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She Was For Sale
| Reflections on the Web |
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She Was For Sale |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
She was for sale As were all things At the corner of Lou’s Loans. She’d worked others But somehow something always brought her back Age had waged its war With scattered scars scoring her skin But the curves still called While strobing red screaming neon nightlights Painted a rosy blush That feigned a more youthful polish. Suitors? Sure, she’d known her share Some good Most bad Only one worth considering. Her first But that was long ago A lover’s lost touch in time An echoed memory heard in those who’d come afterwards And now she faced yet another In a long line of hopeful but failed masters. This one would be no different This one was old Too old Old enough to know better But his paper was green And who was she to say “No”. Everything on Lou’s corner has its price Times it was right there Others in a dark ally Or subway Tonight favored a fallen down second floor flop The room’s singular distinction resting in a gold plated watch Fifty years in the making Keeping time next to a black and white flame Held by silver frame Long since lost to the hour Everything else was a gray wash It wouldn’t be long Nicotine stained fingers beating a ceaseless staccato And two bags of broken glass at every breath said as much No… Not long at all But he showed no interest in exploring his purchase Though upon the bed she lay Black leather suit stripped He made no play So she waited Waited through whisky-tea Smoking drags Coughing jags The rinse of red rags Waited Silently still Waited till Reaching out With tentative touch An amateur’s clutch? Virginity’s first? Too late for that thirst A surprisingly firm hand found her key Then knowing lips the source And from a long locked heart Sprang a soul set free To soar in true unity For it was he The one of many The one that mattered The one that set her soul to sing Her first And how her heart desired Her last As they made the love of the lost now found In late night hours that turn to morn Two becoming one With the coming sun Neither wishing it to end Each knowing the truth Not long at all Morning found her alone Cradled in the crook of his arm Pale lips dyed in broken glass Fitful fingers forever still Golden time keeping watch Till the lord came to call for past rent due Payment came from Lou Silver frame Gold watch And she The three The sum value of his life paid out Now standing vigil on the corner Awaiting the next hopeful buyer But she knowing There never will be another To match her soul Try as they might He died that night Everything has its price at Lou’s [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (02-17-2003 10:22 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) WOW, that is quite poignant, sweet friend, it is saddening ton see so many fight for their youth or realize life is slipping by them so quickly then you realize you become part of that fixation and wonder if you can ever clean yourself up again! (big hugggsssssss) This is very heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Andrew, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Sir Andrew...this one has my vote for sure, the imagery alone deserves a vote by its self  |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
MA: Thanks for the read and write. I suppose that's one way to look at this piece. Lady Hoot: Thank you as well. This is one I dug up from my past and thought worthy of entering. It is true, there is a lot going on in this piece and I hope others will see beyond the face of what is presented. Peace. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Andrew, this was a very interesting poem-story. I really enjoyed reading it, although it was sad to me. I feel so bad for the women (and some boys) who are caught up in this kind of life. I wrote a poem the other day about a girl caught up in this life after she left home with her boyfriend. It was totally fiction, by the way. It's on Open 25, if you want to read it. Ethel..  |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Garysgirl, although I appreciate your words and I quite agree, this poem is not about a girl. Nor is it about an alternative life style. In fact, the main character isn't even human. As pointed out earlier, there is much more beyond the surface to this poem. I'll be checking your's out in turn. Thanks for the read and write. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Way to go, Andrew...  |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Great story, held me from start to finish! Enjoyed. Sunkissed. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
deadly unexpected ending..and nicely spun tale..remember to edit to as too in 'too old' and a tick for this  |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
damned hard read. but it was great. -majnu |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Nan: Your mark is the coin of the realm and I consider myself enriched by your kindness. Sunkissed: Thanks for leaving your mark, glad you enjoyed. Ecrivan: Thanks for the tick and the heads up. I don't know how I missed that one, becuase I know better. Thanks again from a Canadian at heart. Majnu: Sorry about the difficulty in reading. It can be a tounge twister in places, but I like to use such phonetic qualities when I write free verse. Thanks for sloshing your way through and leaving your mark. So, anybody got any ideas as to what the main character is? Balladeer isn't allowed to play as he guessed right the first time I introduced this piece way back in the single digit forums. [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (02-18-2003 12:45 PM).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
hehehe ...and I still love it as much as I did then. Vote's in, Sir Andrew  [This message has been edited by Balladeer (02-17-2003 10:50 PM).] |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Nice poem. Enjoyed. My votes in. Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Ohh... this is amazing |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Sir Balladeer: My hats off to you as well and thanks for not playing. Conel: Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the tick. SEA: Thanks for the read and write. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I am completely stumped. I was so certain that I knew what this was about, and I'm reading it over and over again trying to figure out exactly what you meant. quote: Somehow I think this is a hint... I can't quite figure this out, but it's really got me scratching my head. I just might vote once I figure this out, but until then I'm not going to... I'd think it insincere to compliment something which I don't understand. I'll come back and read this again, and once I get it, I'll let you know. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
You've proven yourself wrong Scott. You do know how to write a stunning free verse! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I won't even hazzard a guess as to the meaning behind the meaning! I just appreciated it for its surface value! Peace, Love, & Light, EA |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Andrew~ I really enjoyed this. Gotta love that soulful sound of a Sax. Wonderfully done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This is simply superb, Sir! *S* |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Local Parasite: I complement you on not voting for that which is not understood. I wish more people would take such a stance, especially when it comes to politics. As for a clue to what it’s all about, see Vlraynes’ reply. I believe Vicky has the gist of it. Thanks for your read and write. Peace! Munda: Did I do that! Dang, I hate when I prove myself wrong. But then, I must have done something right if I’m wrong. Just as long as I don’t do two wrongs, cause two wrongs don’t make a right. But three rights do make a left. Maybe it’s time I left before I get it right and go wrong. Ya… that’s what I’ll do. Thanks Munda for setting me straight.  Enchantress: Thanks for the BIG thumbs up! Earth Angle: Thanks. Glad it succeeds at many levels. Vicky: Hey, hey! You win the Cupie Doll Prize! You are definitely in the groove. Suthern: Just like your smile! Thanks m’lady.  [This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (02-19-2003 12:37 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Before I vote for this one, I'd like to see you make this poem breathe more. You have wonderful thoughts and language here, but hardly any gaps. It's tough to read when the rhythm seems smashed together. Open it up a bit? Pause. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I really enjoy poetry like this....cuz, it can take on many different interpretations... touching individuals in so many different ways....I had a couple of different ones myself...but you mentioned that Vicki had the right idea. This is GREAT!!!!!!!!! My votes in.... Bridgette |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh man that was sad! I took it as a trumpet actually, and know that your poem is of a life that has been lived many times over to a lot of souls. You definitely get my vote, as yes, there are many way of taking this poem, and I have printed it now to go deeper or lighter depending on what I see the next time. Excellent write. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
I can't decide if this is a poem, a single page out of an epic, or a corner pub quiet moment with a story teller. And that's a good thing... because as any of the three, it's ALL good. (That means I like it!) *s Good job, Andrew. When you think you have heard it all, |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Bump.... |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
Wow, I have to say this poem is amazing. I have to admit that I didn't get it on the first reading, I read through the replies and found out the true meaning of this poem, and from that all I can say is Wow, and great job.  Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent. |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Ok Andrew, The first reading had me guessing it was a lady. But even before I had the chance to read this poem I'd been told to look for the deeper meaning hidden within. So having been told that I decided to give it a second read which had me guessing a flute. This still didn't have the comfortable feeling that I was correct so went back and reread and discovered maybe it was a harmonica. I really felt I was at least close enough to read some replies, but then found out I still wasn't totally on the mark and that you had eloquently described a sax. Great writing my friend and my vote for sure. Dawn |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Wish I could vote twice!  |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Bsquirrel: I like to take this poem at a slow-moderate pace. Reading it fast doesn’t give it a good feel. As for helping it breath, I’ll consider any suggestions you care to make. Thanks for your thoughts... I’m always willing to listen and react to constructive criticism. Justbleu: Thanks for the vote. Multiple interpretations are good because this one has many layers to consider. I’m always interested to know how a piece affects someone. Oh... and thanks for the bump! Mysteria: A trumpet could work just as well, although a trumpet isn’t really known for its curves. Now a saxophone… I’ve always liked that ‘S’ curve. And... sax and sex, well you make the connection. Thanks for the far-north support. Chanson: Glad it came across as any of the above. Peace! Lost Dreamer: WOW right back at cha. Ya, that first reading can be tricky… and if you didn’t get it the first time that just means I did what I set out to do. Thanks for your seal of approval. Dawn G: Smiles to you… thanks for the many reads and the thought you put into them. Harmonicas and flutes don’t have much in the way of curves. Thanks for the kudos and vote. Sunshine: Your words are most generous, though I wish you could vote twice too. But I’m sure Ron is watching for any ballot box stuffing. I’d like to point out that many saxophone cases are little more than black leather or canvas bags...thus, the line “black leather suit stripped.” I believe this caused Local Parasite some psoriasis. If anybody runs into LP, please let him know. I don’t want him to develop a tic. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I like this too much for it to get lost in the shuffle..... Bump.... Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Andre Brink |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
My guess is that it is a much traded car. But anyway you get my vote. Joyce [This message has been edited by Joyce Johnson (03-16-2003 11:26 PM).] |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Bump.... |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Justblue: Thanks for the double bump. But I must warn you that my wife gets jealous quite easily. Peace! |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Mmmmm, what a beautiful write. I don't think I've ever read anything quite like this. *smiles* The imagery was absolutely gorgeous, and when I read it again after reading Vicky's guess, it was even more beautiful. This should definitely be in the book If I love you enough will you feel it over the distance? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Just dropping in to see how the guessing was going... and to bump it back up. *S* This one still plays as smoothly as ever! *S* |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Goodness, this is superb.. I want to vote over and over...A most excellent write indeed. A pleasure to read. A must for the book. Maree  |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Andrew, I sound the trumpet. I enjoyed this metaphor greatly. I could be wrong but, it does not matter. You see it works for me and I can relate to the black suit that sits in the corner of my own bedroom. Excellent and I do hope it gets in. SG |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Bump.... "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
This is a beautiful, melancholy story, Andrew. |
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lorenlynn Member
since 2003-01-27
Posts 203California Beaches |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Just bumping this one back up to the top again....I love this poem |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
To one and all, thanks for the kind words and bumps. That you find my writing worthy of such attention is beyond expectation. I bow to you all in gratitude. Peace! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Extraordinary piece of writing, Andrew! Fabulous! |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Bump.... |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Andrew, I read this over and over again, even printed it out and highlighted certain parts which I never do with a poem, but I really wanted to get the gist" as you say of this! And finally I think I do A really excellent write that goes to the very core! I gladly vote for this piece and hope to see it in the book! I think my only suggestion if I may would be to put a little more pause in between stanzas, but that's just my opinion! take care. Amy "love is like a butterfly-- |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Aimster: Thanks for taking the time and effort... a true kindness. I too would like to see it in the book as I think this is one of my best efforts. As for making the piece breath, you are not the first to make such an observation. I'm not opposed to doing so, but I'm unsure how to go about it. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I for one read the piece at a slow to moderate pace, so it works for me as it stands. Again, thank you for taking such an interest in my poem. Peace! |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
This is well-crafted and brilliant and I don't have a clue as to how I missed it. My vote is in for this delightful write. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Scott...I thought I voted for this already..it's incredible! Voting now! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
will be back for another read! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Wow, what a ride! We're crazy if this doesn't make the book.......... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
wow I never saw the ending coming. How sad! Wonderful story ;-) Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
BUMP! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Wow. Vividly simple and stunning. Well worth the pages of our family's book. Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
BUMP! |
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Jeremy Halstead Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569Morris, Ill. U.S.A |
this piece...interesting...you paint a picture in such detail and vibrant color, yet a mystery all the same. I originally was not going to vote because I couldn't unravel the truth. However, after checking out vlraynes reply, I got it....incredible, so obvious to a more innocent soul, but not mine(or propably most)...loved it... got my vote. Jeremy Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love. [This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (04-21-2003 01:08 AM).] |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
quite a interesting write. holds attention |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
keeping this up there I haven't come across a poem of yours that I don't like. You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I wonder if there's such a thing as honorary inclusion.... Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Bump.... "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Lynda Member
since 2003-04-26
Posts 52Vic, Australia |
I have read and have been intrigued....I have solved? and questioned too....I need a picture or words that mean... or poem I have not seen... Lynda |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
she belongs in the book "But the curves still called While strobing red screaming neon nightlights Painted a rosy blush That feigned a more youthful polish." oh man, I really liked this imagery! play me again, Sir [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (04-28-2003 05:23 PM).] |
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junemac Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005uk |
i am sure by the time you get my reply, you will have had everything already said, but........ just wanted to say i am stunned by this, its truly a masterpiece. thank you for your amazing storytelling, june x |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I would truly love to see this in the book. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
To one and all... many thanks for the kind words and multiple bumps. It does a heart well. Peace to all. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
How many bumps will it take? Ron, oh dearest Wizard, WE ALL WANT THIS ONE in Reflections. PLEASE? |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Drew, So glad you revisited us with this one, it's been a long time. The title didn't jog my memory, but, after about three lines it all came back as fresh as the first time. The check's in the box. Doc |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Great story, wonderful written! |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I always knew you were a talent but this piece is amazing. I have to add this to my favorite list and read it several more times. Marilyn |
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