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This is not a poem
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This is not a poem |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
This is not a poem I did not create this with a mouthful of air. In fact I did not create it at all, Whatever I am. My brain created it, Whatever that is. Then my hands put pen to paper and wrote words; Where The Poem went I do not know. Even later, by battering small pieces of plastic, I (wherever I came from) turned the words into electric signals, Just a mutation of energy, I know, but to me, monumentous. Now you (whatever you are) are reading words, Or rather percieving patters of electron bombardment Or the excitation of a liquid crystal matrix. But you see (maybe), This is (has) not (been) a poem; Let alone The Poem. --------------------------------------------------- i suppose if this were to be read in a book, hint, hint, then I would have to add another stanza regarding how 26 idiosyncratic character, 10 punctuation marks, and 3 typefaces somehow came together to convey The Poem to you, who ever you are (hopefully). -majnu |
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| © Copyright 2003 Zaheer Abbas Ali - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Haha... this is very clever, I think you could draw it out a bit more. What are hands? What are words? You still assume very much without filling in all the holes.  Still a very unique submission, I enjoyed reading. Parasite "Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very unique indeed...emjoyed it |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) And it is being unique that really makes a poets colors come out, thus I find this rather original and perfect for the book, as every unique voice should be heard and read! (big hugggssssssss) You nsure know how to decipher the gaps, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Zaheer, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-15-2003 03:00 PM).] |
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bbent Senior Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 521Alaska |
Go Cat Go!!! Live like it's your last day... Dance like nobody's watching... Love like you've never been hurt... [This message has been edited by bbent (02-16-2003 03:04 AM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I enjoyed this piece, majnu...  |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
For some reason I am reminded of Plato's forms. Perhaps there is the one perfect poem from which all others spring forth and take shape in this world. Or perhaps my brain is simply misfiring. All the same, an enjoyable read. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Excellent!!!!!! And if it's not a poem, whatever that is, it still should have a special place in our book of thoughts, eh? Accept these small gifts from my gypsy soul, and let the magik happen! ~~S~~ |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I sure wish you would stop saying that, for this is indeed a poem. And a splendid one at that.  |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
haha clever! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I enjoyed this electron bombardment, Majnu ... very much!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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winston Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 204NW of Eden |
If this poem was included in the anthology, it would have to be for the choice of words. As for the subject-content, there is an evident contradiction, or, rather a facile distinction between brain and its components. Is this what psychiatrists call 'self-deception'? It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, & incumbency. |
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Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
it was very good. I like it. |
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christian Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331 |
interesting write. i don't necessarily understand where youre coming from .. but, i think this would be a fine asset to the book. i mean, what's pizza without the toppings, right? |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
enjoyed this not a poem very much Charisma |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
the excitation of my liquid crystal matrix led me to push the button or, the devil made me do it.  Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
regards, sudhir |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
Or rather percieving patters of electron bombardment majnu, this struck me the most..brought back memories of those awful days when i was trying to study physics..hee |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
this is not a reply ok, ok, actually it is. I enjoyed this, can see your wit and intelligence! Great read. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
You may not think this to be a poem, but whatever you feel it to be it probably is as well as a darned good poem. Looking forward to the possibility of seeing it in the book. Dawn |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Much enjoyed....very creative. ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
...you could have fooled me! Warm hugs, EA |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Or the excitation of a liquid crystal matrix. ===================== how very cool it that line and imagery... waaaay cool...well done! Where the touch of lovers end and the soul of friends begin, |
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Ladycat
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
And I (whoever I am)want to vote for this piece so I think that I will do so. I have to agree with Christian on the pizza topping thing. This was just too nifty. Love, Ladycat Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I don't know where the little graphic of the bumping smiles is, so I'll just have to *bump* this without them.  |
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Red Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 143Ca |
Thanks for the bump! I like this; it's original and it made me smile! |
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Street Heart Member
since 2002-09-05
Posts 349Pennsylvania,USA |
I have to say that this is really a "cool!" non-poem! majnu,you have quite the imagination for creating something,uh... whatever it is!My vote!!! Peace,Geoffrey If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Yes, this is very interesting. "Love makes the world go around" |
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waldopepper Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 157Tennessee, USA |
(This is not a reply) In any preferred tense, past or present, except to say that the mutation becomes you my friend. A learned scholar's postulation in artistry remains, as always, the crux of your verifiable proof. Good words sir. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Good jub! This made me smile - or maybe it's NOT a smile!  |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
made me automatically think of that drawing of a pipe with the inscription, ceci n'est pas une pipe (or was it in english?) and the dada movement. Very good write Majnu and even, shall I dare say amusing :-), in a strictly serious way of course... ;-) Why on earth did you not turn on the voting sign? Or have you already been accepted? (second option probably correct) if so, let me offer you my congratulations :-) "more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you" |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
wings - yes i am already accepted! yeah! the name renee megrite (probably butchered the spelling) sounds french to me so it is not unlikely that the original was in french. i personally like best the picture of the apple with a boiler hat on top and a suit painted beneath it - that one is great. anyway thanks all for the votes. you like me ... you really, really, like me  .-majnu |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
hehehe, a nice little examination of the abstraction in computer science and physics and how it relates to the composition of poetry in our modern age of computer technology. I will vote for this one, even though I know it's in the book as is, lol. BTW, you might like to go one step further and go after the wierd things we do when we write, doing nothing more than etching lines into paper with ink and having it all somehow come together and make sense. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
nice write |
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