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Trivial
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Trivial |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle 
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Trivial Cool waters speak French while pebbles tan to the reality burn. Her fantasies are frivolous, composing done-before songs reeking of mock sighs. The canopied glow of candles creeps over his charm and canticles hail their free reign. Suffer consequences with no boundaries? Hear the cadence of gentle beats in lazy waving-- Easy comes the crest. Her fingers splay their confession while winds compose ripples of cheek-warmed highs. "Mon Cheri" She closes her eyes to the conjuring, to the compelling Live! Live! The futility in his voice is unmistaken; the encompassing illconformity. "Trivial," he signs dismissively. [This message has been edited by Chanson (02-16-2003 11:03 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Dorene M. Harris - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Dorene, this is gorgeous, sweet friend, I absolutely love the dialogue, the gorgeous imagery, I could almost feel the whole scene like a Telenovela, with a gentle stroll down the beach in the scene! (kiss on cheek) This is marvelous, sweet friend, yay, you have my vote, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Dorene, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
A great compliment to a poet is when the reader can put themselves in the same place, time, or emotion as the writer. Thank you, Noah, *s |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
nothing you ever write is trivial *s hugs M |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
tres bon, mon ami....and I agree with nakedthoughts, in that there is nothing trivial here....just beauty in your words! Accept these small gifts from my gypsy soul, and let the magik happen! ~~S~~ |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
M-- Wanna bet? *hehe Thank you for reading! *s Sunnyone -- Very kind of you! *s [This message has been edited by Chanson (02-17-2003 05:31 PM).] |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Now this is just superb. You've really raised the bar with this post, I have to say... there's so much style about this piece that it compelled me to read as deeply as I could, trying to exactly place your intent. quote: It's impressive that you can take something such as this... an apologetic letter, and transform it into something so beautiful and heartfelt. The ending just grips... how painful it must be for two people to realize that there's more to be felt than what they have found. I wish I could do more than just vote for this. So I'm adding it to my private library. Truly fantastic work, I'll have my eye on your future posts. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. ~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (02-18-2003 12:53 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Chanson, I would be honored to be in the same book as you are. Mike |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Merci beaucoups pour cette bon piece de literature! Tres magnifique! Avec l'amour, mon ami, EA |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Local Parasite-- thank you for seeing the underlying, deeper meaning than the words convey. My intent was to play it cool, so to speak, and to edge my words with a scathing sublety. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying. *s bsquirrel-- I am honored by your compliment. Thank you very much. *s Earth Angel-- No no...It is me who shoud be and IS thanking you for your generous reply. Thank you muchly. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Cool waters speak French while pebbles tan to the reality burn. Her fantasies are frivolous, composing done-before songs reeking of mock sighs. The canopied glow of candles creeps over his charm and canticles hail their free reign. Suffer consequences with no boundaries? Hear the cadence of gentle beats in lazy waving-- Easy comes the crest. =================================== Absolutely outstanding...such a unique and impressive write. So good to read you again poetess Chanson...putting this in my library.  " ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ... |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Janet, a big and humble thank you to you. I am tickled you enjoyed it! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
wow! this is the first poem ive read from you [can't blame me, i'm usually too busy to read poems .. but when i can, i do] but this is simply amazing. the way you toy with your words and mix and match them. definitely worthy of the anthology. it better make it in there. if not, then we'll go on strike, me and you. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Christian, I can relate to not having time to read the poems. I'm in the same boat. I do appreciate you paying my poem and visit. Thank you very much! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Very passionate love making, I so imagined, with an illusive twist at the end that left me questioning the fortitude of such deceit. I love the nonchalance displayed here in your ending. Very well written poetry. -Bob |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This brought me up, then took me crashing down at the end with a big THUD!!! My vote is in.... Bridgette |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
A love poem so very beautiful and soo unique! The ending was a sad shock...you are masterful here! Ellie A friend hears the song in my heart, and sings it to me when my memory fails. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Lighthousebob-- Justbleu-- Ellie-- Three big warm thank you-s! I am very happy you enjoyed this piece! Thank you also for your kind thoughts. *s |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This is very good, beautifully worded, and very easy to envision. Sandra |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Thank you, Sandra. I'm glad you enjoyed it. *s |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'The futility in his voice is unmistaken; the encompassing illconformity. "Trivial," he signs dismissively.' Great poetry...you should post more often. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Dncan, Thank you! I am pleased you like it. I don't have the time to write more often...or, more honestly, I just don't make the time. Busy, busy, you know? *s Thanks again for visiting my poem! When you think you have heard it all, |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I am so sorry to say I missed your work before but I won't again - excellent submission. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Thanks sincerely for your visit, Mysteria. *s |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this feels so sad...will definately read this one again.... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh Excellent! Gets my vote! ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Sea, giving it a second read is a compliment. Thank you humbly. Enchantress, I thank you kindly for the visit and the vote. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
I have not read your work either, but I found in it a woman feeling so deeply for a man who does not..or cannot respond in kind. Very bittersweet. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Enjoyed the read a lot Charisma |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Ken-- You understand it spot on. Thank you kindly for reading. *s Charisma-- I am pleased with your visit. Thank you muchly. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
That's beautiful. It says so much. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Thanks so much, LngJhnAg. I'm pleased you stopped in with your kinds thoughts! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
You have masterfully composed a poem of love and it's trials....but with a bitter ending....The title captures it well... Nicely done, love the name... |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Magnus, thank you very much for your kind words. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
It's always a pleasure to read you, Dorene. Beautifully done! |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Denise, from one PA'er to another, thanks so much for reading and commenting. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This is the first I've read of yours, but not to be the last. You write beautiful free verse |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
hoot_owl_rn, thank you very much for reading! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very lovely visages you portray amidst a sagacious message to triviality...  |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Thanks Nan. You have me checking the dictionary this morning. *grin Thanks for enjoying. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I can't remember ever reading your poetry before, eiher. This is so beautifully written. I hope you'll be able to post more often. this is really wonderful reading...  . . Hugs, Ethel |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Hello Ethel, I don't write often, maybe a poem a month. Thanks muchly for visiting and reading! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Excellent poem. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Munda, hello and thank you for reading! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Ahhh... this is such an enjoyable read... particularly liked: "Hear the cadence of gentle beats in lazy waving-- Easy comes the crest" wonderful poetry... most definitely deserves a place in the book... regards, sudhir |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Tipping the proverbial hat in many thanks, Sudhir. *s |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
Deeply moving. my vote is cast. |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
This is a stunning write. |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
A very very talented submission! You have my vote smiles, Cher Poetry is: |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
jjote-- I'm pleased you were moved. Thank you! WhiteRose-- Thanks bunches! I'm happy you enjoyed. Cher-- Smiling back at you. Much thanks! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I certainly agree that you have the power to mesmerize with your style..this is excellent writing..and, as a bonus, it taught me a new word - canticle. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Ahh, many thanks, Balladeer. I'm pleased you visited and enjoyed. (I'm into music, mainly piano, and so I like to write "musically" now and then. *s) When you think you have heard it all, |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I would have sworn I'd responded to this... I know I meant to! *S* Excellent write! *S* |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Suthern, I welcome your visit very much! Thank you muchly... *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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