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majnu
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0 posted 2003-02-15 02:26 AM


This is not a poem

I did not create this with a mouthful of air.
In fact I did not create it at all,
Whatever I am. My brain created it,
Whatever that is.

Then my hands put pen to paper and wrote words;
Where The Poem went I do not know.
Even later, by battering small pieces of plastic,
I (wherever I came from) turned the words into electric signals,
Just a mutation of energy, I know, but to me, monumentous.

Now you (whatever you are) are reading words,
Or rather percieving patters of electron bombardment
Or the excitation of a liquid crystal matrix.
But you see (maybe), This is (has) not (been) a poem;
Let alone The Poem.

---------------------------------------------------
i suppose if this were to be read in a book, hint, hint, then I would have to add another stanza regarding how 26 idiosyncratic character, 10 punctuation marks, and 3 typefaces somehow came together to convey The Poem to you, who ever you are (hopefully).

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

© Copyright 2003 Zaheer Abbas Ali - All Rights Reserved
Local Parasite
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1 posted 2003-02-15 12:56 PM


Haha... this is very clever, I think you could draw it out a bit more.  What are hands?  What are words?  You still assume very much without filling in all the holes.  

Still a very unique submission, I enjoyed reading.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

passing shadows
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displaced
2 posted 2003-02-15 01:09 PM


very unique indeed...emjoyed it
Mistletoe Angel
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3 posted 2003-02-15 03:00 PM




(smiles) And it is being unique that really makes a poets colors come out, thus I find this rather original and perfect for the book, as every unique voice should be heard and read! (big hugggssssssss) You nsure know how to decipher the gaps, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Zaheer, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-15-2003 03:00 PM).]

bbent
Senior Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 521
Alaska
4 posted 2003-02-16 03:02 AM


Go Cat Go!!!

Live like it's your last day...
Dance like nobody's watching...
Love like you've never been hurt...

[This message has been edited by bbent (02-16-2003 03:04 AM).]

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2003-02-17 12:23 PM


I enjoyed this piece, majnu...
Andrew Scott
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since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 2003-02-17 12:53 PM


For some reason I am reminded of Plato's forms.  Perhaps there is the one perfect poem from which all others spring forth and take shape in this world.  Or perhaps my brain is simply misfiring.  All the same, an enjoyable read.
Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
7 posted 2003-02-17 04:39 PM


Excellent!!!!!!  And if it's not a poem, whatever that is, it still should have a special place in our book of thoughts, eh?

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy soul, and let the magik happen!  ~~S~~

WhiteRose
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since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
8 posted 2003-02-17 04:41 PM


I sure wish you would stop saying that, for this is indeed a poem. And a splendid one at that.
GOlDsparklESS
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since 2001-12-13
Posts 428
central nj
9 posted 2003-02-17 07:47 PM


haha clever!
Kit McCallum
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Ontario, Canada
10 posted 2003-02-18 06:26 AM


I enjoyed this electron bombardment, Majnu ... very much!

Best wishes,
/Kit

winston
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since 2002-12-19
Posts 204
NW of Eden
11 posted 2003-02-18 06:52 AM


If this poem was included in the anthology, it would have to be for the choice of words. As for the subject-content, there is an evident contradiction, or, rather a facile distinction between brain and its components. Is this what psychiatrists call 'self-deception'?

It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, & incumbency.
--G. "DUBYA" BUSH. June 14, 2001. Unaware of rolling TV camera.

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
12 posted 2003-02-19 12:50 PM


it was very good. I like it.
christian
Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 331

13 posted 2003-02-19 01:08 AM



interesting write. i don't necessarily
understand where youre coming from .. but,
i think this would be a fine asset to
the book. i mean, what's pizza without the
toppings, right?

Charisma
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lost in blue pages
14 posted 2003-02-19 04:04 AM


enjoyed this not a poem very much

Charisma

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
15 posted 2003-02-19 05:36 AM


the excitation of my liquid crystal matrix led me to push the button or, the devil made me do it.
Keth

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



Sudhir Iyer
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since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
16 posted 2003-02-21 11:39 AM




regards,
sudhir

kaile
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singapore
17 posted 2003-02-25 01:30 AM


Or rather percieving patters of electron bombardment

majnu, this struck me the most..brought back memories of those awful days when i was trying to study physics..hee

GG
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since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
18 posted 2003-02-25 02:54 AM


this is not a reply
ok, ok, actually it is. I enjoyed this, can see your wit and intelligence! Great read.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

DawnG
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19 posted 2003-02-25 02:28 PM


You may not think this to be a poem, but whatever you feel it to be it probably is as well as a darned good poem. Looking forward to the possibility of seeing it in the book.

                             Dawn

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
20 posted 2003-02-25 03:19 PM


Much enjoyed....very creative.
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
21 posted 2003-02-26 11:47 AM


...you could have fooled me!

Warm hugs,
EA

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

22 posted 2003-02-26 05:35 PM


Or the excitation of a liquid crystal matrix.
=====================
how very cool it that line and imagery...
waaaay cool...well done!

Where the touch of lovers end and the soul of friends begin,
there's a need to be separate and a need to be one ...
it's struggle neither wins.


Ladycat
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At the edge and a doorway,TX
23 posted 2003-03-03 12:09 PM


And I (whoever I am)want to vote for this piece so I think that I will do so.  I have to agree with Christian on the pizza topping thing. This was just too nifty.

Love,
Ladycat

Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most
beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation
or abstraction from life; IT IS LIFE I

WhiteRose
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since 2002-07-23
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somebody's dungeon
24 posted 2003-03-20 09:33 PM


I don't know where the little graphic of the bumping smiles is, so I'll just have to *bump* this without them.
Red
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since 2000-01-01
Posts 143
Ca
25 posted 2003-03-21 12:19 PM


Thanks for the bump! I like this; it's original and it made me smile!
Street Heart
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since 2002-09-05
Posts 349
Pennsylvania,USA
26 posted 2003-03-21 12:44 PM


I have to say that this is really a "cool!" non-poem! majnu,you have quite the imagination for creating something,uh...
whatever it is!My vote!!!

Peace,Geoffrey

If a man has not discovered something he is willing to die for,his life is not worth living.

Martin Luther King,Jr. Detroit,1963

garysgirl
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27 posted 2003-03-21 02:42 AM


Yes, this is very interesting.

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~  
                  

waldopepper
Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 157
Tennessee, USA
28 posted 2003-03-21 10:33 AM


(This is not a reply)

In any preferred tense, past or present, except to say that the mutation becomes you my friend.  A learned scholar's postulation in artistry remains, as always, the crux of your verifiable proof.  Good words sir.

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
29 posted 2003-03-28 09:47 PM


Good jub! This made me smile - or maybe it's NOT a smile!
wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land
30 posted 2003-04-08 06:52 PM


made me automatically think of that drawing of a pipe with the inscription, ceci n'est pas une pipe (or was it in english?) and the dada movement.
Very good write Majnu and even, shall I dare say amusing :-), in a strictly serious way of course... ;-)
Why on earth did you not turn on the voting sign?
Or have you already been accepted?
(second option probably correct)
if so, let me offer you my congratulations :-)

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
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SF Bay Area
31 posted 2003-04-08 08:31 PM


wings -

yes i am already accepted! yeah!

the name renee megrite (probably butchered the spelling) sounds french to me so it is not unlikely that the original was in french. i personally like best the picture of the apple with a boiler hat on top and a suit painted beneath it - that one is great.

anyway thanks all for the votes. you like me ... you really, really, like me .

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

32 posted 2003-04-21 01:26 AM


hehehe, a nice little examination of the abstraction in computer science and physics and how it relates to the composition of poetry in our modern age of computer technology.  I will vote for this one, even though I know it's in the book as is, lol.  BTW, you might like to go one step further and go after the wierd things we do when we write, doing nothing more than etching lines into paper with ink and having it all somehow come together and make sense.  

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
33 posted 2003-04-21 01:44 PM


nice write
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