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Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England

0 posted 2003-02-15 06:32 PM



Accident of birth


By Peter J Marcroft

Unwanted, that was my fate,
Dragged to life from the womb,
I was to be cancelled, far too late,
Now my life is as dark as a tomb

How can you do this to your own?
Tell them that they should not be,
Your child should be loved not left alone,
The first sight should be filled with glee

Yet as I lie in my cardboard box,
Unable to talk but able to think,
Forever at the mercy of a ravenous fox,
Desperate thirst makes me crave drink

I am taken, by some who are old,
Into a silent place of rest,
“We will care for you.” I am forever told,
But I am sceptical and shall put them to the test

For years I am endured, their care great,
Graceful hands, wash my dirty skin,
I am forced to be here, forever facing the wait
Until I see her, who cast me aside like sin

For ten years I suffer, my new parents slowing,
Unable to run with me I play alone,
Their movement’s shrinking and disease growing,
Forces me to face the unknown

Five years on and I leave them behind,
Moving on with my own life,
Searching, for my true mother, her I will find,
Even if it means bearing great strife

Corner to corner, I seek her,
Chasing dead numbers and forgotten homes,
In the raining alleys I cry out, “Mother”
But my pleas are ignored like ancient tomes

It took me fifteen years until at last we met,
In a café in Paris she sat laughing,
I matched her face to the picture wet,
Dripping from the tears I was shedding

As I appeared a silence fell,
Crushing the noise like a heavy weight,
Our faces were hostile, as dark as the bottom of a well,
Her arrogance inspires within me, great hate

“How can I help you young boy?”
She asks in a tone dismissive,
Treats me like a forgotten toy,
Her manner totally passive

“I am the child you never had, thirty years ago.”
Gasps fill the air, at this revelation,
“How dare you! I want you to go.”
“Why? Afraid you’ll lose admiration?

From those you call friends at this table?”
I have caught her out, she mumbles,
Memories flow back like a child’s fable,
And her stone defence weakens and crumbles

“You do not know the pain I felt
I am so happy that you did survive,
It took all my courage to wrap you in felt
And leave you on that doorstep alive.

I was only nineteen and you were a mistake,
All the young girls committed my sin,
After lots of drink, love we’d make,
As a result, a new life would begin.

I struggled to look after you,
I toiled day and night,
Counting all the monies few,
And giving you food with delight

Please forgive me child, I never meant to hurt,
But the past is dead like your father,
Move on, find a family to start,
I know that you, would be a wonderful father.”

“You don’t understand what you have done,
You think I can forgive and forget?
Ignore the life that you did shun,
Is that the way my parents met?

Were you like me mother?
Forgotten and alone?
Did I even have a brother?
All I know is my life’s my own,

I should never have found you,
I was happy before, now I am sad,
Rot in hell and burn too,
For you see, life is not, a mere fad

I’ll leave you now, in this circle
Of friends that seem so far above
The life, you left behind, as a social miracle,
The one’s who stole, the mother’s love

They are ravens, scavenging on the weak,
Their actions like the filthy leech,
You too, are unable to speak,
That is no surprise, when your company can only screech

Obscene words about the classless,
People who can only afford rags,
But with them I had love’s caress,
But here there are only hags.

So it is time for me to leave you,
Here in the company of hags' mirth,
I’ll love and sire life too,
But the child shall be, no accident of birth.”

© Copyright 2003 Peter J Marcroft - All Rights Reserved
LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

1 posted 2003-02-15 06:42 PM


What a great message... we are not what we are because we are born that way, we make ourselves that way. Our lives are gifts for US to use for greatness, even if everyone else abandons and forgets you. The determination in this poem is very strong. Vote!

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.--Jesus Christ

Local Parasite
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Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
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Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2003-02-15 06:49 PM


This is a sad piece.  The subject matter is all too real... there are so many unwanted children being had every day.  On the way home from school there's this billboard that says "every day 6 teens in Manitoba get pregnant."  Every day... now that's just depressing, isn't it?

Have you read the link about Reflections on the Web yet?  Apparently if we exceed one page (30 lines), we need to get enough votes for each individual page... which means you're going to need 4 times as many votes as normal in order for this to get in.  You might consider going back on this one and instead posting something shorter if you're really interested in seeing your work in Reflections... not that I don't like this, I just think it's going to be hard to get 4 times the average in votes.

Good luck, nonetheless.  

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
3 posted 2003-02-15 07:51 PM


Yeah, it makes some form of sense, I think I'll take your advice.  Thanks for reading and all, I'll leave this on, but post another one of my shorter works
Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2003-02-15 08:48 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Peter, this is so heartbreaking, sweet friend, it saddens me to see so many neglect our children in the times they are growing up and need backbone and love to keep them strong and happy, regardless of the situations going on in parents lives, whether it is divorce, financial problems, or losses. (wipes tears) But it is also very true that this neglected child grew a heart by HIMSELF and because of his wisdom beyond his years he will only succeed now when so many struggle to and lose faith, my prayers are with all the children of the world, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Peter, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
5 posted 2003-02-15 09:57 PM


A very graphic sad read.Very talented also.ty
Jason

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
6 posted 2003-02-16 12:53 PM


This open up my eyes. Good write. I voted for you pal.

Maybe I am not praying...but I know...
You are always listening...to my soul...

RedTapePoetry
Junior Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 19

7 posted 2003-02-16 01:48 AM


this touches me in ways beyond explanation.... it just does, and just for that (and the poetry that is) you get my vote. Thank you.
RedTapePoetry
Junior Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 19

8 posted 2003-02-16 01:48 AM


this touches me in ways beyond explanation.... it just does, and just for that (and the poetry that is) you get my vote. Thank you.
Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
9 posted 2003-02-16 04:50 AM


I am very glad that you all liked this, one of my best pieces to date
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
10 posted 2003-02-16 11:08 AM


Peter, this is a very excellent poem you have written. My Love sent me a poem very similar that he had written about the aborted child being in the mother's mind and tormenting her until she had been put into a mental institution....very deep subject matter.
I hope it does get into the book.

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
11 posted 2003-02-16 06:20 PM


*shrugs* all depends on how many people vote doesn't it?  But thanks for the feeddback it is most appreciated
Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
12 posted 2003-02-19 12:48 PM


Nice poem, Nice to see some of your work. I haven't seen you here before.
Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
13 posted 2003-02-19 08:42 AM


Glad you liked it.  Other examples of my work are on the open poetry board #24.  I'll be honest I have not been here long, but so far it seems to have been a successful period
dhicks03
Member
since 2002-12-26
Posts 267
Missouri,USA
14 posted 2003-02-20 12:19 PM


This was so well done. Really draws the reader in to feel the pain, and the thankfulness to the acting parents.
Has my vote.

Dennis

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
15 posted 2003-02-20 12:33 PM


This is very sad....I really liked this piece!!!  I noticed a couple of lines ended with these two words that are quite similiar not that this is bad but it did catch my eye..."tomb" and "tomes"...Anywayz, Very good read!!!!

Bridgette

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
16 posted 2003-02-20 11:21 AM


Thanks for all your feedback people and I am delighted that some of you have decided to vote.  Wish you all the best in your own poetry, thanks for reading
Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
17 posted 2003-02-22 09:38 PM


I enjoyed this, Peter.

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
18 posted 2003-02-23 10:41 AM


I am glad you enjoyed the piece chanson, I'll keep my eye out for some of your work too.
DawnG
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Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
19 posted 2003-02-25 01:48 PM


Peter,

This poem reminded me of a book I read a few months ago. It was a very good book as this is a very good poem. I enjoyed a lot and look forward to seeing it in the book.

                              Dawn

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
20 posted 2003-02-25 01:56 PM


~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
21 posted 2003-02-25 03:06 PM


I am flattered that you lot believe this poem is good enough, having seen some of the wonderful examples of poetry that have been submitted I am full of pleasant surprise that this piece is so enjoyed
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
22 posted 2003-02-27 02:02 PM


Wow, what a poem I've just read, it takes the reader through many emotions which are expressed very well throughout this poem. I hope you make it into the book with this one.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.



Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
23 posted 2003-02-27 06:49 PM


Thank you for the positive feedback, the problem with this poem is that it is long and that means it needs more votes than those that are only say 16-30 lines
Magicmystery
Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
24 posted 2003-03-02 03:26 AM


very sad and very true what you write here.  I was an accident of sorts... or worse.... my mother saw getting pregnant as a way of escaping an unhappy childhood (to be a parent is to be an adult she thought) as well as exacting some twisted form of revenge on her parents for her unhappiness.  As irony would have it, she still had a lot of growing up to do and after one failed marriage, dropped my younger brother and myself on my grandparents, her parents who provided us with the best years of our lives.  All told, we spent  twice as much time there as with mother and abusive stepfather.  My son on the other hand may have been an accident but was no mistake.  I don't regret a single day of my decision to keep him and raise him  myself after a date rape conception.  And when I finally did marry, my husband accepted and has treated him as if he were his own.  My son knows the circumstances of his birth and has no wish to ever meet the one I deem as Sperm doner.  I saw pieces of myself as well as my son is the story of your poem.  It may be long but I do hope that you collect enough votes for it to make the book.  Maybe it could be double columned.  It has my vote.

Love, Light and Peace,

Sherry

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
25 posted 2003-03-02 04:52 AM


Wow...  I never expected that, I hope that my poem did not cause you undue pain (you sound like you have suffered enough) I thank you for your delightful feedback and wish the three members of your family all the best in the rest of your lives.
leighsa
Member
since 2003-02-27
Posts 74
Oregon, United States Of America
26 posted 2003-03-02 11:29 PM


I really admire this piece of work.... (tear)
It was very sad, but it was a letter to all.
I once knew a girl who had to  live Just like that and finally found the mother she never knew, She didnt even want to meet her father she herd so much about him he seemed scares......
I pray for you to lead a healthier life in the Future....
I wish you would check out my poems in reflections called One and A Hero...

Ashgiel
(leighsa)


Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
27 posted 2003-03-03 04:49 AM


Thank you for your response and I am glad things worked out for your friend.  I keep an eye on most work so I'll find it at some point
Enotneicna
Member
since 1999-06-06
Posts 340
Oakland, Or, USA
28 posted 2003-03-05 11:55 PM


This is a powerful and emotional piece.
So many babies are having babies and it's so sad.  There is also much strength here also.  You have my vote!

Many blessings
Always
Eno

Words are my medicine.
Read and live and love and heal!



Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
29 posted 2003-03-06 03:34 AM


Thank you for reading and the kind words, may you enjoy reading your poetry
KristieSue
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since 2003-01-31
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PA, US
30 posted 2003-03-06 07:25 AM


One of the most painful things in life is to realize (or be told) that you are not wanted by your mother.  I know the pain, but did not have to seek her out to confront it.  I just lived with it every day of my life.  I don't know if this was personal, but if it was, I applaud your courage to write about it and so honestly as well.
Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
31 posted 2003-03-06 10:15 AM


This is not a personal poem, it is my own visions of what it must feel like
Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
32 posted 2003-03-06 10:34 AM


I was happy to read that this is not your own personal story. It is amazing how you can write so convincingly! That is the mark of a good writer!

Warm morning hugs,
Earth Angel

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
33 posted 2003-03-06 05:10 PM


I am flattered to be called such a thing Earth Angel, rest assurred the mark of greatness is not believing they are great, it is believing that you can constantly see other works as equal to your own
Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
34 posted 2003-03-08 05:08 PM



It takes two adults to plan well...children should never have children...you have told a wonderful story...leaving a great message...good job, Peter...

Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
35 posted 2003-03-08 10:00 PM


Thank you for the kind comments
Magicmystery
Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
36 posted 2003-03-19 12:44 PM


Just a bump.  

Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today.

Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
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Washington State
37 posted 2003-03-19 02:18 AM


I thought I had already voted for this so better late than never.  Joyce
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
38 posted 2003-03-19 03:17 AM


very touching
Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
39 posted 2003-03-20 10:01 AM


Thank you all for the feedback
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
40 posted 2003-03-27 07:09 PM


momentarily speechless....

the pain is great in this piece, without a doubt...

hugs, g

"laughter is the shortest distance between two people"  - victor borge

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
41 posted 2003-04-04 08:57 PM




Peter J Marcroft
Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 265
York, England
42 posted 2003-04-05 03:34 AM


thank you for looking at and enjoying my piece
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