Parasite

SEA
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since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2003-02-22 10:18 AM


there is so much of this, that folks I'm sure, can relate to...yes, this is very very real....I like it
aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
11 posted 2003-02-22 11:35 AM


well done!

~Every girl has a dream within.

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
12 posted 2003-02-22 11:39 AM


You had something to say, and we were all listening. Beautifully written.

Warm morning hugs,
Earth Angel

P.S. Love your user name!

Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
13 posted 2003-02-22 10:25 PM


The emptiness and happiness
reads like the ebb and flow
of the tides.
Nice. *s

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
14 posted 2003-02-22 10:50 PM


Thank you to all who voted and commented! I appreciate it lots.

--Liz

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got...
--Sheryl Crow

LoveBug
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15 posted 2003-02-23 10:01 PM


What a sad situation you wrote about... but a good story that needs to be told!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

garysgirl
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Florida, USA
16 posted 2003-02-23 11:36 PM


Even though this is sad, it written very beautifully. A good book submission...

Ethel

Poet deVine
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since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
17 posted 2003-02-26 11:57 PM


It's very hard to want something..but not know what exactly you want. Life..sigh...I like this.
nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
18 posted 2003-03-01 06:45 PM


that poem could be about me...very nice work
and a good choice.
M

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
19 posted 2003-03-01 09:53 PM


I know this man and you portray him very well....
skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
20 posted 2003-03-10 11:40 AM


Thank you! Everyone knows a person like this. In fact, I think that everyone IS a person like this at one time or another. Thanks again for your words, everyone, I appreciate them all!

Elizabeth


It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got...
--Sheryl Crow

[This message has been edited by skyshine (03-10-2003 11:15 PM).]

Larry C
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since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
21 posted 2003-03-10 12:08 PM


Elizabeth,
I remember that feeling. Excellent write. Here's my vote. Hope it makes the book.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
22 posted 2003-03-10 12:12 PM


skyshine
You got a winner here and my vote.

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

23 posted 2003-03-10 01:28 PM


A beautiful poem.

Kielo

I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing.

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
24 posted 2003-03-10 01:44 PM



Reflections should contain all ways
of how we look at ourselves, even
if it is from the inside of our
self-made shells...

Well done, skyshine...thank you!

skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
25 posted 2003-03-10 09:12 PM


Thank you Larry, Sy, Kielo, and Sunshine! I appreciate it!

Elizabeth

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got...
--Sheryl Crow

Auguste
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By the sea
26 posted 2003-03-13 12:19 PM


This is such a sad poem, very heartfelt, very real and honest.  I believe all of us at times have either had a friend like this, or have been through the same circumstances in a personal way.  This belongs in the book and will certainly have my vote.  Excellent, my friend.  Hugs to you
skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
27 posted 2003-03-13 11:10 PM


Thank you Michael! I appreciate your words.

Elizabeth

It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got...
--Sheryl Crow

FlyingCloud
Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 151
A little place inside my head
28 posted 2003-05-18 04:13 PM


I love the way this poem was written. It shows that no one can be perfect.

Always remember to forget
The friends that proved untrue.
But never forget to remember
Those who have stuck by you.
-Anon

Yitzy
Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30

29 posted 2003-05-18 07:49 PM


I can relate to that for sure, it evoked familiarity and a well constructed piece

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill t

skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
30 posted 2003-05-19 12:27 PM


Thank you FlyingCloud and Ritzy! I'm glad you liked it, and boy do I know not everyone is perfect....people like the guy in the poem need to realize it though...well, it was so neat to wander in here and see my poem at the top of the page. thank you again!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan
31 posted 2003-05-20 10:29 AM


I ought not admit this, I don't think, but  you could almost swear you had written this about me.  Except that nobody has ever liked me much and that I don't claim my life is perfect i just tell people I don't have problems.  I wonder how many figure out that I'm lying?  Anyway it's a very good poem and devastatingly true.

I don't know if today is a good day, or if yesterday was, or if tomorrow will be, but I'd like to think so.

skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
32 posted 2003-05-22 07:41 PM


Thank you teenpoet...I'm sorry to hear that you feel like this guy in here. Don't worry about people not liking you. The "everybody loves him" line doesn't have to mean popularity, it just means that there are more people who care about you than you know about. Well we all like you here at Passions so it's been nice to meet you. Well I hope you get everything figured out. Good luck!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

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